"Serendipity" Part - 9

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Part - 9

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She looked into his eyes. He was looking towards moon but tears were rolling from his eyes to his chin. She saw that and she couldn’t control herself anymore and she also started crying.

“Plz, don’t cry. I know you. I had seen your face almost every night. I am also vulnerable to the pain which you are going through” she said to him.

He responded to her but this time a frustration was clearly visible in his words. “What do you know about me? What is that you know? What do you know of my pain? All you see is my face.” He responded

“Why are you feeling pity about yourself??” she said

“Self-pity? Yes, I pity myself. I pity the way I suffered. I pity the way I burned those nights. Time didn't give my share of mourning and it stayed all inside. It still is there, burning. It burns me every night. No matter how loud I laugh, how high I jump, how much I cry, it stays there” He said

“Why are you getting so much angry? Don’t you see sympathy for you in my eyes? Don’t you??” she looked into his eyes

Yes, I am angry. Fucking angry. To hell with all your sympathy. Live a single night that I lived and you will crumble.

“Do you think is that all easy for me?? Just compare your fate and mine?? You will see the difference” she lose control on herself

All you know is compare. You, a part of this race that compares everything, jealous of everything, of even sadness. All you do is compare your sorry fate with mine and then fling verdicts at me but don’t feel proud of yourself?

“Yes, I am proud of myself. I am proud of the way I faced everything. I am proud of my coldness, of my fake smiles, of my strength. See the sights I saw and your walls of strength will crumble to dust. Your eyes will well, your heart will pound against the ribs, your lungs will scream for a breath. But wait, you have to smile through all this! You can't cry, not even sob; you have to hold everyone. You have to be strong. And I am proud of myself.” She defended herself

He couldn’t able to utter a single word, he kept listening to her.

But God it hurts. It hurts like hell. I want to speak out. Let go of everything. Someone who would hold me and ask, "Tell me everything. Tell me what all happened to you. Tell me and I will listen." I let no one see me burn but today I need someone to know all that. No, I don't need any sympathy. But I want everything out of me. But how will I make sure that all that's out? Only when someone will tell me, "It's okay. It was not your fault. It has all passed. Stop crying." She continued.

“I was always there standing alone to help you.” He said

“Can you help me measure my pain? Help me please. I beg. Take my life but help me live for a moment. I feel so drowned. So alone. So tired of pretending that I have got over everything”

“Even I want my everything back. I want my innocence back, my life free of worries. I am afraid that in my attempt of running away from my past, from my worries I am running away from the ones who love me the most. They remind me of everything. I am so far from them now. I want to get close to them. I want them”. He said

“I want that cuddle of friends, that warmth of my parents, those nights I shared with listening to you. I want you back. I want your shoulders to lean on. I want you please.” He continued.

"Serendipity" Part - 8

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Part - 8

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He looked into her eyes to see the answer he wanted from her. He stood from a couch, walked closer to her. Now he stood in front of her. He asked for her hand. She couldn't deny it. Her heart had no more control over her mind. It didn't listen any of a call from her mind.

He held her hand, and took her near a balcony of her well furnished home. He pointed towards a moon, which was in a full shape today. They both stepped out from the boundary of a relationship, a boundary of the friendship. For the moment they forgot everything, they were here like they were ten years before. They were still holding each others hand, but this time more tightly and starring towards a moon. Moon has its own effect own them. They fall back to their old memory days, a day when they were out for a trip to a beach with their friends.

He started "I opened my old album yesterday after almost ten years. And I found you. You were dressed in your favorite half-shirt and half-pants. You had knotted your shirt above your belly. Your belly was clearly visible. That gesture of yours still excites me every time I remember it. I stand next to you with your arms around my shoulders. We both were striking a pose for the camera. The background of a blue bed-sheet with patterns of flowers stitched on it, hangs behind us. We were smiling.

I turn to the next page and I find you sitting on the broken wall of an old house on beach. You watch me from there as I play with the sand on the beach. I dig holes, scoop and fill my hands with the sand. With a twig I then scrap off the sand from behind my nails. I look at you then, smiling. You look back and jump on to the heap from that wall. We build our first sand-castle.

We got tired and we slept over their. You were leaning towards me with your brows furrowed. I am on my belly, lying, peeking into your eyes, with the characters of the story, you started telling to me about all your family, your brother, you mom and dad. Hours pass together. I yawn. I say, "Rest family drama tomorrow. I looked into your eyes and I saw something and changed my words. No, tonight after dinner!"

