Friday, February 20, 2009

Who knows??.......Only time!!!


Who can say where this friendship will take us
where these feelings will flow?
Only time…

And who can say will our friendship grows,
when our hearts away so far
Only time…

Who can say why our hearts beat,
when our love is clean and neat
Only time…

And who can say why our heart cries,
When our love dies?
Only time…

Who can say when our roads meet again
love will be in our heart?
Only time…

And who can say when the day sleeps,
Night keeps all our heart awake
Only time…

Who knows?
Only time…

Who knows?
Only time…

Then why to worry
Leave it on time

!!Shank!!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Noisy Silence. . .


Things have changed in many ways in my life in last couple of months, I wanted to express many things, wanted to say many words but don't know what holds me to do that in fact silences have filled my urge to express my feelings for someone.

Trying to spark my blog with my post which has some emotions though I know it doesn't have any regular visitors yet who understand what I want to say. Perhaps I am waiting for one who read and understands it!!

It is difficult to deal with this Noisy Silence. Now it was almost couple of months where I have been dealing with it. But during all this time I was preaching with a sort of hope. With that hope my ears were always ready, expecting to catch the familiar voice which I have been hearing so much in last 6 months. Fortunately those much awaited voice came to my ears but rarely And fly away from me.

Still the hope is exist and the silence itself has grown unknowingly into its own way. I don't know who nourished this silence me or you but certainly situation and time has some role to play in between. But now it was different than before, No more hopes are hovering around me and when hope dies, everything becomes crystal clears to you with some profound pain. It is as if hope itself builds up its own silence inside me.

Now, me poor emotional fool – nothing left to say, hope had been kept me dumb. The silence was loud and clear. It signaled the end of some things and the beginning of some unknowns. It brought in freedom and fear. It threw open some doors and shut many others. It redefined life. The silence begged to be killed in new ways. Not to wait for the old.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Way I Feel For You!!


If our friendship comes to an end, I won't cry
But then for every new friendship, I won't smile

I will wait for that moment happen to me
But my mind restlessly runs ahead of time

What could be the best case for me
Burst of a laugh together you and me

Worst things can also happened too
I will drain myself with tears for you

So, when whatever happens finally happens
I'll never disappoint. I'll never leave you

My life does not halt and neither do yours
But the world waits for me to laugh or cry

And when I search for someone like you
I'll find out no one like you

Puzzled at my lack of 'feelings' for you
That life chooses to throw at me at random

and yet I know

I've 'felt' far more than the rest
for all the things that do happen and


For all the things that finally don't
I've felt them all, with all my heart
!!Shank!!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Reebok shoes, Franky and V day plans

Well I am not feeling sleepy so I will just type out stuff about my evening. I hope to fall asleep on the Laptop doing it. I hope you too fall asleep reading it. Make sure you don't drool in your sleep. The saliva may screw up your keyboard.

This evening, V came to my home. He had to go shopping for some shoes. He asked me to accompany him. I refused V and told him I had to work on a project of top priority. He promised to pay for my pizza if I went with him. It took me seven seconds to get ready.

So we went to inorbit mall. And it's my habit that whenever I visit a mall I just don't miss to check out bookstores (I don't know why I do that but I always feels that kash koi mere jaisi mil jaye wahan pe) It's a nice bright bookstore with a lot of books. Middle aged women in khadi kurtas sit around on low stools and pore over books discussing ways to rekindle the fire in married lives. Little kids noisily run around book racks. Young girls are around the fiction racks. I think most people found in a bookstore are fat. Maybe it's because they spend a lot of time sitting and reading books on weight reduction. I picked up "elephant can't dance" and went to the billing counter.

The billing girl at the counter looked at the big red and blue Reliance ADAG logo on the front of my t-shirt and gave me a smile. I think she liked brand value of ADAG. And as I went away, she again smiled at me. I could feel it. It wasn't the 'please visit again' smile every customer gets. I think she liked me in a cute way. If you all who are reading my blog when visit that inorbit mall and by mistake visit that book store then plz tell her that I still think about HER.

We got out and we went into a Reebok store. V kept checking out the price tags of all the stuff there. He made a peculiar whooshing sound with his breath every time he did that. I think it translates into 'why don't I have a rich dad who is into smuggling?'. I did not have to buy anything. So I was pretty relaxed and tried on all the caps and shoes while he went around looking for something which had the price of a matchbox. He bought a pair of Reebok Shoes finally. Reebok people don't have the right marketing guys. It is a blunder to have that dark south Indian guy at the billing counter showing you his bright teeth. I felt a strange creepy chill the way he smiled at me. I will never go to that store again.

