transcript

"Hi"
"Hi"

"I read your blogs"
"Thanks"

"You wrote this?"
"Yes"

"It's beautiful. Is it fiction?"
"Yes. I think so."

"No, It can't be. It is full of real emotions. Can i ask you something?"
"Sure"

"For whom have you written this?? Tell me her name"
"Well, For no one"

"Come on yaar!! You can't write such a thing with your own and then tell everyone that it is fiction. It's a complete lie"
"I am telling you it's for no one"

"You know what?"
"What?"

"I have read your many blogs and i feel mature after reading it"
"Thanks"

"I can feel your emotions"
"I am glad"

"Have you shown this to her, i am sure any girl will fall for you"

"I don't think so" "Why?" "I don't think i can answer that" "I don't think i can answer that"

Food Corner @ Inorbit City Mall

Well staying near by shopping malls is always being an advantageous. You have a friends, you have many friends who always don't like to stay home in weekend, suggest you to meet them at mall. So I decided to do upkar on mall by visiting it on this weekend and meet up some friends too. But mere friends sab IST follow karne walon meine se hai jo TIME VALUE concept mein bilkul nai mante, so I land up more than hour before in mall.

So, I found myself in a pizza hut with nothing to do over the next hour . I settled down at a corner table, plugged in my headphones, ordered a little something and casually looked around. Being an Analyst, I have to develop this inborn tendency to analyse a sneeze, so I used that hour to categorise the type of crowd that visits mall.

1. The loud and happy "hum saath saath hain" family
Wah Kya family hai. From Grandfather to Grandchildren everyone is there to have a fun. Now thoda detail mein jata hoon bowing respect to ladies of that family. Saas of that family was ditto to ditto matching with the Ekta Kapoor's serial saas. Silk pallu - scorpion bindi-saas murdering brigade of women, this breed is soon going to be listed with the "Akhil Bhartiya endangered species protection board". Everybody looks happy here, Daddy get to looks new chicks around the mall, Mummy is satisfied as she got chance to do shopping, kids are happy because they know that in spite of their dad looks so outrageous, he is going to order ice cream after pizza. This is one of the more noisy tables of the hut. In case it is a joint family, frequent peals of laughter accompanied by table slapping is evident. In case it is a sardaar joint family, frequent peals of roaring laughter accompanied by table upturning slapping is evident.

2. The coochie coochie "Kuch Kuch hota hain" couple

This is the karan johar sponsored couple which is usually a boyfriend-girlfriend combo pack. Just married couple who are yet to fall in the where-is-my-shirt-you-pick-kids-from-school' trap of married life may also qualify here.

They prefer to sit in remote corners of the hut, They sit as close as siamese twins , may eat from the same plate and the only time their hands are not holding each other's body parts is when they are holding spoons or forks. They don't laugh the typical 'Navjot singh sidhu' brand of loaring laughter. It is more like twittering accompanied by whispering into ears. In short, both of them are in complete bliss. For the guy, bliss ends much earlier, when the waiter brings the bill.

3. The "shehar ki ladki" tribe

The table which challenges every sound barrier with its shrieking and excited occupants. High school girls maybe. Even college girls, if they are slightly low on maturity. Usually, there is an occasion, which usually is the birthday of one of those ladies. Shrill and sharp pizza-toppling cries of 'wowwwwwwwwwwwwww', 'Howww chweeeeeeeeeeeet', 'Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww' escape from this gang. A lot of ribbons , gifts and greeting cards may also be passed around , leading to delight of the birthday girl and a certain archies gallery owner and obviously interest of all guys was on that table.

4. The "kya kool hai hum" boys

This is the symmetrical opposite of all above 3 category. But boys are boys, they sounds highly unsophisticated and much more unrestrained in terms of their colorful vocabulary. 'Abbe ******, pizza kaunsa mangwaye?', 'Ganguly to G**** hain', '**** ***', 'Check her out', 'abey teri chaavi (mumbai language for gf) se baat karun kya?', 'teri maa ki ankh' are some examples suitable for an above 18 audience. Their table manners are in urgent need of upgradation. Any delay in getting the food on table may lead to heated reactions by these boys, unless there is enough of category 3 around to keep their minds off food. The payment is the most tense and crucial moment, when frequent references to previous 'saale-tujhe-mere-200-dene-hai-pehle-ke' 'abey lend me 50 bugs now' 'mere tu bhar de'.

5. The "na tum bolo na hum" couple

I am really confused about this variety. I mean, if a man and a woman don't want to talk, what kinda gunpoint threat got them together at mall? And what kind of gf & bf who don't even talk with eachother. Amen I wish I could have gf who just hate to speak . . hehehe These people avoid eye contact with each other, smile with the comfort of a nun in a nightclub and keep looking out of the nearest window with the classical philosphical expression. The most elaborate conversations they strike up are about the temperature of the soup, which last for about thirteen seconds, including the sighs and coughs.

6. The 'tanha tanha yahan pe jeena' organism

Primarily, This category excatly suits myself. These are people in wait for their friends/girlfriends/boyfriends/blind dates/dates who can see. The waiters eye them suspiciously, clearly distressed by the person's sipping a single coke over the last forty minutes. The fellow passes his time by sipping the drink with the hurry of a super slow motion vision stump camera, blows bubbles in the glass , spends time by memorising every name in the menu card, or just looking at other people.

Well there is some more people who don't fit any above category, about them will write some other day. Chill maar yaar. Have a good day!!

!! Google Devta ki Jai ho !!

Yeah Yeah Yeah. I am happy. Not that I have been made the CFO, that would take some time (centuries?), I am afraid. But I am happy because things moved along quite a bit today as far as my CFA level 2 books are concerned. I had been googling and regoogling and reregoogling stuff on the internet, and today finally i stumbled onto a pretty useful site. Infact, on a philosophical note, the more I live life, the more I become aware of the importance of "Google" in supporting the human race.

Well remembering my college days, where when we guys were on the brink of a nervous breakdown making our engineering final year project, it was "google devta" which came to our rescue. We downloaded a decent amount of code from the net and ended up making something which we still have got no clue about. At the Office, google is more used than any financial or economic model ever devised. Be it a document on the SDLC, a handbook on Business Analyst, or an Interview stuff, every burning need has the one and only Lord Google to satisfy it.

And not only the professional life, google has had a pretty divine imprint on the personal aspects of my life too. I still remember that when I was a nervous 16 year old ( or was it 14), I typed down "Play Boy" on the sacred google bar, leading to a very informative and educational online session. Then there was the sunny afternoon in my first 21+ summer vacation, when a frustrated 21 year old, tired of carrying around the "single-ready to mingle" tag line, angrily punched in "how to get a girlfriend" on google's website. I still occasionally google the names of girls I had a crush on in my short lifetime, hoping to find them somewhere, with the combination of being a happy and teary reunion, with the girl telling me how much she admired me secretly . . lolz

Impact of google on young generation is much more than parents, teachers, employer and friends. From making people as social animal to present their thoughts on the blog. Everything is what google do. From make off to break off, from delivering baby to divorcing, from trace to trade, from learn to earn, from patriotic movie to 'A' movie everything is what google do. So what to tell you about google nothing except google devta ki jai.