You smile, "I can finish it now if you want me to." "No!", I say, "I want the full of your bakwass gossip tonight." "Ok", you say and you slap me with the love. I tried to have a fake anger; you ran off towards the beach, I ran off behind you. I caught you near sea. We both fell into the sea; you became wet so I was. I held both of your hand, I saw love in your eyes, and same love was visible in my eyes. I held your hand more tightly. Your eyes got closed; I came close to you, a very close to you near your lips. You felt my hot breath and you opened your lips, I sensed it what you wanted and I reciprocated you with the same intense. A complete lust took over to love for the moment, away from all, in the presence of sea.

We broke that moment. I stand with anxious eyes, nervous. You play to find something in the wanted, the thing you do when you are worried, you nervous. You walk out of the sea and then walk back in to the house. You walk out again and in again you came out. You came and stand near me anxiously. You hugged me tight. You cry. I try figuring out why you are crying where it was no one's fault. But then I cry too. Just because you cried.

"Serendipity" Part - 7

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Part - 7

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"It's so easy to read you, so easy" she said to him.

"You can't hide your anger, your fear, and your frustration. Though you pretend a lot at times but every time you try, you fail. I don't know about others but it just takes a few seconds for me to know in what mood you are." She continued.

"You know what, you speak more when you are silent and when you speak, and all you try to do is show that you are not all that's so obvious. Lock me in a dungeon and smile, I will know; drown me in an ocean and cry, I will know; burn me to ashes and hate me and you will find my ashes flying away." She opened herself more.

He amazed with her understanding and the way she knew him. There was full of emotions flowing between them. He wanted to cry, wanted to cry aloud. He was missing her all those year, no one know him more than her.

"You will have to give me a sign, one of your stupid ways to hide your emotions and I will know. I swear I will be there then." She paused for a moment and looked into his eyes. He couldn't able to utter a single word. He was fighting with his fate, his feelings, and his emotions. He couldn't hold himself anymore and he burst into the tears.

"I am all alone from last ten years, from a day when you went away from me", he told her with wet eyes.

"There was no one to listen me; a sudden change of surroundings was beating me more than healing me. It was so difficult to change myself into next orbit, I couldn't able to done that. I just couldn't able to forget you. I couldn't able to get married and settle in the life because there was no one to take your position except you. I had missed you so much." He continued.

She couldn't pretend to remain strong for long time, wetness in his eyes making her weak enough to roll her tears from eyes to heart. But she held herself in a shock when she listened that "he is still single". But why? Is that a milestone of the love? Is that a sacrifice? Is that I am the reason for it? Guilt of making someone suffer a lot was flawing over her heart. She couldn't able to look into his eyes.

"Why, why have u done that?" she asked him.

"I had never measured relationships in miles, but yes there were times when the distance between us has shaken my faith. I ask myself how would have life shaped without you and I found this huge empty space. Sometimes I feel may be someone would have taken your place and given me more than what you have given to me. But I found it hard to think of someone else in your place, you know, everything looks so odd and off the place. Even the remains of the misunderstandings we had and we have, fit so perfectly in my world. If I remove it, it will make my life so incomplete. Funny, isn't it? Whatever harsh words you used or I said, in whatever way we have hurt each other, everything has become a part of this life that we shared; everything completes the design. It's a complete design of my life." He sighed. .

"Serendipity" Part - 6

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Part - 6
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A moment which was like eternity to them got revoked by her child. She gained all the sense but her eyes were still finding no other way except his eyes.

She introduced him to her husband as her old college friend, she looked into his eyes for gratification, but he chooses to skip eye contact with her. He was feeling numb, his hands were getting cold, he was feeling restless as he know this moment will get end abruptly anytime and he don't know how to ask her for contact no?? Same was happening with her also. She was eager as him to get rid of contact number but how can she?? "Can't you give me your no??" she murmured. And even god wanted to them meet again, her husband invited him for a lunch on next Saturday. He accepted it wisely.

She looked into his eyes. His eyes were saying, "No, I won't ask you anything. I don't need your any favor. I know how to be alone and i will walk away the way i had come. I will not stay. But plz help me to heal my soul" She recognized an anger, a frustration, a persuasion inside him. She wanted to say him "Tell me what happened. Tell me everything and I will listen. I will stay mum and wait for you to finish. You can lean on me, let your tears flow down my shoulders, and wipe your eyes with my sleeve. But don't let anything stay inside".

It's like both were listening each other without bartering any words. Only few people can do that whose heart beats in the rhythm. There was a complete void of silence between them. They were not uttering a single word but listen every word they wanted to exchange.

