pehli mulaaqat se pahele

Aaj unse pehli mulaaqat hogi..

phir aamne saamne baat hogi..

phir hoga kya, kya pata kya khabar..

I am adding to the chorus of this Kishore da’s melody. However, unlike the song there is no excitement in my mind. I guess I am anxious. Or should I say nervous?? Not sure..

I am going to meet someone. This is not the first time ever I am meeting any one but still this is completely different moto. Yup I used the word “moto”.  For the first time ever in my life I am meeting someone to see for whole life or not? I don’t know. Don’t know will I be able to talk properly? Will she think I am khadus? Will she like my voice?? God!!  What is happening? Why am I thinking all this? Relax... Take a deep breath and cool down. It will be fine.

OK, I think you want little back ground of the story….Yes story!! We know each other. We know each other well all through a text, voice etc but all I could say that I never seen her before. Isn’t it madness?? Without seeing a person how can you speak hell of your personal matters? But I did, somehow it happened. Even though in the climax we always see some obstacles comes in picture same will happen here too but …. You know what I want to say right? That’s enough for you to gaze what I am saying isn’t it?

Now coming back today, the day when I am going to meet someone who is going to be special for me for my entire life. Many questions popped out in my mind, will she like me?? How will be her reaction? What she will speak first? With what word I should start to talk?? Shall I speak in English or mother tongue will be fine? What if she thinks I am flaunting too much?? What if she don’t like me?? God! Please grant me strength to handle this.

I know I never thought like this, but what should I wear, a formals or casuals? What she likes? All I say I look good in casuals. God! Please let me have the right gait with it on.

Sometimes I speak out what comes in my mind although sensible enough but it give impression that I am flaunting. Well with her I should be more composed with all things. God!! Please control me.

"Humare zamane mein ladkiyan badi sharmili hoti thi.. aur aaj-kal ki kudiyan...." Oh this is my mother's voice echoing in my mind. I know I am bold and my friends says confidence shows on my face. Will she like that? What if she bold and very open? What if she is too much forward? I am not sure. God! Please conceal it and portray me as a timid person.

Well something which I needs to tell is about my work profile. I know she won’t ask me but still. I agree overall package I have is not much handsome but I will try to rebalance everything. Again my desire to study further that too full time where I won’t be earning anything. Is it fine with her? What if she don’t agree with me?? And suppose I can’t present my case strongly. God!! Please help me live with this.

You know while writing this I am getting all the words we had spoke in last few days…..well I am afraid too…but I am hopeful too….well adding here one phrase “Agar miya bibi raji toh kya karega kazi”. It is as simple as mathematics 2+2=4 only don’t try to make it 5. Hope you will able to make your family understand the simplicity of life and growth starts from root not from the leafs J

Just Hold on… Why am I being so paranoid? Will she too be thinking the way I am? And with the same intensity? Let me just revisit my thoughts...

What’s wrong if the I speak my heart out? And also try to flaunt my thoughts? She knew it already.

What’s wrong with the casual? And even she will be in same casuals right jeans and tee??

What’s damaging about my thoughts? In fact I feel they are the main force of attraction isn’t it??

What’s unethical if I will get to much comfortable with talking her?? As a matter of trust that would make her to comfortable!!

What’s immoral if my package is not handsome enough? But she know that as a family I can manage everything….and if she desires more than what else can be a better inspiration to work and earn harder?

And what’s wrong if I tell her that I wish to study further more to give her better future!!

Why should I let these inhibitions accompany me and mask the “essence of myself”? Why should I change something which has been built over past 25 years just to ensure that a girl who meets me for 25 minutes says a YES?

Why shouldn't I present the "me" as I am? But at least I'll be sure that my core is not lost in the process. After all that’s what marriage is all about right? Accepting the differences and respecting the individuality??

It’s not worth troubling the Almighty with these silly problems. Let me handle the issue myself :) and leave the rest to Destiny.

SWEETS AT MY DESK.!

Subha Utha, Nahaya...Mast Deo Lagaya...
Usko Yaad Kiya Aur Muskuraya...

Muskurahat Ka Kaaran Tha , Kya Sapna Liya Tha Raat Ko
Main Company Ka CEO Aur My Dream Girl Was My PMO.

Mann to Kiya So Jaun, Swapn Ki Duniya Mein Laut Jaun...
Phir Socha Uski Jhalak Paani Hain Office Mein, Kahin Late Na Ho Jaun...

Goggles Lagaya Style Mein, Sutta Niptaya,
Bike Kiya Self Start, Accelerater Maara

Pahooncha Office...Card Swipe Kara..
Khola Pc ...Outlook Express Top Par Mail Uska Paaya...

Mailbox Dekh Sanatta Chaya..
Uska Mail Ka Subject Humien Na Bhaya..

Ek Baar Phir Kiya Mail Ka Subject Check
Oh No ..Not Again..Same Words..."Sweets At My Desk"

Darte Darte Khola Mail...Andar Wedding Invitation Paaya...
Lo Bhaiya Lut Gayee Duniya...Mandraya Kala Saaya...

Dukhi Mann Se Socha ...Chalo Ek Baar Contents To Padd Le..
Naam Kya Hai Ladke Ka...Details Se Rubaru To Ho Le...

