Last day in Reliance :)

The Last day before i switch off my desktop (DPC - A002242). Some thoughts are in my mind that i want to say especially to them whom i have communicated in my professional tenure of 3 years with RTS.

I love this DAKC, for all the reasons it has given to me. It has given me all key first moments in my life both Personal as well as Professional. First job always have important place in CV and DAKC too have that importance (It will be always there in my CV) . . :)

Professionally this job has given me all first key break through to change myself from student to REE (Revenue Earning Employee - someone needs to justify). My first appointment letter, first Meeting, first presentation, first assignment, first scrap project, first mistake and last but not the least my first switch everything has been happened here in my first company - RTS. Apart from this there are countless other moments happened right here in DAKC.

15th April, 2006. I remember the day i was standing outside Gate No. 1 and while looking at the BHQ building i got the unknown motivation and i still get that feelings. It is the statue of power that Brand Reliance holds in India. And a guy fresh out from the college can't ask more than this (except salary).

For a GET (with baniya skills) it is hard to justify here everything is perfect for him but that is what i learnt in DAKC, ability to grow in a difficult environment. As organization it believes on job training (refer undocumented policy) but I forgot to mention that most important training i got on job is Trade Off. Trade off can be between two people, two departments, HR-Employee, Manager-subordinate, two collegues. Everything we learn on job (Unique training). But i think i should concentrate on positive things rather than deceptive things.

I have heard from my ancestor (19th Century) that we should learn from out mistakes but in 21st Century no one will allow you to do mistakes then how will you learn?? well this is the only place where you can make mistakes and learn from mistakes. It has given me enough learning opportunities. Thank you RTS

It is difficult to express myself for all the things i have learned here (really??) But some where i visioned myself something different than what i can be here. So time was due for change. I am not taking anything away from RTS infact i am not one who believe in bartering system. So one more time i am saying Thank You RTS. This shall indeed be useful in my future endeavours.

Although I am happy to move out but still i feel that I miss few of people here. Some for good reasons and some for other reasons.

Well few of very good friends gave me name "GURUBHAI", well i hadn't decided that name but they just did, Thank you friends. I am touched.

The sentiment of going away, of anticipated nostalgia, mixed with all that one looks forward to, is a heady mix. I am perpetually dazed in the last few days.

Thank you everyone for all the calls, msg's, mails, farewell's, words of wisdom, criticism, some inspired memento's, everything bestowed upon for the last few days, in lieu of me leaving.

I love you all.

Dear Team

Thoughts are many but words are few
Will remember you as being member of crew

Work projects communications getting hectic
Thank you all for teaching me those tectics

Mam, Sir, collegues and Friend
Relationship with you will never end

You may all achieve your goal
Onething sure that i miss you all

transcript

"Hi"
"Hi"

"I read your blogs"
"Thanks"

"You wrote this?"
"Yes"

"It's beautiful. Is it fiction?"
"Yes. I think so."

"No, It can't be. It is full of real emotions. Can i ask you something?"
"Sure"

"For whom have you written this?? Tell me her name"
"Well, For no one"

"Come on yaar!! You can't write such a thing with your own and then tell everyone that it is fiction. It's a complete lie"
"I am telling you it's for no one"

"You know what?"
"What?"

"I have read your many blogs and i feel mature after reading it"
"Thanks"

"I can feel your emotions"
"I am glad"

"Have you shown this to her, i am sure any girl will fall for you"

"I don't think so" "Why?" "I don't think i can answer that" "I don't think i can answer that"

Kashhh . . koi Munnabhai yahan hota!!!

It's indifference of human nature that we sometime find humor in every tensed situation around us. And i am not exception to that. In recent past someone told me that if things don't work out for you than don't think about it too much leave it for elders.

"Sirf Blank face karke smile karneka"

Us se Kya hoga? i asked her with the amazed

She told me "aur to kuch nai hoga but you will get courage to face something" and she smiled . . hehe

Oye dekh i listened your words, I am smiling with blank face . . It's working :)

I don't know what the difference it will have and how long it will have but one thing is sure that even if you find every thing right around you, for you then also there is only something which you will get for everything else it is MAKTUB.

It's few numbers here and there made everything look odd isn't it atrocious?? I don't believe in it, you don't believe in it but there is a lot more crowd surround us do believe in it and thats what AM is all about :)

Well who know there will be some good in it which we don't see!! Array yaar sirf do ghante aur control nai kar sakti thi kya . . hehehehe

Kashhh . . koi Munnabhai yahan hota and sab kuch thik kar deta!! I wish!!

but you know what?? Its good to have you as a friend?? what say :)

Anyways tension nai lene ka !! smile Karne ka!! becoz aal is well!!

Bbye . . tc . . Keep smiling :)

Let me be your . . . :)

Let me be your secret
I promise not to tell
Let me be your secret
one you want to know well

Let me be your promise
The one you're going to commit
Let me be your promise
The one you won't regret

Let me be your Shadow
from one you can't escape
Let me be your Shadow
To see the mistakes you make...

Let me be your mind
To give you the help you sought
Let me be your mind
To consume your every thought...

