Persuasions

I owe this thoughts to my grooming developed mind or the kicks I had from my past failure. I mean every time some how I disappoint myself and again something new comes up and I thinks -"Just don't let down this time. You know how it feels when you are hurt, don't you?" that I try my best not to let down myself.

Well, you may think that I am being a bit showy and chucking lights at my virtues and righteousness but those who know me they don't think like that about me.

And today, when I am standing at the very place, where my decisions will highlight my repute; I am going through a scramble. Sometimes I feel I am forcing myself into and in doing that will certainly bruise a few and also me. I still don't understand the purpose of it but my heart still believe that I will do it!!

Practical and logical. The two words I have never understood and never will. I despised the very existence of those two words and weighed every damn thing with emotions as the counterweight. And people didn't like it or I should say they were concerned that I was too far from the real side of the world.

"Why should I am feeling tensed? I mean I am trying my best to keep every one happy with my efforts. I tried my best!" someone would say. But I am still feeling that I am sad!! I expect something from myself and I know I didn't gave that to me. I am sad because of me. How can I ignore that?" I would cry.

"Be practical! Grow up. You will sooner or later forget that and you should do that too. Just let go of this emotional stuff and live like everyone else lives. Be mean when you have to and keep your hands in your pocket. Take them out when you want to, not when they want you to. They will use you! Relax .You are a boy...", and the lecture would go on. But . . . questions still remain questions.

And I forced myself into a change that I never wanted to. I had to because everyone around me was doing that and I failing would result in hurting myself more. Well, that's what I have found. If you are hurt easily, if you can understand what the other feels and take every step not to hurt that person and if your expectations outweigh your logical quotients, then sorry, you are not fit to live in this world. I was an idiot. I used to pursue a lot of unpractical stuff.