Phir Ek Baar Mann Chakkar Khaya...Uska Naam Kahin Naa Paaya..
Mail Ka Phir Se Audit Kiya...Dil Ko Ncr Report Acha Aaya...

Mail Ke Subject Se Achi Mail Ke Body Nikli..
Jiski Shaadi Thi ..Woh To Uski Sister Nikli...

Bhujti Hui Lau Phir Phadphadai...
Ek Umeed Jaagi..Asha Ki Ek Kiran Nazar Aayee.

Josh Bhare Kadmon Se Rukh Kiya Uske Cubicle Ki Aur...
Ab Sirf Uskee Jhalak Nahin ..Yeh Dil Maange More..

Aaj Tak Cubicle Ki Diwaron Se Dekha Tha Usko..
Dekhte Hi Usne Bola ..Lo Dear, Sweets Lo..

Humne Suna "Dear" , Humne Kaha Ab No Fear.
Kiya Jhuki Aankhon Se Usko Stare, Uthaya Sweets Ka Apna Share..

"Dear" Shabd Kitna Acha Lagne Laga Tha....
Uske Aur Mere Beech Ka LOC Ab Mitne Laga Tha...

Baton Hi Baton Mein Usko Bataya Mail Padke Hua Confusion Tha
Reply Jo Bataya Usne, Phir Se Chida Kargil Tha..

Phir Se Lau Bhuj Gayee Thi, Ummeed Mit Gayee Thi ....
Uski Sagai Ki Mail To Ek Hafte Pahle Hi Bounce Back Ho Chuki Thi...

---- Forwarded mail :)

 

"Company Bus" or "Kingfisher Bus"

I would really like to show the concept of “Kingfisher Bus lines” to our FMG team but thought other way round, not to make it public, let me to have a talk with dr. Mallya (don’t be surprised by doctor, donation dene se sab kuch milta hai :P)

~~ Background mein se ghabrayee hui aawaj: “Abbe saale, tu phir se aa gaya?? Abbey aadmi hai ya dev anand, kab retire hoga?

~~ Background mein se khushi ki aawaj : “Kingfisher Bus lines, wow, wow, hmmm, hmm….” ~ (Hold on guys, I am sure only guys will do this, aage toh pado, ya title mein hi khush ho jaoge)

I know it’s very unusual topic where people will say “abbey, yeh bus ke bare mein kya likhega? Bus to bus hoti hai”

But bhai saab or bahenji (take suitable title if you are sure enough) agar bus kingfisher ki ho toh bahot kuch likh sakte hai!! Oohh…sorry guys again raising the hope.

Ok..No arguments. “Bus toh bus hoti hai but bus mein aane wale different hote hai” yes, this blog is dedicated to all the one who pays 1250 INR (for TG1) every month (for kingfisher Bus lines it will cost one zero more…..12500 INR) rahene do yaar….apne ko toh yehi bus chalegi. I mean we Indians always know their value of money. (sorry to Mr. Mallya, no bus hostess this time)

Ok now start, but please don’t get amused with the observation. I am just taking all in refined way…I mean light way…so have a fun!! Mind it if you have else go and find it!! J

Yeah, though three fourth of my soul was destroyed by “ishqiya” (my last night movie adventure) but, I am technically alive. And by the way when I was walking towards my bus stop yesterday morning with my friend, My friend saw 2 new Volvo bus (saicare likha hota hai). “kya bus hai yaar teri, full aaram” he told me. But I knew the fact, I smirked and said “Abbe Hata saawan ki ghata, baawala hai kay?” But hey bhagwan, yeh tera kaisa insaaf hai, engineer toh mein bhi hoon (without KT), toh mere liye(Tech M) aisi bus and Unke liye (Capegemini, TCS, Cognizant) woh bus kyon? Kyon? Kyon? last two words were echo effect…

And even though a mole on your back would interest you more than my bus travelling life but please believe me I am writing here because some of my friend (suffered from company bus) has requested me to do so…and I am pretending to understand every word of their difficulties they have shared with me by putting into un digestive filthy style.

Now I am starting with the ladies (Ladies first yaar, always), although this is my new job, with every job I am exposed to, I am more convinced that the most meaningful things in the day of working woman are finding out 50% discount on any famous shopping mall, discussing MIL issues and pretending to be good cooker by collecting every recipe they found by word of mouth communication. Even in my bus… concept yehi hai….– Ladiej will be Ladiej .

‘Oyee kake…issues pe dhyan de….objective yaad rakh yeh blog likhne ka….delivery pe dhyan de’.

“Haan haan pata hai”

So let me highlight some issues here which I had borrowed from few of my colleague (waise I don’t have any specific issue except agar ‘kingfisher Bus lines’ hoti toh woh south Indian cleaner ke jagah every morning I will get to see those beautiful bus hostess..woww)

Well people wants comfort every where now days and comfort in company(Tech M) bus like google in china so don’t have much choices.

They have told me about non technical requirement like Head rest, seats are not comfortable, arm rest, cleanness, Freshness…fine…but they didn’t stopped here some have even told me about technical issues like suspension problem, silencer problem, noise, Air Condition, …etc etc…yeh to shopping list ban gayi yaar.