But even our newtonic genie called google fails at times. Recently, I had to find out about the my native place TERA. So i googled about it, but it so conspired that I ended up reading "TERA mujse ye pahele ka nata nahi . . . jaane tu ya jane na". But this can be classified as an off day for google, the knight in the shiny armour for students, engineers, summer trainees, sex maniacs, parted lovers around the planet, employees, etc

So bolo Google Devta ki Jai !!

Filmy Dialogues !!

Now you all people will think ke ye achanak se filmy dialogue ke upar kya post likhega but hold on before thinking ahead just think that we all have been grew up during the era of movies when Kimi Kaatkar was identified as the epitome of Feminine Elegance, and seven out of ten movies involved kids who watched their 'ImaanDaar' parents murdered from behind Huge Flower Pots and grew up to murder the killers after several years of scouting Bus Stops and Dance Bars for them. I mean, you get the idea of the era, yeah?

So, shuru karein bakar , lekar Kaamdev ka Naam ( Abbe! Kaamdev is a type of Bhagwan jo aapke kaam ko jagaya rakhta hai, maine internet par pada hai !)

1. "Main tumhare Bacche ki Ma Banne wali hoon"

I first heard this statement during one of the movies, when I was six. I vaguely

Remember some demure Gaon Ki Gori saying this to Ranjeet (pata nai kitne bachho ka baap hoga), who, obviously, had this roving eye and tried to grab anything which showed any movement

At that age, I had no idea what that meant, and I instinctively thought, "Tumhara Baccha? But babies to God ke hotein hai na?"

As I grew up, I think I have heard this statement being said to men such as Pran, Prem chopra, Sadashiv Amrapurkar, Amrish Puri (On more than three occasions), and Shakti Kapoor. Obviously, every time, the reply is "Gira Do", but now days you don't find such dialogues because now every girl is aware of i-Pill . . heheheh

2. "Kutte Kaminey mein tera khoon pi jaunga"

Kasam dharma pa ji ki . . kya dialogue hai ye . . well I have been listening this dialogue from day when I was out from my moma's womb. What a dialogue it is!! Kutte kaminey mein tera khoon pi jaunga!!! Wah wah . . salla aur kuch nai mila pine ko jo khun piyega Dracula . .

But this was one of the well respected dialogues from our film industry. The way Dharam pa ji has played this dialogue awesome man!!

3. "Tumhari Ma aur Behan Mere Kabze mein hai"

Now, I really think all the mothers and sisters of that era, went around tapping all the bad guys on their shoulders, smiling coyly, and whispering "Hey Handsome, wanna kidnap me, eh?"

How else can I explain that towards the end of almost every movie, the bad guy called up the Hero on his landline (It's the pre 1991 era dude, don't expect a cellphone), and informs him that his White Clad Mother and Young College Going Sister have been kidnapped and have been comfortably chained between thick pillars at some abandoned remains of some Haveli.

I mean, Yeh Ma aur Behan hamesha Kidnapping ke liye available kaise rehti thi?? Kissi ko pata ho to plz comment here I want know that how and why?? hehehe

4. "You are under arrest"

This used to the director's signal, ki bhaiyya, the movie is about to end, please plan to gather your water bottles, chip bags, kids, and move out the cinema hall before the exit gets too crowded. In short, Inspector saab and his gang of Brown Shorts wale Hawaldaars have barged into the final fight scene, have pointed their cheap, Holi Wali pistols at the baddies, and the Inspector Saab has quipped the line which is the dream statement of every policeman who has ever walked this planet – "You are under arrest". The only scene which could possibly follow this statement was a shot of the Hero and Heroine kissing under an Overgrown Pink Flower with "Happily ever after…." Written at the bottom of the screen.

5. "Main Teri Asli Ma Nahi hoon , Beta"

If there was ever a phase when non-biological mothers flourished, this was it. Kids swapped at the local hospitals, kids left crying on the stairs to the century old Shiv Mandir, little babies found squealing in trash bins, you name the way to find a kid who is not yours, and it was in there .

The mother raised the kid, made her do his homework, combed his hair, taught him how to ride the tricycle, and then watch him grow into a fine young man. But then, as she gets older and older, and as she finally reaches her deathbed, she calls the young man, looks at him lovingly, and with the heart breaking mix of love and guilt, murmurs, "Main Teri Asli Ma Nahi hoon, Beta"

The hero sits stunned, not knowing what to say, except maybe "Shit! Does that mean I don't get all that property you have?"

Ok, you know the hero doesn't say that yaar. Movie hai. Hero Accha Banda hai.

To be Continued …( Abbe, TV Serial mein 'To be continued' nahi dekhta ?)

Baad mein aur likhunga Bhai. And haan, you contribute whatever you can think of. I love interactive blogging! Sabse bura dialogue likhne wale ko milega unlimited stay at his own house . . hehehe . . koi sponsor nai hai doston so you all can understand!!

My Long Lost Song Playlist

After almost 18 months I got my PC working and being into this long weekend I decided to renew my playlist on my system. So I delved into my hard disk, into folders that had been long forgotten, lying untouched since ages like your good old books which lies dumped in the shelve once you grow up.

Folders that had been lying embedded deep in the disk like abandoned Umrao Jaan (my fav Rekha ji). Some of the hidden folders which only bachelor guy can find out (well don't tell to my mom it's in E drive-program files-file submit-folder lock- software-new folder, even james bond might have found difficult to find out those movies . . .heheheh) but well this post is about my playlist so doston kaunsi kaunsi movie phir kabhi bataunga.

Now I was looking into my songs and a found a folder that contained songs which once made my heart dance like a drunken monkey who just left alone in the house. So I rediscovered some old classic songs which were once played at every tea shop in this country.

Songs which define the times I grew up in a mid 90's. songs which contained the gut wrenching grief of a lost love, the cute joy of a blossoming love, the mischievous naughtiness of a lover's wink. Songs which embodied the emotions, which fill the developing heart of every Indian boy when he is growing up. Songs which have made many hero and heroine a star. So ladies, gentlemen and Bobby Darlings, not wishing that these gems ,which have played such an important role in the making of this sophisticated, refined and tasteful young generation go unrecorded on this blog , I give to you, a few of these life changing creations.

"Kahan Gir Gaya Dhoondho Sajan Button meri kurti ka"

English translation, for the benefit of my overseas readers (Yes, I have many visitors from US. A girl from Oman visits sometimes, too.)

(Where has it fallen, please search Darling, The button of my shirt)

This extremely naughty and imaginative song sensitively captured the anxiety and terror of a young girl who, due to a unskilled tailor who used a cheap thread, has lost a very crucially located button on her shirt. To make matter more intense, she is dancing dangerously close to the young hero of the film, the purpose of whose existence is to tease the young girl and belt out bone bending pelvic movements at the same time. It doesn't take much to notice the anguish on Mamta'a face. You gotta be anguished when you got Mithun with you and your shirt button is missing.

Ohh mithun da without you I cant even imagine my playlist. I am you were sole represented certain communities over this country like nariyal paniwala, dalal, autowala, kanoon ka rakhwala heheheh

Hey Saala ! Teri Jaat ka paida maaru ! Mamta meri hai , kya !

The song was picturised on a well fed Mamta Kulkarni along with a clearly uncontrolled Mithun Chakraborty ,who looked as dapper as ever in his wet swept back hair. Now you know why Mamta was so terrified. On a personal note, the song left a huge dent on the contents of my skull , and taught me a lot about what to do when life presents you with a lady who has lost a button on her shirt.