Then we went to food court to eat something. Never trust anyone. Just do not. People promise to pay for your pizza and back out then. And you can't do a thing because they have already bought the obscenely Reebok Shoes and got your company while doing it. It is a hard world. And then you realize for you it is even harder . I was not even carrying much money and had to settle for FRANKY. I wanted to empty the ketchup sachet on V's shoes. I controlled my anger.

On our way back in the Auto, and V was telling me about his valentine day plan and I was jealous of him as could I, and just that time V's girlfriend called up. I wanted to take revenge so I screamed 'Don't touch me V!' followed by 'Leave me V!' in the most girly voice I can put on. He spent the rest of the call explaining to his girlfriend there was no girl around him. You don't give me a pizza. I tear apart your love life and your V Day plan. Fair and simple.

It's past 3 in the morning now. But I still don't feel sleepy. I think I should try to sleep and who know in my dreams she might come.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Warren Buffett's advice for 2009


We begin this New Year with dampened enthusiasm and dented optimism. Our happiness is diluted and our peace is threatened by the financial illness that has infected our families, organizations and nations. Everyone is desperate to find a remedy that will cure their financial illness and help them recover their financial health. They expect the financial experts to provide them with remedies, forgetting the fact that it is these experts who created this financial mess.

Every new year, I adopt a couple of old maxims as my beacons to guide my future. This self-prescribed therapy has ensured that with each passing year, I grow wiser and not older. This year, I invite you to tap into the financial wisdom of our elders along with me, and become financially wiser.

* Hard work: All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.

* Laziness: A sleeping lobster is carried away by the water current.

* Earnings: Never depend on a single source of income. [At least make your Investments get you second earning]

* Spending: If you buy things you don't need, you'll soon sell things you need.

* Savings: Don't save what is left after spending; Spend what is left after saving.

* Borrowings: The borrower becomes the lender's slave.

* Accounting: It's no use carrying an umbrella, if your shoes are leaking.

* Auditing: Beware of little expenses; A small leak can sink a large ship.

* Risk-taking: Never test the depth of the river with both feet. [Have an alternate plan ready]

*Investment: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

I'm certain that those who have already been practicing these principles remain financially healthy. I'm equally confident that those who resolve to start practicing these principles will quickly regain their financial health.

Let us become wiser and lead a happy, healthy, prosperous and peaceful life.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

you proved me wrong!!


we were tuned to same frequency and doing well
But you proved me wrong!!

we had a trust which was impeccable
but you proved me wrong!!

we were sure that something will never change
but you proved me wrong!!

we thought we will never loose each other
but you proved me wrong!!

I thought you will surprise me this time
but you proved me wrong!!

I was so much important for you
but you proved me wrong!!

I hope you will again prove me wrong
by saying the words which I am waiting for long!!

I hope you don't prove me wrong!!

!!Shank!!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

My New Affair!!

From last 15 days I have moved from one orbit to another orbit. It was difficult to do because I don't wanted to give up my comfortable life with myself in my last orbit, I don't wanted to dare myself to do something new, something difficult, something which I haven't done from last 3 years almost. But now it was high time to change myself, to focus on what I dream of, to focus on what I want from life, to focus on hard work which I haven't done up to the mark so far. It is more behavioral transformation which lies inside your brain. It's about You Can!! It's about I Can!!

Few days ago after the working hours I had so much time in my hands and I was wondering that when I will say that I don't have time? But now yes, I can say to anyone that I don't have time, I don't have time to entertain myself as well as others because my all time is going into catching up my new affair. It has been remarkable start so far. I know it's just start we have to walk long on a path which is not smooth, not easy. I will be challenged by many people on the way both conceptually and morally but it was the only chance I have to take to prove something which I wanted to prove from long time ago.

Yesterday night I was dropping myself on bed to sleep around 2 am wondering what I have done today and what to do tomorrow. I was talking to myself in the midst of street light coming from my window but enlighten my bedroom completely. Well I hope my life will also get enlighten with the hope I am carrying with my new affair. I don't know when I fall into sleep thinking about the questions which I have been asked with my new affair. I want to give them answer not verbally but doing something which they think it's difficult to do.