In short, it’s very much uncomfortable. I mean we want to be fresh and at the best on our job when we get down from bus every morning but things doesn’t seems to be at place, headache, backache, neck ache….what not!! So if you are reading this blog and again if you think you can help out all those people who travel by company bus then please don’t wait for me to give any approval, please go ahead and do something about it!! Upparwala dua dega J

But seriously man when I think about the company bus I missed one girl, I think she got the new job…. Lucky na… Actually she used to talk a lot on a phone in bus and I know everything about her family, dad, mom, neighbor, uncle, aunty like, I am her family member except her name…ya everyday I hear what she speaks on a call….

My observations doesn’t stop here, I can be more creative than Ram Gopal verma nowdays… I see people in bus reading newspaper like they are reading their own article. They don’t even bother about who sits next to them. Some of the distinct relatives of Homo sapiens who engulfed themselves in their cells to listen music like they all are testing music player of Nokia. Some of are carrying everyday new books and making me wonder how they can finish one book in one day.

Now I think I should tell you that what make you to write blog here where I can not hear anything back. Well it’s like tickling the nose of a taped Thakur Saab, when Ramu kaka is on annual leave. You can have all the fun touching his nose in all the sensitive places while he mumbles “Ramu kaka ko chutti se wapis aane de, fir tujhe thappad marwaunga.”

So now I really hope that I covered all the issues related to company bus and explained you the concept of “Kingfisher Bus lines” (guys now you can imagine what all things you will get in “Kingfisher Bus lines”).

I think now I should try to utilize my Sunday by doing something which helps my country and takes it to glorious heights our ancestors dreamed about. For a start…. Let me check what’s coming on HBO……

consequences of basanti . . . lolzz

Yesterday, I met one of my old friend after long time for a dinner. We sat in the corner of restaurant, far from the reaches of the clanging vessels and quarreling forks. We spread our feet underneath the table, spread napkins on our laps and sat there for hours. I started looking around but not thick crowd was present. Every time  we saw girl with thick, tumbling hair and antimony black eyes, I rolled my own eyes on her from top to bottom where he flung awkward gesture at me and asked me “What?” and every time he saw a brooding laughing guy and stare at him admiring his freedom and looked at me for sympathy I asked him “what?”

We cursed the “Friends” who refuse to join us, who preferred their private celebrations to our pleading invitation and we thanked each other for the companionship we sought and gave. We watched people eat, drink, celebrate and rejoice the last day of this week. We drowned our sorrow down the guts, and filled our sacs with food that tasted sad and bland. The aroma not aroma but stench of desperation and the morsel not food but a compromise in the name of joy.

For a moment I forgot about him and closed my eyes to take that dive into my past of similar unparalleled  instances. But he held my shoulder and shook me out my suicidal quest into another night of despair. 
A group of friends over a birthday cake, a couple and their soft dialogues, a family of four, few waiters running around in their skewed bow-ties and hurrying speeches, a burly manager with his notepad and a busy restroom door that swayed every 30 seconds to the pushes of everyone else we found uninteresting and not worth mentioning. We didn't talk much but we just reaped the muted nuances the world callously scattered around us, bit by bit.

He looked like an old man, experienced but unaware of his experiences. He looked lonely to me, lost but careless. We didn't talk much as we feared the voices would disturb the quivering balance we have between us.

But I can’t hold anymore without asking “dude, what’s the matter?”

He looked directly into my eyes and told me “You don’t have your basanti (girl friend) right? So, you won’t understand”

I doubled laughing after hearing that from him. But after few minutes I read consequence of having basanti in his eyes JJ

Food Corner @ Inorbit City Mall

Well staying near by shopping malls is always being an advantageous. You have a friends, you have many friends who always don't like to stay home in weekend, suggest you to meet them at mall. So I decided to do upkar on mall by visiting it on this weekend and meet up some friends too. But mere friends sab IST follow karne walon meine se hai jo TIME VALUE concept mein bilkul nai mante, so I land up more than hour before in mall.

So, I found myself in a pizza hut with nothing to do over the next hour . I settled down at a corner table, plugged in my headphones, ordered a little something and casually looked around. Being an Analyst, I have to develop this inborn tendency to analyse a sneeze, so I used that hour to categorise the type of crowd that visits mall.

1. The loud and happy "hum saath saath hain" family
Wah Kya family hai. From Grandfather to Grandchildren everyone is there to have a fun. Now thoda detail mein jata hoon bowing respect to ladies of that family. Saas of that family was ditto to ditto matching with the Ekta Kapoor's serial saas. Silk pallu - scorpion bindi-saas murdering brigade of women, this breed is soon going to be listed with the "Akhil Bhartiya endangered species protection board". Everybody looks happy here, Daddy get to looks new chicks around the mall, Mummy is satisfied as she got chance to do shopping, kids are happy because they know that in spite of their dad looks so outrageous, he is going to order ice cream after pizza. This is one of the more noisy tables of the hut. In case it is a joint family, frequent peals of laughter accompanied by table slapping is evident. In case it is a sardaar joint family, frequent peals of roaring laughter accompanied by table upturning slapping is evident.

2. The coochie coochie "Kuch Kuch hota hain" couple

This is the karan johar sponsored couple which is usually a boyfriend-girlfriend combo pack. Just married couple who are yet to fall in the where-is-my-shirt-you-pick-kids-from-school' trap of married life may also qualify here.