~~

Hero-

Angana mein Baba , dware pe Ma Kaise aau gori , main tohre ghar maa

Heroine-

Khet gaye baba , bazaar gayi ma Akeli hu ghar maa , tu aaja saajna

(Hero-

Your dad is in the court yard; your mom is at the door

How do I enter your house, oh fair one?

Heroine-

Dad is (defecating?) in the fields, mom is in the market

I am Home alone, come in Darling)

If the previous song carefully brought out the issue of cheap buttons and improper tailoring, this song points its finger at the age old problem faced by every young couple – Parents. The song starts off on a touching note where a troubled Govinda is itching to enter the residence of a rather conservative Shilpa Shirodkar.

But at the same time, Govinda is concerned about his physical safety as he believes Shilpa's parents are at home too. As the song progresses and tightly captures the longing of Govinda, the mood is relieved when Shilpa coyly informs him that her father is in the fields and her mother has gone to the market.

In a shocking display of modernity, she not only informs but invites Govinda inside her home. What followed after his entrance his beyond the scope of this post, though of deep interest to the author of this blog. On a parallel note, I strongly believe that we should not draw our head into their personal matters . . lolzz

~~~~

"Tera kale kale lambe lambe naagin se baal ,

Dekho Ankhiyon se goli mare ladki kamaal"

(Your hair is dark dark , long long and like a cobra

Look, The fantastic girl shoot bullets from her eyes)

A trend setting number of its times, this track was the first of its kind which made a girl sound like a weapon of mass destruction. Govinda, who sported a dress which was strikingly similar to an art gallery, first compares Raveena Tandon's hair to a serpent of deadly virtues – The Cobra.

As the audience lies stunned and little babies in the hall start wailing, he proceeds to bravely declare that Raveena has the ability to fire bullets using her eyes. A totally novel and unique concept, this became a talking point across the nation and the Indian Military ranks and if this concept is implemented and we can cut down our defense budget.

So, my fellow music connoisseurs', these were just three of the gems which have offered so much to our lives, to my life. I have laughed, cried, chuckled, sobbed and done a lot of strange things listening to these songs. I hope to showcase more songs soon. But for now, just download this song from Google and enjoy "Jab tak samose mein rahega aaloo.."

Sach ka Samna

1. Pick out a scars you have, and explain how you got it.

Abey pahela hi bouncer!! Abey thodi to sharam rakho yeh public hai!! Let me think, I have a strong belief that any decent young man without a history of police encounters or public beatings should not have any scars on his 'jism' (Waise compared to the word 'body', the word 'jism' sounds as cheap as the from first row ticket of Uday Cinema Hall (ghatkopar west)). So after a prolonged examination of the wonderland that my body is, I proclaim I have no scars on my body. I know the question demands I find a scar and even talk about how I got it as if it's the world cup trophy , but then what do I do if I have no scars ? Ab blog post ke liye I won't go around and flirt with girls and get some scar on my face!! Do i?? no na . . .

2. What does your phone look like?

Whats this yaar I mean yeh to 100% girly question hai!! who screams 'Cho chweeeeeeet' everytime looks at a baby (Itni excite ka 'cho chweeet' bolti hai ki baby diaper mein susu kar deta hain). I mean, no male, unless he is under the influence of alcohol, would ask a question like "What does your phone look like?". But anyway , my phone looks like..umm..surprise...a phone!. If you are still amazed, it has a keypad and a screen too!. Nokia connecting the people. Chalo ho gaya. Ab phone ke baare mein aur kya documentary banau? Phone hai ustaad, Bombay Stock Exchange nahi hai!!

3. What is on the walls of your bedroom?

Yaar yeh sting operation paltan tho bedroom tak chale gaye . Arre miyan , shareefo ka mohalla hain yeh , ek jawan ladke ke bedroom ke baare mein poochna kahan ki sharafat hain ?

Aaj bata detein hai bass , dobara mat poochna ( Oye yeh tho chlormint ka ad ho gaya.) - I have on the walls of my bedroom the face of an AC sticking out, baba aadam ke jamane ka wall watch hai and paint hai!! Hehehe . . na koi photo nai hai . . . hehehehe

4. What is your current desktop picture?

Abhi mom gharpe hai isliye Blinking Krishna Bhagwan hai!! Agar mein akela hota tho u might have got colorful reply . . . hehehe

5. Do you believe in gay marriage?

Huh? Kya double meaning wale sawal puch rahe ho bachhe ko. "Do you believe?" I believe a marriage is a union of two minds, who then commit to tread the path of life together, facing all adversity and celebrating all joys together, and helping each other grow in the process. Gay or other wise, the essence of a marriage is unaffected by such trivial issues. Subhan allah, ekdum miss world waala answer diya na!

6. Last person who made you cry?

Rajesh Khanna . . . kal hi maine Anand dekhi thi!! Heheheh but real ans is Me. I believe no one else can make me cry . Tears arise out of what I do with the thoughts in my head. (Kaafi profound hain yeh jawaab , samajh na aye tho koi baat nahi . . kabhi kabhi mein bhi senti ho jata hoon )

7. What is your favorite perfume / cologne?

Yaar main koi Page 3-socialite-fashion designer types hoon jo itna perfume conscious hunga ? Apna 100 rupye mein axe deo lekar use karta aa raha hoon saalo se .Ladkiyan tho ad mein hee attract hoti hain. Real life mein tho sirf 'Namaste Bhaiyya' hee kehti hain who bhi dur se!!!

8. What are you listening to?

'Bol na Halke Halke' from 'Jhoom Barabar Jhoom'. The first time someone told me there is a song which goes "Bol na Halke Halke" , I thought it was about a couple of engineering students whispering answers to each other during an exam.

9. Do you get scared of the dark?

Not if there is Priyanka Chopra in the same dark room.

10. Are you too shy to ask someone out?

Hehehe . . . mein to sawal sun ke hi sharma gaya. . . . oyye hoyye!!!

11. Is anyone in love with you?

Girls, this question is for you. Aaju baaju mat dekho, baat dil ki bol do aaj.

Will You Marry Me?? I don’t think so!!

Hey, look your hair beta. They are covering your ears. They trap dust and pollens. They hold sweat. They keep the air from getting to the scalp. All this can cause a lot of medical complications. And ya with this hair tell me, "kounsi ladki tumse shaadi karegi?"

And when all this is said in a cold, technical, documentary, scary voice, and that too by a man who has brought you on this earth and still controls your expenses, your many future decisions, you have no choice but to appreciate how important a haircut is. So when dad "asked" me to get a haircut, I got a haircut by donating my hair and 30 bugs to Maruti Saloon (Air condition)

The barber was religiously follower of all cricket matches, and more than my hair cut he was wrenchingly interested in the ashes series on the star cricket as he swiped scissors around my head and looking into TV where Australians batting like a brunch of grandmothers wasn't helping his mood. I was particularly scared when he mouthed "Saalo kee gardan kaatni chahiye" and picked up the razor to work on me.

------------
It is such close shaves with death which help one appreciate how precious life is. When it ended, I ran back to home and hugged my mom. I swear I will never go to any saloon when any cricket match is going on.

The weekend at home was chatting with ma while I sat on the kitchen floor, telling dad I do have future plans but I do not know what they are, but there are certainly, sachhi mein pa!! Suddenly my dad was staring me and what came out was a slip with this written on it - "beta, what are your wedding plans?" (beta, shaaadeee wadeeee ka kya socha hai ?)

To be honest, my only responsibility till now has been to study, to complete my assignments in office, to pay my EMI dues on time and to come back home in the evening and help mom up to some extent, and since I am coming late now, even the last have gone missing. But "life mein twist" will come soon enough.

If responsibility is war, marriage is the America's responsibility. If responsibility is money, marriage is the RBI's responsibility. If responsibility is salary, marriage is my employer's responsibilities. To my under developed brain, marriage is a state of the art, cutting edge, ultimate responsibility.