I am encouraging myself from last many days because I am venturing a completely new things which will take me to my workaholic world. I know coming days are not easy, it will be more difficult more pressure from all peers and adding to that I will have only 4 months for this affair and there is many things to do in my to do list, many liabilities, many expectation. I hope I do better than my expectation by understanding the hard work, commitment and sacrifice required for turning each stone into milestone. I just want to focus on the target without thinking anything else and want to feel pleasure for which I am dreaming from last many days.

I am all excited, fascinated, happy and scared with my new affair. I am excited, happy because I am committed to do something and I am scared because I am in fear that what will be outcome of this affair. But I do understand that I should not worry about the outcome, I should more concentrate on my commitment and should trust my abilities to deliver result. Because I will never give up, courage is my conviction.

My New Affair is with my studies with which I am living day in and out, for whom I am thinking 24*7 and for whom I am counting each seconds which are becoming past.

Wish me luck and all the best for My New Affair.


Monday, February 2, 2009

Me MySelf and I - A Conference Call


Me: Hi ! So wassup? You wanted to talk to me?
I: Yes.Its important.
Me: Here I am.Burp out.
I: I don't know how you will take this.Promise ,you will listen logically.
Me: What ! What logically ? What's that?.Ok fine.I promise.I will listen logically? Let me take MySelf on conference call!!
I: Why MySelf?
Me: well dude I know only facts where he knows all logics of yours!!
I: Ohk!! Thanks.
Me: Hi Myself!! I is on a call and he wants to talk something important again!!
MySelf: what? Again something important!! Last month only we had a conference call regarding something important!! Now don't tell me its regarding his special friend again !!
Me: Just help him out yaar don't u see he is poor chap!! And plz don't use urs sarcastic words.
MySelf: ok!! I am listening.
Me: me too listening!! Go ahead

I: I think I have fallen in love with someone.
Me: WHAT !!! Again!!! You are out of your mind ! You are just...(jerk)
MySelf: I knew it Me. He will never improve. He loves to be emotional fool!!
I: You promised me Me. can you both listen me Plz.
Me: Ok Ok.Tell me about your so called love.
MySelf: ya ya go ahead I am all ears to listen your new love story again!!
Me: Stop it MySelf!! Don't use your sarcastic words!! Lets listen him first..

I: I don't know if its love or not but I am thinking about her a lot even I know...
Me: Hold on ,hold on! Don't tell me that this time you think its real and you have found the right one! Your TRUE LOVE waala lecture.I am just fed up with that...
I: When did I tell you that she is the one? I am just confused. I think she...
MySelf: I got it !I think I just got it.Stop me if I am wrong-You had "true" love for someone and she came to know about your "true love" and she broke your heart coz she didn't think that you were meant for each other,then you start counting your days of utmost frustration ,you start deleting every contact,you start hating everything around you,you start cutting yourself off from everything
Me: and then here enters the lady of your dreams, she talks nice to you,she tells you that you are sweet, your smile is cute, she likes to talk with you and all that crap and she likes you and you are a good person and nice friend and then some SMSs, some calls, some meetings and finally the Chalked up crevice on your heart sprouts and out flows the spring of love.Am I right?
I:Right…..rrreehhh…NO!!!

Me: Oh Gosh! Come on! Don't be an idiot. You fool. You know its nothing, and it's not possible also!! Just your stupid hormones going crazy. I mean, how many blows do you need to wake up?
I:Shut up! Just shut up!
MySelf: can you tell me who is she??
I: well frankly speaking I don't want to tell anyone on this earth that who is she!!
Me: oyeee You fool, can you hide things from me, I am "you" dumbo I know everything what you know!!
Myself: then whom you are waiting for just tell me who is she??
Me: Ok Ok !! she is my father's cousin brother's wife's brother's wife's daughter!!
MySelf: whats that???
Me: did you got I??
I: Yes I got you ba*****!!

I: I think I made a mistake calling you guys here. I thought you were the only ones who could understand me.
MySelf: Now don't tell us that we don't understand you
Me: Oh don't tell me.I UNDERSTAND YOU COMPLETELY.
I: Shut up I say!!!You don't even know the half of what I have gone through.
Me: Hello !I am "you" ,you fool. I am the first and only person to know everything about you.
MySelf: and I am second person!! Hahahah….