They prefer to sit in remote corners of the hut, They sit as close as siamese twins , may eat from the same plate and the only time their hands are not holding each other's body parts is when they are holding spoons or forks. They don't laugh the typical 'Navjot singh sidhu' brand of loaring laughter. It is more like twittering accompanied by whispering into ears. In short, both of them are in complete bliss. For the guy, bliss ends much earlier, when the waiter brings the bill.

3. The "shehar ki ladki" tribe

The table which challenges every sound barrier with its shrieking and excited occupants. High school girls maybe. Even college girls, if they are slightly low on maturity. Usually, there is an occasion, which usually is the birthday of one of those ladies. Shrill and sharp pizza-toppling cries of 'wowwwwwwwwwwwwww', 'Howww chweeeeeeeeeeeet', 'Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww' escape from this gang. A lot of ribbons , gifts and greeting cards may also be passed around , leading to delight of the birthday girl and a certain archies gallery owner and obviously interest of all guys was on that table.

4. The "kya kool hai hum" boys

This is the symmetrical opposite of all above 3 category. But boys are boys, they sounds highly unsophisticated and much more unrestrained in terms of their colorful vocabulary. 'Abbe ******, pizza kaunsa mangwaye?', 'Ganguly to G**** hain', '**** ***', 'Check her out', 'abey teri chaavi (mumbai language for gf) se baat karun kya?', 'teri maa ki ankh' are some examples suitable for an above 18 audience. Their table manners are in urgent need of upgradation. Any delay in getting the food on table may lead to heated reactions by these boys, unless there is enough of category 3 around to keep their minds off food. The payment is the most tense and crucial moment, when frequent references to previous 'saale-tujhe-mere-200-dene-hai-pehle-ke' 'abey lend me 50 bugs now' 'mere tu bhar de'.

5. The "na tum bolo na hum" couple

I am really confused about this variety. I mean, if a man and a woman don't want to talk, what kinda gunpoint threat got them together at mall? And what kind of gf & bf who don't even talk with eachother. Amen I wish I could have gf who just hate to speak . . hehehe These people avoid eye contact with each other, smile with the comfort of a nun in a nightclub and keep looking out of the nearest window with the classical philosphical expression. The most elaborate conversations they strike up are about the temperature of the soup, which last for about thirteen seconds, including the sighs and coughs.

6. The 'tanha tanha yahan pe jeena' organism

Primarily, This category excatly suits myself. These are people in wait for their friends/girlfriends/boyfriends/blind dates/dates who can see. The waiters eye them suspiciously, clearly distressed by the person's sipping a single coke over the last forty minutes. The fellow passes his time by sipping the drink with the hurry of a super slow motion vision stump camera, blows bubbles in the glass , spends time by memorising every name in the menu card, or just looking at other people.

Well there is some more people who don't fit any above category, about them will write some other day. Chill maar yaar. Have a good day!!

My Long Lost Song Playlist

After almost 18 months I got my PC working and being into this long weekend I decided to renew my playlist on my system. So I delved into my hard disk, into folders that had been long forgotten, lying untouched since ages like your good old books which lies dumped in the shelve once you grow up.

Folders that had been lying embedded deep in the disk like abandoned Umrao Jaan (my fav Rekha ji). Some of the hidden folders which only bachelor guy can find out (well don't tell to my mom it's in E drive-program files-file submit-folder lock- software-new folder, even james bond might have found difficult to find out those movies . . .heheheh) but well this post is about my playlist so doston kaunsi kaunsi movie phir kabhi bataunga.

Now I was looking into my songs and a found a folder that contained songs which once made my heart dance like a drunken monkey who just left alone in the house. So I rediscovered some old classic songs which were once played at every tea shop in this country.

Songs which define the times I grew up in a mid 90's. songs which contained the gut wrenching grief of a lost love, the cute joy of a blossoming love, the mischievous naughtiness of a lover's wink. Songs which embodied the emotions, which fill the developing heart of every Indian boy when he is growing up. Songs which have made many hero and heroine a star. So ladies, gentlemen and Bobby Darlings, not wishing that these gems ,which have played such an important role in the making of this sophisticated, refined and tasteful young generation go unrecorded on this blog , I give to you, a few of these life changing creations.

"Kahan Gir Gaya Dhoondho Sajan Button meri kurti ka"

English translation, for the benefit of my overseas readers (Yes, I have many visitors from US. A girl from Oman visits sometimes, too.)

(Where has it fallen, please search Darling, The button of my shirt)

This extremely naughty and imaginative song sensitively captured the anxiety and terror of a young girl who, due to a unskilled tailor who used a cheap thread, has lost a very crucially located button on her shirt. To make matter more intense, she is dancing dangerously close to the young hero of the film, the purpose of whose existence is to tease the young girl and belt out bone bending pelvic movements at the same time. It doesn't take much to notice the anguish on Mamta'a face. You gotta be anguished when you got Mithun with you and your shirt button is missing.

Ohh mithun da without you I cant even imagine my playlist. I am you were sole represented certain communities over this country like nariyal paniwala, dalal, autowala, kanoon ka rakhwala heheheh

Hey Saala ! Teri Jaat ka paida maaru ! Mamta meri hai , kya !