And even though I am just 25, the 25 number was mouthed around millions times by my parents during last month. As per reliable sources, a couple of aunts and uncles trying to hijack my freedom with some of their dur ke ristedaar. They have been bringing in some wedding proposals for me. I read in the newspaper about Chhota Rajan being a diploma holder in kidnappings. I searched "how to contact Chhota Rajan for getting a few of them kidnapped" on Google. Not much information so far.

If by mistake some girl ready and when I do marry, it's like a responsibility of keeping someone happy for life. If some girl leaves her home, parents, family, neighbors, pet dogs and boyfriends obviously to marry me and come to my home, it is automatically becomes my responsibility to keep her happy. I have seen hindi movies. I have seen that the elders leave the boy and the girl "alone" for some time so that "wo ek doosre ko jaaan le, pehchaaan le, samajh le". I will try my best to warn her about how sincere stupid I can be, and I will tell her about her too. But asking me to understand a girl in such a short time makes giving a bath to a crocodile looks easy, including soaping its back. And like I do not expect to know her completely, she won't know me.

And at a later stage, she may find that I am not serious even at her uncle's condolence meeting, that I like to watch rajnikant movies, and insist that she watches it too, that I hate attending her dad's brother's daughter's son's engagement, that I look at the ceiling fan when her uncle asks me about why reliance charge him so much in call, that I watch Tom and Jerry with my kids when I should be making them study, that I am perfectly incapable of holding any intellectually stimulating discussions with her, and all this may leave her feeling cheated for life. Don't you think??

And even if I ever need someone, I need someone who thinks it's perfectly human to talk with yourself; someone who appreciates reading books freely at nearby mall, and may even like to do window shopping. Someone who thinks bliss is a silly little evening with me, no outings. Someone who is not irritated if I narrate all my blogs 35 times in a month. Someone who doesn't run away if I tell her the latest dialogues I picked up from the last hindi flick I watched. Someone who doesn't act like some comet hit our home when I forget to wish her birthday consecutive years. In short, I need a girl as sincere stupid and dumb as me, and like stupid and dumb people.

And considering how incompletely a boy knows a girl when the marriage happens, I do not want to go ahead with a responsibility I am not sure I can fulfill. I do not want some girl to marry me and then discover she needed someone more civilized and refined and social. I do not want the girl to feel that she is the unluckiest wife on this planet, along with Hillary Clinton maybe. If you think Hillary Clinton is not so unlucky, try managing someone like Bill Clinton with monica levensky.

So I really need Google to help me to publish my post. So any girl thinks for me can read this post and when she meet with me, that time she shouldn't think that how GOD can make such mistakes. So Google, you can save a girl's life.

So what you think??

hahahahahah . . . .

My Girl Friend, Basanti !!

I am young, a youth member of this rising economy but I am not social economist, not a social activist who stand with megha patkar, I am not a intellectual liberated youth instance who sips coffee and holds an opinion on everything from "Rakhi Sawant ka swyamwar" to indo-pak on Baluchistan issue and to double India's GDP over night. Actually I am a simple guy with views as superficial as John Abraham's acting skills and my understanding of social trends runs as short as the skirt of the kareena kapoor in kambakt ishq. But lately, I am beginning to notice the subtle extermination of a rather happy social species - The Single male

Having a girlfriend says two things about a guy

1. On a look index, guy ranks somewhere between Hrithik and Shahrukh
2. On a financial index, guy ranks somewhere between two ambani brothers

Not having a girlfriend also says two things about a guy

1. He is a gay.
2. He is definitely a gay.

Array yaar kuch to sharam kar, Abu Salem ki bhi girl friend hai and Mika, uski to do-do girlfriend hai. I mean Guys who aren't even close to respecting a woman have girlfriends. Its seems that every one is going around now days.

And this social development confuses me and poses an intriguing question - When everyone around me is "going around" , and I am single, and not gay, why do I feel a girlfriend is a pretty ( or not-so-pretty) friend who eats up personal independence and hikes up phone bills? To make things more rational, let me imagine I have a girlfriend, whom I shall call Basanti as a mark of respect to dream girl (Dharam pa ki) Hema Ji.

Now let me see how 'going around' with Basanti can dent my life.

1. "Kis se baat kar raha tha?"

Basanti calls me up and finds my number to be busy. Basanti again calls me up after 1 min and 37 seconds again finds my number to be busy. She can't wait any more she again calls me up after exactly 43 sec And even though she heard the pre recorded Reliance voice says "The number you are trying to call is currently busy. Please try after some time", but Basanti hears "The guy you are trying to call up is highly cheap. He is talking to Shruti (kaun hai ye bhai??) right now and is expressing is undying love to her. He may claim he was talking to his mother. Don't trust him."

Soon after I disconnect the call to maaaa, Basanti calls me up and before I can say a hello, yells a "Go to Hell! And take Shruti along with you!" shattering my eardrum. The insecurity of Basanti. Sigh.

2."Wo kurti bhi pack kar deejiye and wo salwar bhi"

So it is second anniversary of the day me and Basanti first had sms each other and she expects a gift. It's not just a gift, but a sweet 'nishani' which carries the perfumed memories of that lovely day, she says. So I go over to the Palm Beach gallery and searched everything in girls compartment, while in my single days, I would have spent the same time watching CNBC. After a couple of hours, I finally buy a pink kurti which costs me more than the price from which I can come back from goa. All the gifts a Basanti demands/requests/expects.Sigh.

3. Sniff. Sniff.

A fine lazy Sunday afternoon. I lie on the couch flipping between ESPN and HBO. The phone rings.

Me: "hello?"
Basanti: "Sniff. Sniff."
Me: "Abbe kaun hai? agle saal bolega kya?".
Basanti: "Sniff. It's me, calling from my friend's mobile, Basanti. Sniff.".
Me: "Oh ok. You have a cold?"
Basanti: "I am....crying. sob sob.."
Me: "Oh. It sounded just like a running nose though. And I saw Kambakt Ishq yesterday. The movie was so much terrible that even the chairs wanted to leave the hall." I decided to change the topic....as soon as i realized flood is coming my way....and she interrupted
Basanti: "You will never understand...sniff...sniff..."

The "emotional intelligence" and "understanding" a Basanti needs from me. Sigh.

4. "Mouth close karke kha!"

Me and Basanti are digging into a Grill Sandwich at the corner. While trying to balance a sandwich slice on its journey from the tray to my mouth, a particularly big onion piece slides off its surface and lands on the table with a plop.

Basanti: "Chee. Theek se kha na. Table manners!"

I scoop up the onion piece from the table with my finger put it in my mouth and say cheerfully:

"Table manners gaye bihar , sandwich khane de yaar"

Basanti: "Sheesh. You are disgusting".

While in my single days I could have asked for extra sauce and chatani to make the overall cost of the sandwich little bit lower and chew as noisily as a i never seen it before, now I need to take care I don't embarrass the great manners ki dukaan, Basanti . The silly changes a Basanti demands from me. Sigh.

5. "Five missed calls and seventeen mails"

Sorry for the abrupt speed breaker, but chal wapas real world mein aa jata hoon. Actually I am in office but so much scared with the thoughts of Basanti that I couldn't recognize call and mails.

Hiaaalllaaaa…….three miss calls from my manager……F***

