My Girl Friend, Basanti !!

I am young, a youth member of this rising economy but I am not social economist, not a social activist who stand with megha patkar, I am not a intellectual liberated youth instance who sips coffee and holds an opinion on everything from "Rakhi Sawant ka swyamwar" to indo-pak on Baluchistan issue and to double India's GDP over night. Actually I am a simple guy with views as superficial as John Abraham's acting skills and my understanding of social trends runs as short as the skirt of the kareena kapoor in kambakt ishq. But lately, I am beginning to notice the subtle extermination of a rather happy social species - The Single male

Having a girlfriend says two things about a guy

1. On a look index, guy ranks somewhere between Hrithik and Shahrukh
2. On a financial index, guy ranks somewhere between two ambani brothers

Not having a girlfriend also says two things about a guy

1. He is a gay.
2. He is definitely a gay.

Array yaar kuch to sharam kar, Abu Salem ki bhi girl friend hai and Mika, uski to do-do girlfriend hai. I mean Guys who aren't even close to respecting a woman have girlfriends. Its seems that every one is going around now days.

And this social development confuses me and poses an intriguing question - When everyone around me is "going around" , and I am single, and not gay, why do I feel a girlfriend is a pretty ( or not-so-pretty) friend who eats up personal independence and hikes up phone bills? To make things more rational, let me imagine I have a girlfriend, whom I shall call Basanti as a mark of respect to dream girl (Dharam pa ki) Hema Ji.

Now let me see how 'going around' with Basanti can dent my life.

1. "Kis se baat kar raha tha?"

Basanti calls me up and finds my number to be busy. Basanti again calls me up after 1 min and 37 seconds again finds my number to be busy. She can't wait any more she again calls me up after exactly 43 sec And even though she heard the pre recorded Reliance voice says "The number you are trying to call is currently busy. Please try after some time", but Basanti hears "The guy you are trying to call up is highly cheap. He is talking to Shruti (kaun hai ye bhai??) right now and is expressing is undying love to her. He may claim he was talking to his mother. Don't trust him."

Soon after I disconnect the call to maaaa, Basanti calls me up and before I can say a hello, yells a "Go to Hell! And take Shruti along with you!" shattering my eardrum. The insecurity of Basanti. Sigh.

2."Wo kurti bhi pack kar deejiye and wo salwar bhi"

So it is second anniversary of the day me and Basanti first had sms each other and she expects a gift. It's not just a gift, but a sweet 'nishani' which carries the perfumed memories of that lovely day, she says. So I go over to the Palm Beach gallery and searched everything in girls compartment, while in my single days, I would have spent the same time watching CNBC. After a couple of hours, I finally buy a pink kurti which costs me more than the price from which I can come back from goa. All the gifts a Basanti demands/requests/expects.Sigh.

3. Sniff. Sniff.

A fine lazy Sunday afternoon. I lie on the couch flipping between ESPN and HBO. The phone rings.

Me: "hello?"
Basanti: "Sniff. Sniff."
Me: "Abbe kaun hai? agle saal bolega kya?".
Basanti: "Sniff. It's me, calling from my friend's mobile, Basanti. Sniff.".
Me: "Oh ok. You have a cold?"
Basanti: "I am....crying. sob sob.."
Me: "Oh. It sounded just like a running nose though. And I saw Kambakt Ishq yesterday. The movie was so much terrible that even the chairs wanted to leave the hall." I decided to change the topic....as soon as i realized flood is coming my way....and she interrupted
Basanti: "You will never understand...sniff...sniff..."

The "emotional intelligence" and "understanding" a Basanti needs from me. Sigh.

4. "Mouth close karke kha!"

Me and Basanti are digging into a Grill Sandwich at the corner. While trying to balance a sandwich slice on its journey from the tray to my mouth, a particularly big onion piece slides off its surface and lands on the table with a plop.

Basanti: "Chee. Theek se kha na. Table manners!"

I scoop up the onion piece from the table with my finger put it in my mouth and say cheerfully:

"Table manners gaye bihar , sandwich khane de yaar"

Basanti: "Sheesh. You are disgusting".