I:You know everything?May be you don't know this. You don't know that I already had realised before you that there's nothing called "love" that exists.
MySelf: Achha!!!
I: I don't love her ,Ok?I DON'T.Its just that I want her to know me.No one tried and even tries to do that. What do you know about me?You know nothing.
Me: How can you say that I??
I: let me tell you Me that you are insider of me. You are just past of me Me. You are always criticizer and always afraid of doing any new things. You just don't dare to put your foot outside your comfortable womb, you are moma's little boy!!
Me: I am your facts I…
I: and MySelf you just keep your mouth shut okk!! You think yourself a thinker and a brilliant who will change things around you. How many things have you changed so far!! don't forget you comes after me so be careful, think practical and plz come out from your dream wonderland.
MySelf: Achha!!!

Me: Now don't start your "I am alone and sad and no one loves me " waala crap ! I have already heard that a thousand times.You know what?You just don't want to be happy.
MySelf: and you don't wont people around you to be happy. You expect a lot from others and when you don't get what you expect then you start cursing yourself
I: If you both know me then why don't you help me out of this?


Me:Ok.So,why do you think they are not up to your expectation? I know what have you gone through.I know the disease you are suffering from and I know what it takes to live through it.I know it takes more than courage and strength to cope with it.But that's the whole point, damn it! Be proud of how you have faced it.
MySelf: I know you think in a different way and you want someone who thinks like you.You are desperate for a person with whom you can be the person you have always wanted to,someone who admires you,someone who holds you when you take up the blame ,stands for you when you find it difficult to face it.But have you ever thought that you may be looking at the wrong place?May be a "she" is not the answer to your problems.

I:I know.But isn't it just human,when I get inclined to someone who supports me emotionally? Isn't it normal then.
Me:I know but you have to learn.They are just trying to help you.Everyother girl who talks to you nice is not your "right one",right?
MySelf: and don't you know that your family is good enough to support you in every aspect of your life
I:I know.I am not that immatured .And I didn't fall for everyother girl and you know that.I like her,as a person as a friend as someone who tries to understand me.Isn't that love?

MySelf: No it is not love from her side as well as your side!! You are just getting greedy with your emotions dude!! You just keep yourself with the flow don't try to be adventurous by going against current
Me:No.It is not.Sometimes the line between friendship and love gets so blurred that you don't realise that you are crossing it.
I:But if only I give it a chance then only the friendship will give way to friendship,right?
MySelf: what chance you talking about dumbo!! Don't you know all facts don't you know all realities and don't you know your priorities dude, think about that not about her
I: I don't know what should I say now….

Me:Why are you so desperate,tell me? What's your problem? Why don't you let your fortune come to you rather than running after that? The one meant for you will surely come
MySelf: and take my word-the timing will be just perfect.
I:So are you guys telling me that it was always my fault? I did what my heart asked me .And I think whatever I did was just normal, anyone at my place would have done the same. I just listened to what my heart said to me.
Me, MySelf: Now listen us and do as we told you
I: I am not a jerk who falls for every other girl. I like her. She is a nice person and she really is so understanding. I swear I have not fallen for her but I have started thinking about her a lot and that's scaring me.I don't have the courage and I don't have anything left inside that can be broken.

Me: I am not blaming you sir. I am just asking you to watch your steps.
MySelf: But dude why are you hurting yourself when you know that is not possible
I:So how will I know if she is the one? You are asking me to stop listening to my heart and listen to the so called "practicality" of my mind. But if I do that, I may lose my "true"...
Me, MySelf:Do you believe in DESTINY?
I:Yes.
MySelf: Believe in your destiny and keep faith on your GOD
I: Hmmm
MySelf: and I If you know your destiny then decide your priorities and i am sure she will be not in top of your priorities, right??
I: mmmhhh......ya i think you are right!!!
MySelf: I hope you are getting us I... i am your future and i want you to make your future good as you can so stop thinking about all crap and concentrate on your prioritites.
Me: I think I understood what we are saying to him, what you say I??
I: hmmm....i think I understood!!!
Me:Then let's stop this here.


Sunday, February 1, 2009

Substitute!!


After you left me, I felt so alone and confused
Then I took out part of my heart –

The part where you used to fit in so completely before,
(You had to fit - you see, I built the nest around you.)

I dissected it into bits and pieces -
Creating a jigsaw puzzle for me to play with.

Each day since then every night
I set out with one part in hand,
Trying to find things to substitute that piece in the puzzle.

I became quite a frustrated by the time I gave up,
And I know the pieces for which there is no substitute.

Some parts of you will still remain in the puzzle,
Glittering bits of a whole that once was a heart.

Are you doing the same somewhere near or far?
If so, I hope you find substitutes hard to come by.

!!Shank!!