About Basanti, I have around 197 more points I can write against her. But still, saara zamaana, girlfriend's ka deewana, so there must be something good about Basanti. Just that I don't see it.

!! 8 Things I desire in my life partner !!

While writing these 8 things in my life partner, I feel like an Adnam Sami forced to pack himself in priyanka chopra's jeans. I feel uncomfortable. I seriously think the hindustaani sarkaar is goofing up by not awarding a paramveer chakra to my mother and siblings who have managed to tolerate me for 25 years, so expecting someone to be with me for life scores a perfect ten on the optimism meter. But Mungeri Laal doesn't hold the exclusive copyright to dream. So here goes.

1. The sharmeeli Traditional girl

'Bholi si soorat , aankhon mein masti , duur khadi sharmaye – hai hai'

I first heard these lines from 'Dil to pagal hai' on my school bus. Since then, whenever I imagine my dream girl, these lines start playing in the background of my khopadi. Simple face. Minimum make up. Ek choti se bindiya . naazuk . Hair tied a choti. Yellow salwaar suit. Quiet girl. Elegant. Shy. Soft laughter. Hai main marr jaawa kuddi pe. Simply bharatiy nari remains incredibly cute. But oye sohniye , not too much shy. (13 years after shaadi)

Me (Back from office) - Knock. Knock. Oye laajwanti, darwaza khol yar, I am back.
She (softly) - Suno jee, mujhe aapke saamne aate hue shy shy feel hota hain jee.
Me (Trying to keep my voice low while the neighbours look at me curiously) - Ahem. haha. Arre darwaza khol sweetie, it's been 13 years
since our marriage now. Abb kya sharmana.
She (softly giggling now) - umm..nahi jee , mujhse nahi kiya jayega . Aapke saamne aate hi sharma jati hu main.
Me (hitting the briefcase against the door) - Teri ma ki..........

I mean, I love shyness, but I don't want to use my briefcase to enter my home everyday.


2. Her ego and dinosaurs?

Both should be dead by now. That's right; her ego should be as dead as a thief in Mike tyson's home. I don't like people who have big blue whale sized egos. She should be educated but that education should not give her ego certificate. I mean any one can earn degree by studying. she has not done any wonder or she is not last educated person on this earth "bahot aa gaye hai and bahot aayenge bhai, oopssss sorry bahen", so hang your ego in your wardrobe of your bedroom.

3. Kuch to log kahenge, logon ka kaam hai kehna. Tu bheje ki dahi mat kar.

Now that she would be married and assumingly exposed to a healthy dose of relatives, friends and family like most kutchi gujarati women, I mean there will be a lot of sound bites like 'why you both are not going out?' "ur mother in law is so khadoos!" " beware of your sister in laws" "don't you have kaamwali bai at your home" "He comes back late these days ? You should talk to 'Husband-secretary-pol khol detective agency". I don't want her to kill all those manthra's (ramayan wali re), but she should have a mind of her own to prioritize people and what they say. What most people think about me doesn't move a fingernail on me, and I hope she is kind of chilled too.

4. Tunnu munnu ke papa , chalo aaj "Angoor" dekhte hain

Kasam Madhubala's smile ki , the girl who actually laughs at amol palekar, utpal dutt, Sanjeev Kumar's brand of comedy is my kudi, because it shows she actually enjoys brain-less, 'bheja-bhool-ja' variety of antics, which gives her a clean ten extra points in my 'Kaun Banegi Meri patni' contest. In fact, I intend to ask her about this during the 'ladka ladki ek doosre ko jaan le, samajh le' stage.

Me - Hi. Have you seen 'Bheja Fry'?
She - Oh I love that one!
Me - Oh yeah. How about 'Golmaal'?
She - Uee ma . Seen that 14 times.
Me - That's so touching . Mujhse Shaadi karogi ?
She - Wow , Akshay kumar was so funny in that one .
Me - Oye Basanti, not the movie, this is a real life question. Mujhse Shaadi karogi?

5. Oh, bhaago Judge sahiba padhar rahi hai!

I write nonsense. I am not asking you, I am telling you a fact I know. Keep your mouth shut. You don't know anything's. You only keep on writing this all crap. But I write whatever I want to write, rather than what you want me to write.

Now a girl reads the stuff at this blog, thinks 'What an idiot he is', leaves a 'This is crap. And now you are in trouble' comment I mean, the girl should not consider herself the 'I am perfect', 'I will clean the system', 'How dare someone be silly' headmistress type character. Chill maar yaar. I am having my fun the way I want to, just leave me to my stupid life, Janu.

6. Thoda hain, thode ki zaroorat hain

Darling I am not ambani I am only one employee of reliance. Her life ka basic funda of happiness should match with mine. I mean I will try to fulfill her wish list but she should understand that I am not working with underworld yaar, jo har Saturday night bole, "Mona Darling, Ye haar mein sirf tumhare liye laya hoon sirf 10 lakh ka hai"

7. Aashman ko Chhune ke Asha!!

I too enjoy my work, but I need to keep the big picture in place. If the purpose of her life is to be successful in her career, picture on the cover of a business magazine, I am cool. But If she is willing to neglect herself, myself and my parents for that then I am boiling. My priorities - my parents, my siblings, a happy environment at home. Money is a pen I need to script happiness and comfort for my family. If she loves the pen more than the script, she better marry some 'aag-in-the-belly', high flying, busy business man whose kids have trouble remembering his face. Samji meri mrs CEO.

8. I have to put down one more points about the girl who shall marry me and get to say 'See that guy with the stupid face, sincere stupid, counting stars over there? He is my husband'.

But I don't really think I want to marry red lips or a rich dad in law or 'jheel see aankhein', low vest jeans, a tight top, 36-30-36, blonde
hair kind of girl because life is not a movie where I can happily drown in her eyes and feel happy forever. Zindagi mein things have to be worked out in phased manner and when I need her to understand and share my life, those red lips or pink cheeks won't exactly be a very useful thing.

So abhi bass itna hee mangta hoon hanuman ji.

Now by mistake any girl reading this post and If she think she can't handle this kind of guy for life time than please, pick up your cellphone and sms D-I-V-O-R-C-E to 80899 right now. Sms karne se kya hoga ? muje promotion milega, mere company ka revenue badega, bahenji!!

No Bakwass Only Seedhi Baat !!

• I have ended some 'relations' . I know it's cruel , but I need to end what's not working out , atleast for me. It was draining me out and leading down an alley which has to have an end. I know I am being bad by cutting off from it . Makes me a not-so-nice guy. But if you want to save the baby from Hepatitis B , you need to stick a needle in his bottoms . What other analogy do you expect from me where i have couple of friends who are so called "DOCTOR"

• I am trying to transform myself into a workaholic . The types who sips coffee in the office when all the other ones have left for dinner. Have taken a total of 10 days off officially from last 2 years. Monday is no more a scary day . But I like working it helps me to forget many things.

• I regret not helping my niece who wanted to draw a picture in her drawing book. I said I will help out , then totally lost track of that . If they had a record for the number of promises broken , my picture would be in the Guiness Book . Front cover . Full color.

• I have stopped using my playlist on my mobile . I like the radio more . More unpredictable . More talkative. More Live

• I love my family more than anything and will stab for them . A female colleague at my office called me a mama's boy when she heard me saying "mummy, Will leave office in 10 minutes" on phone . I said "Yeah , I am a mama's boy . I love my mom . Will love her through out my life." I actually said that . If you ever needed to understand what a stunned woman looks like , you should have been there .

• Why does everybody in the conference room laugh when the big Momma ( My Reporting Manager ) cracks an intended joke ? I did not find it funny . A funeral is more funny than his joke was . But the guy on my left slapped the table twice and roared . Another one could not stop giggling for a complete forty seconds . I mean , was it in the terms and agreement when they joined ?