The song was picturised on a well fed Mamta Kulkarni along with a clearly uncontrolled Mithun Chakraborty ,who looked as dapper as ever in his wet swept back hair. Now you know why Mamta was so terrified. On a personal note, the song left a huge dent on the contents of my skull , and taught me a lot about what to do when life presents you with a lady who has lost a button on her shirt.

~~

Hero-

Angana mein Baba , dware pe Ma Kaise aau gori , main tohre ghar maa

Heroine-

Khet gaye baba , bazaar gayi ma Akeli hu ghar maa , tu aaja saajna

(Hero-

Your dad is in the court yard; your mom is at the door

How do I enter your house, oh fair one?

Heroine-

Dad is (defecating?) in the fields, mom is in the market

I am Home alone, come in Darling)

If the previous song carefully brought out the issue of cheap buttons and improper tailoring, this song points its finger at the age old problem faced by every young couple – Parents. The song starts off on a touching note where a troubled Govinda is itching to enter the residence of a rather conservative Shilpa Shirodkar.

But at the same time, Govinda is concerned about his physical safety as he believes Shilpa's parents are at home too. As the song progresses and tightly captures the longing of Govinda, the mood is relieved when Shilpa coyly informs him that her father is in the fields and her mother has gone to the market.

In a shocking display of modernity, she not only informs but invites Govinda inside her home. What followed after his entrance his beyond the scope of this post, though of deep interest to the author of this blog. On a parallel note, I strongly believe that we should not draw our head into their personal matters . . lolzz

~~~~

"Tera kale kale lambe lambe naagin se baal ,

Dekho Ankhiyon se goli mare ladki kamaal"

(Your hair is dark dark , long long and like a cobra

Look, The fantastic girl shoot bullets from her eyes)

A trend setting number of its times, this track was the first of its kind which made a girl sound like a weapon of mass destruction. Govinda, who sported a dress which was strikingly similar to an art gallery, first compares Raveena Tandon's hair to a serpent of deadly virtues – The Cobra.

As the audience lies stunned and little babies in the hall start wailing, he proceeds to bravely declare that Raveena has the ability to fire bullets using her eyes. A totally novel and unique concept, this became a talking point across the nation and the Indian Military ranks and if this concept is implemented and we can cut down our defense budget.

So, my fellow music connoisseurs', these were just three of the gems which have offered so much to our lives, to my life. I have laughed, cried, chuckled, sobbed and done a lot of strange things listening to these songs. I hope to showcase more songs soon. But for now, just download this song from Google and enjoy "Jab tak samose mein rahega aaloo.."

Sach ka Samna

1. Pick out a scars you have, and explain how you got it.

Abey pahela hi bouncer!! Abey thodi to sharam rakho yeh public hai!! Let me think, I have a strong belief that any decent young man without a history of police encounters or public beatings should not have any scars on his 'jism' (Waise compared to the word 'body', the word 'jism' sounds as cheap as the from first row ticket of Uday Cinema Hall (ghatkopar west)). So after a prolonged examination of the wonderland that my body is, I proclaim I have no scars on my body. I know the question demands I find a scar and even talk about how I got it as if it's the world cup trophy , but then what do I do if I have no scars ? Ab blog post ke liye I won't go around and flirt with girls and get some scar on my face!! Do i?? no na . . .

2. What does your phone look like?

Whats this yaar I mean yeh to 100% girly question hai!! who screams 'Cho chweeeeeeet' everytime looks at a baby (Itni excite ka 'cho chweeet' bolti hai ki baby diaper mein susu kar deta hain). I mean, no male, unless he is under the influence of alcohol, would ask a question like "What does your phone look like?". But anyway , my phone looks like..umm..surprise...a phone!. If you are still amazed, it has a keypad and a screen too!. Nokia connecting the people. Chalo ho gaya. Ab phone ke baare mein aur kya documentary banau? Phone hai ustaad, Bombay Stock Exchange nahi hai!!

3. What is on the walls of your bedroom?

Yaar yeh sting operation paltan tho bedroom tak chale gaye . Arre miyan , shareefo ka mohalla hain yeh , ek jawan ladke ke bedroom ke baare mein poochna kahan ki sharafat hain ?

Aaj bata detein hai bass , dobara mat poochna ( Oye yeh tho chlormint ka ad ho gaya.) - I have on the walls of my bedroom the face of an AC sticking out, baba aadam ke jamane ka wall watch hai and paint hai!! Hehehe . . na koi photo nai hai . . . hehehehe

4. What is your current desktop picture?

Abhi mom gharpe hai isliye Blinking Krishna Bhagwan hai!! Agar mein akela hota tho u might have got colorful reply . . . hehehe

5. Do you believe in gay marriage?

Huh? Kya double meaning wale sawal puch rahe ho bachhe ko. "Do you believe?" I believe a marriage is a union of two minds, who then commit to tread the path of life together, facing all adversity and celebrating all joys together, and helping each other grow in the process. Gay or other wise, the essence of a marriage is unaffected by such trivial issues. Subhan allah, ekdum miss world waala answer diya na!