But time has its own speed, time doesn't wait for anyone and it didn't wait for them also. As time passed by, they were becoming more restless. They knew it that time will get end soon, he hurriedly broke the silence and accepted invitation of his husband. He said "I will join you for a lunch next Saturday, Thanks".

He handshake with her husband. Her husband and child moved ahead towards exit but she was still looking into a pretending gesture of his saying "all well", she knew it. Their eyes met, no one wants to say anything, they tried to understand without a barter of words, they did and understood.

"Bye", He said. "Bye", she said. But their eyes were saying something different. With the resonance of relationship they shared with each other both got apart.

He was walking to some place lonely tonight as always but today he felt to hide himself in the shadow of those trees there; so tightly they held on to solitude for so many years and tonight he feels to borrow that solitude. But why he was trying so hard as he knew that surrender was the only answer to his anxiety?

I sigh on the count of every twenty stride he took; something that has fallen in place between him and her, their sighs. Everything else just hangs in the mid air; as confused. The questions resurface like bubbles from the deep within. He was barely holding anything tonight. Tonight it seems he will fall for her again. He again saw her face when he closed his eyes. He fought for a sleep but he lost. He opened his eyes again and remains awaked.

He was getting ready for the lunch day. He was confused what to speak, what to say, to get angry or calm. He was just out of his mind and a day arrived where he found himself alone with her in her house after a lunch.

"Serendipity" Part - 5

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Part - 5
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For the moment he closed his eyes. He lend himself back to that day, a day when he met her last time, ten years ago a flashback with the closed eye. "Bye" she said. He didn't replied to her bye. He was looking into her eyes, without a word he was saying everything to her. His eyes were so expressive at that time even words fall short at that time. She wanted to get away from his sight but his eyes but she couldn't dare to get away from his sight. Tears in his eyes was easily visible and making them shine little more.

"Moving back to end of road, far from each other, last phone call to meet last time, a day when she said she is getting engaged. A fight when she said its too late now. A fight when he didn't understood his love for her. Last day of college, that first gift, their laugh, their first date, their first outing with the friends, his first photo with her and a flash from camera" that flash recovered him to open his eyes.

He felt like a time has rewind against the rule of nature. And he is standing there from the ages to see this moment, to see her. He was feeling weak now, he actually was not believing what he was seeing but he came to sense and saw a face which he has seen a lot many times in his dreams. She was standing in front of him unaware of him. His mind stopped working and heartbeats became more fast. He was in a state which he had never felt before. He wanted to escape from the situation. He was not prepared for this moment. "GOD, you can't be so kind with me" he said with closed eyes. He hide himself behind the stall away from her vision. "what to do?? what to do??" he was in a twist but neither his heart nor his mind ready to answer.

"Is that so happen in the love??" Why heart and mind don't work together when people are in love?? You craved for your love when you are far away but when your love is in front of your eyes why your mind and heart don't support you at that time, why??

He was standing behind the stall. He felt a silence around him. And again for the moment he closed his eyes. He found this silence threatening this time and suddenly his heart broke the silence with the something, something even he didn't expected. Heart has a complete control on him and he decided to broke the barrier. He don't wanted to loose this opportunity as he had lost last time.

He was moving towards her slowly, his mouth was drying, he was falling short of words, he don't know what to speak? how to react? what to say?? It has been ten years now he was waiting for the moment and when moment came he was not prepared for it. It took thousands of thoughts, ten years of memory to take those ten steps towards her. Finally he reached near her back was facing towards him. "she was wearing same color kurti which she had wear on their first date" He noticed.

"Hh h iii", he said in very faint voice with all courage he has stored for this moment in last ten years.

She heard the voice, she knew this voice. She had heard this voice so manytimes. Her heart missed a bit for moment. "He can't be here, he can not be here" she grumbled these words and turned back.

For countless seconds she kept starring him, she could not able to utter single word. She kept starring him. Her eyes filled up with the tears, He noticed it, she knew it.

She said, "Hi" after almost a minute.

He found her fumbled with the words. He acknowledged it what she wanted to say, He knew it.

And suddenly both recovered from that moment, a moment which can not be captured in the words, that only can be feel with the emotions. Both of them will not forget that moment. The moment which pulled both of them a close, they felt last ten years like a last ten days. It was those moment where you froze the time around you. Because it was the indifference of the world that they watched passing by, but not he, not she, not their silence, not their distance . . .

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End of Part - 5
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