• Some time ago , a friend of mine , who seems to be a male from what I know of him , commented that I am a nice and lovable person . I still have not decided if that is to be classified as a compliment or a gayish attempt at molestation . Pls make a Ban on IPC 377 rule.

• Three years of corporate world . And I am almost into the habit of thinking in bullets . I think i will not surprised to see some more bullet points in my marriage invitation card.

• And yes my results will be out on 28th July, So Fatti padi hai!! Pray for Me plss!!

• Thanks For reading my bakwass, oopss sorry, Seedhi baat. Clear Hai!!

My Little Brown Covered English Essay Book – 5th Standard

I was scavenging my all old stuff, don't know how I built that habit of preserving all the stuff which I know of not use for sure, but this time I found a little brown book

Name: Shankar Bhanushali
Std: 5^th
Class: A
Subject: English Essay Book

I picked up small double line 100 pages English Essay Book and set aside my bedroom to revive those memories of childhood.

I was souring down the book, index page, my grades B, B+ , A, A+, B , B , A , and I hold on a page where I had wrote essay on I will . . .

I will respect my parents
I will respect my teachers
I will respect my elders
I will help poor's
I will serve my country
I will say the truth.
I will be a good human beeng.

.

It was mid nineties, rainy days, a classroom having Black board corrupted from right side with the broken duster, two ceiling fans making enough noise to keep awake all students, a blinking surya tube light, A Fat lady teacher with thick plastic rimmed glasses perched on her nose stands facing a class of nine year olds, who sit on little wooden rough benches and write the above lines in their brown little notebooks. A perfect manifestation of government aided school.

There was a child. The first bench. She makes the naughty children sit in the front with girl seats besides them so that she can see when they are not listening. The child writes down the lines too. Hesitant, unsure of his handwriting. Maybe a word or two is spelt wrongly. I think that child used to spell a being as beeng at that time. But he did write the lines.

I will be a good human beeng.

A simple sentence, a sentence that is made up of simple thoughts. Respect your parents, respect your teachers, your elders, be kind, help poor's, say truth, be good human being.

Nine year olds are innocent people. They believe everything their teachers tell them. That child too believed what she told him. That he have to be a good human being when he grows up. That child wanted to be a good human being when he grew up. He wanted to help poor's, serve country, and make his parents proud of him.

Sixteen years later, that child sits on the moving chair of his office typing words you are reading now. He has grown up now. He studied his books well. Went on to become an engineer working at big company with big name and then doing CFA Over a year, he was faced with a lot of choices. And he made many choices. I don't know if he evolved, but he changed.

Amongst the trigonometry lessons, the thick books of software engineering and the prolonged concept of finance, he forgot that sentence he wrote in that little, brown covered English Essay Book that day. No, wait. Maybe he did not forget. But he did not care much about it. The world did not care much about it, either. Nobody, including himself, asked "Are you a good human being, as you promised once?"

They appreciate when he pass another exams, when he prove himself better than others, faster than others with the better package and secure job than others That is what matters . Better than others. Being a good man did not matter much to anybody, and he believed it did not matter to him. He was no longer that child. Yes he was changed he smelted himself with the surroundings.

I have not been good so far. I have hurt people, I have said things which have tore apart hearts of good souls, I haven't make my parents proud of me even single time, I have been indifferent, not caring about who I am really now, who that child was, and not caring if me and the child would ever meet again, talk again, be one again.

But today, the dust on that brown covered little English Essay notebook have parted a little, and a long forgotten, once familiar sound of a that innocent child has managed to flow in like the first rays of a morning sun. And the voice says "I wanted be a good human beeng. Why have you become this? Don't you remember me? "

And today, the grown up man wants to listen to that child, and believe in that child, and be that child. Because after a long time, he has found a friend who reside inside him, who believes in being good more than being better. Who wants to help a million hands rather than control a million people! Who looks at the world from the selfless eyes of that child I once, was, without the layers of selfishness this life wraps around us adults. Who gives me a strength and direction, not by loving me, but by being who he is, who gives me the confidence that I can find myself, because I see a part of me in him. Who more than being loved, is worthy of being respected.

The white cloud of simplicity I have found gives me the strength to try to be that child again, to realize who I really am, and to be good again.

I know when you people will read this. Some people who think I am not a good man. Some people who think I am not practical enough. Some people who think I will change, and probably would forget these words soon enough. Some people who think I do not have the courage to be who I say I want to be. Some people who think I do not know what I really want to be. Some people who would not understand, and will think I do not understand. For some people it will be mere time pass to just flick out this but for me it means something. This thought giving me warm feelings, feelings which tell me that I am still good from inside; same nine year innocent child is still alive inside me.

All I can say is, I know what this means to me. And I do not expect many to understand what this means to me. Thanks to GOD, I am talking to that child again. I had some good people with me always, but before you came along, I had given up on trying being who I really wanted to be. Even though I have that brown English Essay little notebook today, that page has not been clearer to me before today. And I will be a good human "beeng". Maybe not faster. Maybe not sharper. Maybe not a winner for the world. But definitely a good human beeng.

- - - Shankar Bhanushali

9 8 * * * * * 6 2 5

I wanted to write this post from last many days but was not getting many things to put. But today an abrupt thought came to my mind that there is nothing really which i can put down in few KBs on my blog about you mahan !! Yes its only for you mahan.

I told you via sms that i need some spark to ignite my thought process and i was awaiting that trigger to write something for you which was your long lasting demand :) but on the fly i realized there is nothing which i can pick up and throw towards you. It is almost three years i know your name and your cell no !! It was totally different experience... i mean classical example of how human emotions flows without any substance in it. I dont know you but i know your Cell no , I never heared you but i heared your msg tone when it comes to my inbox.

We never talked with each other but still we take care to ask How are you
We are not age old friends but still we take care to wish happy birthday
We are not cousins but still we wish each other on every festival
We are not best friend but still we update each other regularly
We are not in relationship but still we remember each other everyday

An obscure and unimportant standing i.e. Not well known friendship but still this friendship has some substantial meaning. It is very much unregularized but i am happy to be in this stuff where you have complete security of your thoughts, no need to listen any words only you need to pour your words. No expectation no disappointments only feel good kind of stuff.

I believe each friend brings some or other face of world in front of you, whatever i got to learn from you i respect you for that !! I want to write something more about you here but feels that will defy the meaning behind writing this blog is devoted to you mahan...not to you as person.