6. Last person who made you cry?

Rajesh Khanna . . . kal hi maine Anand dekhi thi!! Heheheh but real ans is Me. I believe no one else can make me cry . Tears arise out of what I do with the thoughts in my head. (Kaafi profound hain yeh jawaab , samajh na aye tho koi baat nahi . . kabhi kabhi mein bhi senti ho jata hoon )

7. What is your favorite perfume / cologne?

Yaar main koi Page 3-socialite-fashion designer types hoon jo itna perfume conscious hunga ? Apna 100 rupye mein axe deo lekar use karta aa raha hoon saalo se .Ladkiyan tho ad mein hee attract hoti hain. Real life mein tho sirf 'Namaste Bhaiyya' hee kehti hain who bhi dur se!!!

8. What are you listening to?

'Bol na Halke Halke' from 'Jhoom Barabar Jhoom'. The first time someone told me there is a song which goes "Bol na Halke Halke" , I thought it was about a couple of engineering students whispering answers to each other during an exam.

9. Do you get scared of the dark?

Not if there is Priyanka Chopra in the same dark room.

10. Are you too shy to ask someone out?

Hehehe . . . mein to sawal sun ke hi sharma gaya. . . . oyye hoyye!!!

11. Is anyone in love with you?

Girls, this question is for you. Aaju baaju mat dekho, baat dil ki bol do aaj.

!! 8 Things I desire in my life partner !!

While writing these 8 things in my life partner, I feel like an Adnam Sami forced to pack himself in priyanka chopra's jeans. I feel uncomfortable. I seriously think the hindustaani sarkaar is goofing up by not awarding a paramveer chakra to my mother and siblings who have managed to tolerate me for 25 years, so expecting someone to be with me for life scores a perfect ten on the optimism meter. But Mungeri Laal doesn't hold the exclusive copyright to dream. So here goes.

1. The sharmeeli Traditional girl

'Bholi si soorat , aankhon mein masti , duur khadi sharmaye – hai hai'

I first heard these lines from 'Dil to pagal hai' on my school bus. Since then, whenever I imagine my dream girl, these lines start playing in the background of my khopadi. Simple face. Minimum make up. Ek choti se bindiya . naazuk . Hair tied a choti. Yellow salwaar suit. Quiet girl. Elegant. Shy. Soft laughter. Hai main marr jaawa kuddi pe. Simply bharatiy nari remains incredibly cute. But oye sohniye , not too much shy. (13 years after shaadi)

Me (Back from office) - Knock. Knock. Oye laajwanti, darwaza khol yar, I am back.
She (softly) - Suno jee, mujhe aapke saamne aate hue shy shy feel hota hain jee.
Me (Trying to keep my voice low while the neighbours look at me curiously) - Ahem. haha. Arre darwaza khol sweetie, it's been 13 years
since our marriage now. Abb kya sharmana.
She (softly giggling now) - umm..nahi jee , mujhse nahi kiya jayega . Aapke saamne aate hi sharma jati hu main.
Me (hitting the briefcase against the door) - Teri ma ki..........

I mean, I love shyness, but I don't want to use my briefcase to enter my home everyday.


2. Her ego and dinosaurs?

Both should be dead by now. That's right; her ego should be as dead as a thief in Mike tyson's home. I don't like people who have big blue whale sized egos. She should be educated but that education should not give her ego certificate. I mean any one can earn degree by studying. she has not done any wonder or she is not last educated person on this earth "bahot aa gaye hai and bahot aayenge bhai, oopssss sorry bahen", so hang your ego in your wardrobe of your bedroom.

3. Kuch to log kahenge, logon ka kaam hai kehna. Tu bheje ki dahi mat kar.

Now that she would be married and assumingly exposed to a healthy dose of relatives, friends and family like most kutchi gujarati women, I mean there will be a lot of sound bites like 'why you both are not going out?' "ur mother in law is so khadoos!" " beware of your sister in laws" "don't you have kaamwali bai at your home" "He comes back late these days ? You should talk to 'Husband-secretary-pol khol detective agency". I don't want her to kill all those manthra's (ramayan wali re), but she should have a mind of her own to prioritize people and what they say. What most people think about me doesn't move a fingernail on me, and I hope she is kind of chilled too.

4. Tunnu munnu ke papa , chalo aaj "Angoor" dekhte hain

Kasam Madhubala's smile ki , the girl who actually laughs at amol palekar, utpal dutt, Sanjeev Kumar's brand of comedy is my kudi, because it shows she actually enjoys brain-less, 'bheja-bhool-ja' variety of antics, which gives her a clean ten extra points in my 'Kaun Banegi Meri patni' contest. In fact, I intend to ask her about this during the 'ladka ladki ek doosre ko jaan le, samajh le' stage.

Me - Hi. Have you seen 'Bheja Fry'?
She - Oh I love that one!
Me - Oh yeah. How about 'Golmaal'?
She - Uee ma . Seen that 14 times.
Me - That's so touching . Mujhse Shaadi karogi ?
She - Wow , Akshay kumar was so funny in that one .
Me - Oye Basanti, not the movie, this is a real life question. Mujhse Shaadi karogi?

5. Oh, bhaago Judge sahiba padhar rahi hai!

I write nonsense. I am not asking you, I am telling you a fact I know. Keep your mouth shut. You don't know anything's. You only keep on writing this all crap. But I write whatever I want to write, rather than what you want me to write.