While in my single days I could have asked for extra sauce and chatani to make the overall cost of the sandwich little bit lower and chew as noisily as a i never seen it before, now I need to take care I don't embarrass the great manners ki dukaan, Basanti . The silly changes a Basanti demands from me. Sigh.

5. "Five missed calls and seventeen mails"

Sorry for the abrupt speed breaker, but chal wapas real world mein aa jata hoon. Actually I am in office but so much scared with the thoughts of Basanti that I couldn't recognize call and mails.

Hiaaalllaaaa…….three miss calls from my manager……F***

About Basanti, I have around 197 more points I can write against her. But still, saara zamaana, girlfriend's ka deewana, so there must be something good about Basanti. Just that I don't see it.

7 wonders of My Life - Crush to Crash - Part 2

Continue from Part 1

Now I was no longer be a novice into this crush to crash crap, I had a experience of four crashes each with different lessons but still from inside you always search better than your previous and when you had back up of experience you become more choosy and clear with your dimensions. So its makes you better rather than best perspective of getting crush from someone and its same happened with me not exactly same but somehow I can consider this my 5^th crush to crash crap.

I didn't want anyone at that point of time but as you know when you don't want anyone you will get someone very easily. And yes I got introduce to Ms K somehow and that somehow remains somehow only...hehehehe

Moving ahead with all the fun I had with this entire crush to crash wala things….its seems to be funny now. Why we have crushes? And if we do have then why it always get crash? Anyways mystery still continues when I meet with Ms V with some of my friends. I had immediately crushed on her but that crush did not last longer than 5 min as she was already committed and this was the fastest crash I had so far thank god!! But this was the best thing happened so far till now, I got one of the good friend in the process.

Anyways moving ahead i want my last crush should be different from all the above, waiting for the moments.

Enjoy!!!!

7 wonders of My Life - Crush to Crash - Part 1

Life is wonderful and when you look behind the moments which you have been lived with your life will present wonderful experience. Some of them might have taught you many things; some might be making you laugh and on some might be asking you questions and laughing on your.

Everyone in their lives would have crushes, and I too had my share of crushes. But, it didn't take much time for each of them to turn to crashes. None of my crushes took off, or probably they crashed even before they took off!! Today, when I look back, I can't manage but to have a laugh. But some of the crushes turn into great friends where some shrugs of from the memory, but still when you remember those incidence you bounds to give a broad smile.

My First crush was with Ms V. I was in my 7^th class. I didn't know about love, crush and all phenomenons. I was so innocent in those days but then I no longer be innocent after I saw her in my class. She taught me what is love and crush without a word. We happened to speak only once that too after six months wait, but it happened when I was punished and standing outside a class and she was monitor of my class. She was complaining about me to the teacher and I told her, "SORRY". I still can't forget dumbstruck look on my face. And that's the miserable end of my first love. This is the way my first crush turn into crash.

I was in 10^th class and was going in coaching classes and there I found Ms J oops…sorry Mrs. V. She was in same school but I never had interacted with her but unfortunately (fortunately for me) we became friend. I used to make notes for her with the hope that someday she will pay me back with her love And I was waiting for send-of party and that day came soon. I was as excited as I could but everything vanished in one frame of picture when I saw her with guy. Well disastrous moment for me. I didn't teach her single problem after that day I swear!!

Well life moves on and we all need to find someone else after someone that was the underlying philosophy on which I was working and it worked for me when I step into my junior college. Her name is Ms M. what a smile she has!! Ohh I still remember her smile great isn't it! We were in same practical batch and I never missed any single practical of that subject. It took 2 years to talk with her first time and it too late for anything as she wants to become doctor and I want don't want to be doctor. End of my 3^rd crush. Very sad isn't it!!

It truly said that "Bander kabhi gulati marna nai bhulta hai" even I didn't but it took couple of years for my new crush Ms R. We were in the same Degree College. She was a so called babe of the College and I still remember that semester in which I helped her a lot, each assignment, each program, each journal what not I had done for her and same time she was also giving me some "bhaav". But everything cleared to me that when I came to know that all guys were getting bhaav from her. Well that was a time where I really had serious confrontation with myself regarding picking up wrong script always . . . haha . .