I don't know you who are you and everything else i should know but i know you by your cell no...... 98 * * * * * 625 By the way i haven't saved you cell no by your name Bcoz i don't know you :)

I just remember an ad of IDEA where abhishek bachhan telling , " Iss gaon mein ab koi apne naam se nahi jana jayega " lallalallalalla

What an Idea Sir Ji !!!

7 wonders of My Life - Crush to Crash - Part 2

Continue from Part 1

Now I was no longer be a novice into this crush to crash crap, I had a experience of four crashes each with different lessons but still from inside you always search better than your previous and when you had back up of experience you become more choosy and clear with your dimensions. So its makes you better rather than best perspective of getting crush from someone and its same happened with me not exactly same but somehow I can consider this my 5^th crush to crash crap.

I didn't want anyone at that point of time but as you know when you don't want anyone you will get someone very easily. And yes I got introduce to Ms K somehow and that somehow remains somehow only...hehehehe

Moving ahead with all the fun I had with this entire crush to crash wala things….its seems to be funny now. Why we have crushes? And if we do have then why it always get crash? Anyways mystery still continues when I meet with Ms V with some of my friends. I had immediately crushed on her but that crush did not last longer than 5 min as she was already committed and this was the fastest crash I had so far thank god!! But this was the best thing happened so far till now, I got one of the good friend in the process.

Anyways moving ahead i want my last crush should be different from all the above, waiting for the moments.

Enjoy!!!!

7 wonders of My Life - Crush to Crash - Part 1

Life is wonderful and when you look behind the moments which you have been lived with your life will present wonderful experience. Some of them might have taught you many things; some might be making you laugh and on some might be asking you questions and laughing on your.

Everyone in their lives would have crushes, and I too had my share of crushes. But, it didn't take much time for each of them to turn to crashes. None of my crushes took off, or probably they crashed even before they took off!! Today, when I look back, I can't manage but to have a laugh. But some of the crushes turn into great friends where some shrugs of from the memory, but still when you remember those incidence you bounds to give a broad smile.

My First crush was with Ms V. I was in my 7^th class. I didn't know about love, crush and all phenomenons. I was so innocent in those days but then I no longer be innocent after I saw her in my class. She taught me what is love and crush without a word. We happened to speak only once that too after six months wait, but it happened when I was punished and standing outside a class and she was monitor of my class. She was complaining about me to the teacher and I told her, "SORRY". I still can't forget dumbstruck look on my face. And that's the miserable end of my first love. This is the way my first crush turn into crash.

I was in 10^th class and was going in coaching classes and there I found Ms J oops…sorry Mrs. V. She was in same school but I never had interacted with her but unfortunately (fortunately for me) we became friend. I used to make notes for her with the hope that someday she will pay me back with her love And I was waiting for send-of party and that day came soon. I was as excited as I could but everything vanished in one frame of picture when I saw her with guy. Well disastrous moment for me. I didn't teach her single problem after that day I swear!!

Well life moves on and we all need to find someone else after someone that was the underlying philosophy on which I was working and it worked for me when I step into my junior college. Her name is Ms M. what a smile she has!! Ohh I still remember her smile great isn't it! We were in same practical batch and I never missed any single practical of that subject. It took 2 years to talk with her first time and it too late for anything as she wants to become doctor and I want don't want to be doctor. End of my 3^rd crush. Very sad isn't it!!

It truly said that "Bander kabhi gulati marna nai bhulta hai" even I didn't but it took couple of years for my new crush Ms R. We were in the same Degree College. She was a so called babe of the College and I still remember that semester in which I helped her a lot, each assignment, each program, each journal what not I had done for her and same time she was also giving me some "bhaav". But everything cleared to me that when I came to know that all guys were getting bhaav from her. Well that was a time where I really had serious confrontation with myself regarding picking up wrong script always . . . haha . .

Things were going smoothly and I was happy also with myself, no more crushes so no more crashes…… " Jiyo aur Jine Do " But God didn't wanted to see me happy and one more crush to crash, this time it was more intensive more progressive kind of crush…….

She . . .

I was busy in updating report for monthly release plan and its only 30 minutes deadline work thrown on me by ***** manager!! and suddenly

My brain teased me , " she is coming....!!!"

i said, " plz dont disturb me brainy let me do work for that buffalo"

" ohh.....she is looking damn cool yaar......beautiful " brain again teased me with his words

" achha, i couldnt resist myself any more and trying to catch her through corner of my eyes'

let her walk through diagonally opposite to my cube....i will look her" i said to my brain. (ya i am seating in a such place that i can see any girl walking around me)

and i tried to look her from corner of my eyes by taking as possible as care to avoid direct eye contact. And she came diagonally opposite to my desk and stand in confused way.

" go buddy go, talk with her... she is waiting for you " my brain advice me (utha le utha le famous

just shut up, let me look her....."she is hot yaar " i told my brain, yellow color salwar suites her most, i exclaimed as i was her dress designer!!

" abey sirf dekhta hi rahega ke kuch baat bhi karega ", brain sarcastically told me

" how do i talk with, she might be not knowing me and i dont have any purpsoe for initate talk " i gave political ans

" Be a Man shank, go and talk with her you will find topics soon sure " , brain start to motivate myself

"No Yaar, I cant she is married", i said to my brain

" abey fattu, kya ek ladki se sharma raha hai" brainy told me

oye dimag..she is not ladki now...she is now lady....A married Women, i corrected with the fact

"haan haan pata hai pata hai....3 saal se dekh raha hoon.....woh thodi tere liye wait karegi", honest comment from brain

"muje lagta hai tu fattu ka fattu hi rahega, kabhi koi milegi nai" predicting my future brainy

then i recollect famous words of Imran Khan from Jaane Tu......Jaane Na

"milegi milegi, jo meri jaisi fattu hogi, jo mujhe pasand karegi, koi na koi to hogi".....

Reebok shoes, Franky and V day plans

Well I am not feeling sleepy so I will just type out stuff about my evening. I hope to fall asleep on the Laptop doing it. I hope you too fall asleep reading it. Make sure you don't drool in your sleep. The saliva may screw up your keyboard.

This evening, V came to my home. He had to go shopping for some shoes. He asked me to accompany him. I refused V and told him I had to work on a project of top priority. He promised to pay for my pizza if I went with him. It took me seven seconds to get ready.

So we went to inorbit mall. And it's my habit that whenever I visit a mall I just don't miss to check out bookstores (I don't know why I do that but I always feels that kash koi mere jaisi mil jaye wahan pe) It's a nice bright bookstore with a lot of books. Middle aged women in khadi kurtas sit around on low stools and pore over books discussing ways to rekindle the fire in married lives. Little kids noisily run around book racks. Young girls are around the fiction racks. I think most people found in a bookstore are fat. Maybe it's because they spend a lot of time sitting and reading books on weight reduction. I picked up "elephant can't dance" and went to the billing counter.