Now a girl reads the stuff at this blog, thinks 'What an idiot he is', leaves a 'This is crap. And now you are in trouble' comment I mean, the girl should not consider herself the 'I am perfect', 'I will clean the system', 'How dare someone be silly' headmistress type character. Chill maar yaar. I am having my fun the way I want to, just leave me to my stupid life, Janu.

6. Thoda hain, thode ki zaroorat hain

Darling I am not ambani I am only one employee of reliance. Her life ka basic funda of happiness should match with mine. I mean I will try to fulfill her wish list but she should understand that I am not working with underworld yaar, jo har Saturday night bole, "Mona Darling, Ye haar mein sirf tumhare liye laya hoon sirf 10 lakh ka hai"

7. Aashman ko Chhune ke Asha!!

I too enjoy my work, but I need to keep the big picture in place. If the purpose of her life is to be successful in her career, picture on the cover of a business magazine, I am cool. But If she is willing to neglect herself, myself and my parents for that then I am boiling. My priorities - my parents, my siblings, a happy environment at home. Money is a pen I need to script happiness and comfort for my family. If she loves the pen more than the script, she better marry some 'aag-in-the-belly', high flying, busy business man whose kids have trouble remembering his face. Samji meri mrs CEO.

8. I have to put down one more points about the girl who shall marry me and get to say 'See that guy with the stupid face, sincere stupid, counting stars over there? He is my husband'.

But I don't really think I want to marry red lips or a rich dad in law or 'jheel see aankhein', low vest jeans, a tight top, 36-30-36, blonde
hair kind of girl because life is not a movie where I can happily drown in her eyes and feel happy forever. Zindagi mein things have to be worked out in phased manner and when I need her to understand and share my life, those red lips or pink cheeks won't exactly be a very useful thing.

So abhi bass itna hee mangta hoon hanuman ji.

Now by mistake any girl reading this post and If she think she can't handle this kind of guy for life time than please, pick up your cellphone and sms D-I-V-O-R-C-E to 80899 right now. Sms karne se kya hoga ? muje promotion milega, mere company ka revenue badega, bahenji!!

Genda Phool

Saiyaan ched dewe,
Nanad chutki leve,
Sasural genda phool.

Saas gaari deve,
Dewar samjha leve,
Sasural genda phool.

Choda babul ka angana,
Bhaave deraa piya ka ho,
Sasural genda phool.

Saiyaan hai vypaari,
Chale hain pardes,
Sooratiyaan niharu,
jiyara bhaari howe,
Sasural genda phool…

Bushirt pahine,
khayee ke bida paan,
Poore Raipur se alag hai,
Saiyaan ji ki shaan,
Sasural genda phool.

She . . .

I was busy in updating report for monthly release plan and its only 30 minutes deadline work thrown on me by ***** manager!! and suddenly

My brain teased me , " she is coming....!!!"

i said, " plz dont disturb me brainy let me do work for that buffalo"

" ohh.....she is looking damn cool yaar......beautiful " brain again teased me with his words

" achha, i couldnt resist myself any more and trying to catch her through corner of my eyes'

let her walk through diagonally opposite to my cube....i will look her" i said to my brain. (ya i am seating in a such place that i can see any girl walking around me)

and i tried to look her from corner of my eyes by taking as possible as care to avoid direct eye contact. And she came diagonally opposite to my desk and stand in confused way.

" go buddy go, talk with her... she is waiting for you " my brain advice me (utha le utha le famous

just shut up, let me look her....."she is hot yaar " i told my brain, yellow color salwar suites her most, i exclaimed as i was her dress designer!!

" abey sirf dekhta hi rahega ke kuch baat bhi karega ", brain sarcastically told me

" how do i talk with, she might be not knowing me and i dont have any purpsoe for initate talk " i gave political ans

" Be a Man shank, go and talk with her you will find topics soon sure " , brain start to motivate myself

"No Yaar, I cant she is married", i said to my brain

" abey fattu, kya ek ladki se sharma raha hai" brainy told me

oye dimag..she is not ladki now...she is now lady....A married Women, i corrected with the fact

"haan haan pata hai pata hai....3 saal se dekh raha hoon.....woh thodi tere liye wait karegi", honest comment from brain

"muje lagta hai tu fattu ka fattu hi rahega, kabhi koi milegi nai" predicting my future brainy

then i recollect famous words of Imran Khan from Jaane Tu......Jaane Na

"milegi milegi, jo meri jaisi fattu hogi, jo mujhe pasand karegi, koi na koi to hogi".....

3 Things about MySelf . . .

3 names I go by:
# Shankar
# Shank (Special Friend)
# Shanky (Closed Book)

3 things that scare me:
# Over Confidence
# Away from family
# Being emotional fool

3 people who make me laugh:
# My work
# Myself
# My siblings

3 things I love:
# My Mom
# My Siblings
# My Special Friend

3 things I hate:
# Narrow Minds
# Conspiracy
# Over Smartness

3 things I don't understand:
# Girls Mind
# Girls Mind
# Girls Mind

3 things on my desk:
# Computer
# Mobile & Charger
# Papers

3 things I'm doing right now:
# Working
# Checking Gmail, Orkutting on Mobile
# Writing this

3 things I want to do before I die:
# To fulfill my Parents every single wish
# To make people around me happy
# Write something unforgettable

3 things I can't do:
# Dance
# Fight
# Need to find out one more???

3 things I think you should listen to:
# Anyone who needs to talk
# Your self
# Your Parents

3 shows I watched as a kid:
# Dekh bhai dekh
# Vyomkesh Bakshi Detective Agent
# Mahabharat

3 things I want in a relationship:
# Love
# Courage
# Prudence/Motivation/Possessiveness

3 things about the opposite sex that appeal to me:
# Good Look
# Intelligence
# Nature

3 of my favorite Hobbies:
# Blogging/Writing/reading
# walking
# Chatting with Friends

3 things I like about myself:
# My imagination
# Willingness to do something new / I Can Attitude!!
# Ability to withstand pressure/Flexibility

3 things I hate about myself:
# Emotional Frustration
# Trusting people soon
# Over-cautious nature

3 of my everyday essentials:
# Food, water, air
# Internet
# Mobile

2 truths and a lie: (figure it out)
# I am in love
# I am happy
# I worry about almost everything.

3 things you want to tell about me
# Anyone reading this plz write three things for me.

Still 2 years to go....... (first comic attempt)

Yes, still 2 years to go…. It is statement I have eluded so many times since last two years. And now I am fed up with this statement and no more I want to say this to all but again I am saying still 2 years to go, it's so frustrating.

It happened that I was attending a socio get together by chance last Sunday. And one my uncle (I don't know who was that fellow but uncle is better word to call him) approached me and asking me about all things. He was asking me all questions so tentatively that I could make out that "daal mein kuch kaala hai" and I smelled the purpose of taking my interview on so much urgent basis.

Mein bhi kidhar piche rahene walo mein se tha, even I responded him nicely (thoda chada bada ke bol raha tha). After asking me common HR questions (about my family, my parents, siblings, surname, native place) he started 2^nd round of interview about my professional, hobbies, career scope, goals, salary package (most important) and one more very important and conclusive question (read till the end)

Its difficult to narrate each and every question in English so its better I use hinglish here (waise bhi koi padta nai hai mera blog kis mein bhi likh kya farak padta hai??)

Uncle: looking for making new friends huh??
Me: No, I already have many

Uncle: then, who you are looking for?
Me: (I just smiled)

Uncle: hmm, seems to be ready for mingle!
Me: again just smiled

Uncle: are you engaged??
Me: No, not at all. Who the hell spreading rumors!!

Uncle: Ohh thts Good, Very Good
Me: No expression (just thinking that what was so much good in that)

Uncle: so what are doing studying or working?
Me: both studying and working

Uncle: Achha, where are you working and what are you studying??
Me: (y d hell he is asking me so many questions???) I am working in RCOM and preparing for CFA

Uncle: RCOM??? Ye RCOM kaunsi company hai???
Me: Reliance Communication

Uncle: achha, jo bekar mobile bechti hai??
Me: kya? We are into telecom services
Uncle: haan pata hai kar lo duniya muthi mein wali company, Dhirubhai ka sapna sabka maal apna
Me: to

Uncle: kaam kya karte hai company mein??
Me: I am business analyst
Uncle: business ko analyst kya karma hota hai, sirf sim card to bechne hote hai
Me: (only wondering what should I say)

Uncle: ye reliance salary bahot kam deta hai
Me: (then you give me, bl***y hell)

Uncle: what's your goal? What you want to achieve?
Me: I want to be an entrepreneur
Uncle: enter prenor ye kya hai?? Koi hero hai kya???
Me: I want to do my own business
Uncle: array tere ko tera dhandha chalu karna hai aisa bol na
Me: (dhandha…well what should I say)

Uncle: what is your hobby??
Me: writing and reading blogs
Uncle: ye kaunsa game hai?? Kuch bhi timepass kar ne ka kya?? Kaam kar ne ka time pass nai
Me: (F*** O**)

Uncle: (hmm, ladka to achha hai n shaadi ke layak bhi hai) my nephew has done mbbs and now doing internship
Me: Good
Uncle: we looking for good guy like you for her
Me: (sala apna number laga raha hai) ohhh
Uncle: want to know more about her?
Me: (yes, whats her name, figure, color and of course mobile no) No thank you

Uncle: array ask, jo puch na hai puch le
Me: nai uncle (can you ask her for date??)

Uncle: so what you say?? Can I talk with your parents for marriage??
Me: still two years to go…. (Uncle's face became yellow like papaya, must be thinking that phokat ka time waste kiya)


I know it was not comedy but mein aisa hi comedy karta hoon…..its funnyyy…hahahahahahaha…..now plz smile….

Actually something I need to tell my self that from last two years I am saying still 2 years to go……. But even today after 2 years I am saying same thing because I am no near to my destiny, I don't know how much time it will take for me to reach on a path to my destiny and I want to change that statement. Again change…..it is year of change indeed for me.

I don't want to say still 2 years to go… next year also….i want this 2 become 1 and finally I committed to someone but before that there are more things to do which are on high priority for me.

So till den 2 years to go…….