Things were going smoothly and I was happy also with myself, no more crushes so no more crashes…… " Jiyo aur Jine Do " But God didn't wanted to see me happy and one more crush to crash, this time it was more intensive more progressive kind of crush…….

Still 2 years to go....... (first comic attempt)

Yes, still 2 years to go…. It is statement I have eluded so many times since last two years. And now I am fed up with this statement and no more I want to say this to all but again I am saying still 2 years to go, it's so frustrating.

It happened that I was attending a socio get together by chance last Sunday. And one my uncle (I don't know who was that fellow but uncle is better word to call him) approached me and asking me about all things. He was asking me all questions so tentatively that I could make out that "daal mein kuch kaala hai" and I smelled the purpose of taking my interview on so much urgent basis.

Mein bhi kidhar piche rahene walo mein se tha, even I responded him nicely (thoda chada bada ke bol raha tha). After asking me common HR questions (about my family, my parents, siblings, surname, native place) he started 2^nd round of interview about my professional, hobbies, career scope, goals, salary package (most important) and one more very important and conclusive question (read till the end)

Its difficult to narrate each and every question in English so its better I use hinglish here (waise bhi koi padta nai hai mera blog kis mein bhi likh kya farak padta hai??)

Uncle: looking for making new friends huh??
Me: No, I already have many

Uncle: then, who you are looking for?
Me: (I just smiled)

Uncle: hmm, seems to be ready for mingle!
Me: again just smiled

Uncle: are you engaged??
Me: No, not at all. Who the hell spreading rumors!!

Uncle: Ohh thts Good, Very Good
Me: No expression (just thinking that what was so much good in that)

Uncle: so what are doing studying or working?
Me: both studying and working

Uncle: Achha, where are you working and what are you studying??
Me: (y d hell he is asking me so many questions???) I am working in RCOM and preparing for CFA

Uncle: RCOM??? Ye RCOM kaunsi company hai???
Me: Reliance Communication

Uncle: achha, jo bekar mobile bechti hai??
Me: kya? We are into telecom services
Uncle: haan pata hai kar lo duniya muthi mein wali company, Dhirubhai ka sapna sabka maal apna
Me: to

Uncle: kaam kya karte hai company mein??
Me: I am business analyst
Uncle: business ko analyst kya karma hota hai, sirf sim card to bechne hote hai
Me: (only wondering what should I say)

Uncle: ye reliance salary bahot kam deta hai
Me: (then you give me, bl***y hell)

Uncle: what's your goal? What you want to achieve?
Me: I want to be an entrepreneur
Uncle: enter prenor ye kya hai?? Koi hero hai kya???
Me: I want to do my own business
Uncle: array tere ko tera dhandha chalu karna hai aisa bol na
Me: (dhandha…well what should I say)

Uncle: what is your hobby??
Me: writing and reading blogs
Uncle: ye kaunsa game hai?? Kuch bhi timepass kar ne ka kya?? Kaam kar ne ka time pass nai
Me: (F*** O**)

Uncle: (hmm, ladka to achha hai n shaadi ke layak bhi hai) my nephew has done mbbs and now doing internship
Me: Good
Uncle: we looking for good guy like you for her
Me: (sala apna number laga raha hai) ohhh
Uncle: want to know more about her?
Me: (yes, whats her name, figure, color and of course mobile no) No thank you

Uncle: array ask, jo puch na hai puch le
Me: nai uncle (can you ask her for date??)

Uncle: so what you say?? Can I talk with your parents for marriage??
Me: still two years to go…. (Uncle's face became yellow like papaya, must be thinking that phokat ka time waste kiya)


I know it was not comedy but mein aisa hi comedy karta hoon…..its funnyyy…hahahahahahaha…..now plz smile….

Actually something I need to tell my self that from last two years I am saying still 2 years to go……. But even today after 2 years I am saying same thing because I am no near to my destiny, I don't know how much time it will take for me to reach on a path to my destiny and I want to change that statement. Again change…..it is year of change indeed for me.

I don't want to say still 2 years to go… next year also….i want this 2 become 1 and finally I committed to someone but before that there are more things to do which are on high priority for me.

So till den 2 years to go…….