The billing girl at the counter looked at the big red and blue Reliance ADAG logo on the front of my t-shirt and gave me a smile. I think she liked brand value of ADAG. And as I went away, she again smiled at me. I could feel it. It wasn't the 'please visit again' smile every customer gets. I think she liked me in a cute way. If you all who are reading my blog when visit that inorbit mall and by mistake visit that book store then plz tell her that I still think about HER.

We got out and we went into a Reebok store. V kept checking out the price tags of all the stuff there. He made a peculiar whooshing sound with his breath every time he did that. I think it translates into 'why don't I have a rich dad who is into smuggling?'. I did not have to buy anything. So I was pretty relaxed and tried on all the caps and shoes while he went around looking for something which had the price of a matchbox. He bought a pair of Reebok Shoes finally. Reebok people don't have the right marketing guys. It is a blunder to have that dark south Indian guy at the billing counter showing you his bright teeth. I felt a strange creepy chill the way he smiled at me. I will never go to that store again.

Then we went to food court to eat something. Never trust anyone. Just do not. People promise to pay for your pizza and back out then. And you can't do a thing because they have already bought the obscenely Reebok Shoes and got your company while doing it. It is a hard world. And then you realize for you it is even harder . I was not even carrying much money and had to settle for FRANKY. I wanted to empty the ketchup sachet on V's shoes. I controlled my anger.

On our way back in the Auto, and V was telling me about his valentine day plan and I was jealous of him as could I, and just that time V's girlfriend called up. I wanted to take revenge so I screamed 'Don't touch me V!' followed by 'Leave me V!' in the most girly voice I can put on. He spent the rest of the call explaining to his girlfriend there was no girl around him. You don't give me a pizza. I tear apart your love life and your V Day plan. Fair and simple.

It's past 3 in the morning now. But I still don't feel sleepy. I think I should try to sleep and who know in my dreams she might come.

Still 2 years to go....... (first comic attempt)

Yes, still 2 years to go…. It is statement I have eluded so many times since last two years. And now I am fed up with this statement and no more I want to say this to all but again I am saying still 2 years to go, it's so frustrating.

It happened that I was attending a socio get together by chance last Sunday. And one my uncle (I don't know who was that fellow but uncle is better word to call him) approached me and asking me about all things. He was asking me all questions so tentatively that I could make out that "daal mein kuch kaala hai" and I smelled the purpose of taking my interview on so much urgent basis.

Mein bhi kidhar piche rahene walo mein se tha, even I responded him nicely (thoda chada bada ke bol raha tha). After asking me common HR questions (about my family, my parents, siblings, surname, native place) he started 2^nd round of interview about my professional, hobbies, career scope, goals, salary package (most important) and one more very important and conclusive question (read till the end)

Its difficult to narrate each and every question in English so its better I use hinglish here (waise bhi koi padta nai hai mera blog kis mein bhi likh kya farak padta hai??)

Uncle: looking for making new friends huh??
Me: No, I already have many

Uncle: then, who you are looking for?
Me: (I just smiled)

Uncle: hmm, seems to be ready for mingle!
Me: again just smiled

Uncle: are you engaged??
Me: No, not at all. Who the hell spreading rumors!!

Uncle: Ohh thts Good, Very Good
Me: No expression (just thinking that what was so much good in that)

Uncle: so what are doing studying or working?
Me: both studying and working

Uncle: Achha, where are you working and what are you studying??
Me: (y d hell he is asking me so many questions???) I am working in RCOM and preparing for CFA

Uncle: RCOM??? Ye RCOM kaunsi company hai???
Me: Reliance Communication

Uncle: achha, jo bekar mobile bechti hai??
Me: kya? We are into telecom services
Uncle: haan pata hai kar lo duniya muthi mein wali company, Dhirubhai ka sapna sabka maal apna
Me: to

Uncle: kaam kya karte hai company mein??
Me: I am business analyst
Uncle: business ko analyst kya karma hota hai, sirf sim card to bechne hote hai
Me: (only wondering what should I say)

Uncle: ye reliance salary bahot kam deta hai
Me: (then you give me, bl***y hell)

Uncle: what's your goal? What you want to achieve?
Me: I want to be an entrepreneur
Uncle: enter prenor ye kya hai?? Koi hero hai kya???
Me: I want to do my own business
Uncle: array tere ko tera dhandha chalu karna hai aisa bol na
Me: (dhandha…well what should I say)

Uncle: what is your hobby??
Me: writing and reading blogs
Uncle: ye kaunsa game hai?? Kuch bhi timepass kar ne ka kya?? Kaam kar ne ka time pass nai
Me: (F*** O**)

Uncle: (hmm, ladka to achha hai n shaadi ke layak bhi hai) my nephew has done mbbs and now doing internship
Me: Good
Uncle: we looking for good guy like you for her
Me: (sala apna number laga raha hai) ohhh
Uncle: want to know more about her?
Me: (yes, whats her name, figure, color and of course mobile no) No thank you

Uncle: array ask, jo puch na hai puch le
Me: nai uncle (can you ask her for date??)

Uncle: so what you say?? Can I talk with your parents for marriage??
Me: still two years to go…. (Uncle's face became yellow like papaya, must be thinking that phokat ka time waste kiya)


I know it was not comedy but mein aisa hi comedy karta hoon…..its funnyyy…hahahahahahaha…..now plz smile….

Actually something I need to tell my self that from last two years I am saying still 2 years to go……. But even today after 2 years I am saying same thing because I am no near to my destiny, I don't know how much time it will take for me to reach on a path to my destiny and I want to change that statement. Again change…..it is year of change indeed for me.

I don't want to say still 2 years to go… next year also….i want this 2 become 1 and finally I committed to someone but before that there are more things to do which are on high priority for me.

So till den 2 years to go…….

Brinjal (Baingan) Vs Cabbage (Gobi) - BakWass

Yes it's really Brinjal Vs Cabbage, and that too happened on the eve of New Year celebration.

I never knew that there is whole two community in this world one is for Brinjal and one is for Cabbage. And I was part of that extra ordinary fight. And adding to that this fight had dragged all things into it. Starting with government, Doctor, Dietician, Chef, socio-economic class, poor, rich, thin, thick everything was debated and fought for their rights!! Well I think now you have also decided to belong to which group

Its started with one comment that Cabbage is vegetable for poorer people who cant afford much. Well I don't know is it? And Brinjal is on commanding position and driving a debate to their side. They argued that cabbage is grass, it has no taste, it is cheaply available in all season and it should be ban for humans only animal can eat that….haha its rhetoric comments they have made with any substance but they were driving unless cabbage group started arguing that where is the proof.

Phir kya, phir sab log ne mil ke shakbhaji vale bhaiye ki lene lage… sayad hi koi bhaiya baki raha hoga. And then these arguments are getting bolder with some doctor step into fight. It is Full of vitamin A, doctor said. But Brinjal group don't want to loose they argued over taste. At same time koi Taj hotel ka chef ho aise bola ke cabbage is used in Chinese, thai, Italian, maxican all kind of dishes where Brinjal to sirf Baingan bhurta ya Baingan curry mein hi use hota hai!! Well Baingan bhurta ka naam sun ke hi muuh mein paani aa gaya and i slightly changed my way to their side.

And debate was keep on going, finally their was no outcome of debate but I think cabbage walo ka palla thoda bhari tha but Brinjal group never want to loose. And its never end but it was good that both are vegetables so we vegetarian never have any problem. Hahaha

Well I am sorry to post this kind of post, but is their any rule that every blog should be sensible every post should gives some thoughts, I think NO!!! And if at all it is Rule then I am breaking that Rule!!

Ja jo kar na hai woh kar le!!!!