.....................................

Let me be your everything
on one you put your belief

Let me be your everything
Including your wonderful life

..............................

Plz let me be your Life J

Scattered Thoughts!!

I got up late in the morning today and i felt everything scattered around me. I remembered that i slept late last nite around 3 in the morning. someone asked me what kind of girl you are looking for as a life partner?? someone asked me first time with the intention, with the purpose like validating myself for some purpose. But i love the way, it has to be this way now. Its better you know and validate before you take important decision.

And i didn't tried to pretend anything, in fact why should i pretend to be neat when i want them all that way . .?? with all this thoughts i just walk out from home for office. I know where is my mind today. And a big smile covered my face :)

I look at the sky when sun hit me hard on the face. It's been long now when i found sun ray's pleasurable. Sky is all blue today. So, blue that it makes me stop and think about chat we had. I stopped near sector 28, i looked around, tried to find someone. I wish if i could see someone from there :)

The sun looks so bright today and it was complementing today with my feeling and thoughts. I was standing near blue diamond hotel for auto and watching the scene it was seems to be more beautiful than ever. I swear i see stars in this day light, twinkling.

I remembered some words from you again, i laughed. I was starring something blankly and someone asked me something, i said nothing.

I got out from auto and started walking towards office, i know myself and i murmured, "Saala lagta hai aaj ek aur post likhega." :)

I am so sure of something now. I was seeing things in their entirety. Do i need to live in a world of practicalities, rituals and all. I don't know for sure. I am confused.

I don't know i am thinking too much or may be i am just different. People around me are excited about this that they don't really ask me what I want. But then, what is that I want? Something really silly,i don't know that i need to answer for that. But for the moment, i am happy with the way things gone so far. I am happy with my mood, I am happy with our talk of last nite, I am happy with whatever little happiness i have this morning but i am also scared, i am scare if things go against my thoughts. Can i have a strength to alter my fate?? i don' know.

But then i am afraid of my thoughts. I am trying to stay calm myself. All is well!! All will be well!! All has to be well!! and if not than we will make it well!! What you say mamu :)

I am within My Self !!

Last night, I was having a conversation with a friend. Since i was a part of the conversation, it was of shameful intellectual standards. We were talking about the kind of girls we had in our batch through out our engineering years. Suddenly in an awful display of veering of conversation, the talk moved onto a rather philosophical plane. Within a matter of minutes of an animated discussion, my friend asked me this

"Have you ever thought what kind of person are you?"

I promptly coughed, murmured something about India and Bangladesh match, and then started talking about his engagement. The conversation ended soon after. (Itne heavy questions poochega to end karni hee padegi na). But then I got back to my room , jumped in my bed , drew my bedsheet over the eyes, stared into the darkness and thought "What kind of person am I?"

Now I am as confident as a Himesh Reshmiya confident about his acting and when I say that around 4 people on this planet would be interested in knowing about the what person I am, assuming my family would be interested in that. But I guess thinking about oneself once in a while clears up things, and then why should only celebrities get to talk about themselves and their favorite colors and favorite dishes? (Priyanka Chopra says "she is geeky". I am too trying to be "geeky" things I do for Piye)

So now I will talk about what I think of myself as a person. I remember one famous quote

"The most uncomfortable person in this world is a person who is not himself."

But over the years, I have tried to practice what this quote said. So I have learnt to listen to myself . I have learnt to develop a sense of self security so I don't need to do things which makes me 'cool' or 'happening' or 'smart'. So I don't drink or smoke, even though guys around me gulp gallons of alcohol and call me 'sissy' and 'mama's boy' while I sip a coke. So I don't stand around the boss during the office meetings and exclaim 'Excellent Idea' when the boss describes a business idea even a pantry guy wont approve. I wont play a rock number on my win-amp just because every cool dude with colored hair says it 'ossssssssummmmm man'.

Improvement is something that belongs to my priority list, but pretending to please your senses is not exactly on my things-to-do list. In short, I am uncool, stuck-in-old-times, and strange to a lot of people, but I have learnt to be myself. And i love myself more than anyone else.

And a contract killer is more spiritual than me, and I dozed off on the second shloka of Bhagvad Geeta, but as the years pass me by, I am beginning to understand the importance of searching for happiness in the right places. Achievements, salaries, accolades, shallow relations serve as a rocket fuel for the ego, but an ego boost is as different from happiness.

I am learning from life, that things change, people change, and clinging onto anything is selfish and as useless as gynecologist gives investment ideas.

Anyway, talking about oneself in words is like i am again trying to fit Adnam Sami again in Priyanka Chopra's low vest jeans. I have done before that also but today I have already destroyed every limit of self indulgance by talking about myself so long, so I will wrap up now.

Strange!!

"Do I like her? Is it all that I feel? No, it can't be. Is it just attraction? But what is this attraction all about? I haven't seen her, I haven't touched her, I haven't seen her smile back to me. What is it? Just her voice? No, even not her voice and it can't be. If it were just for voice then I would have fallen for every cuckoo voiced girl. What is it? Strange that I remember everything that she has said. I get sad, I see her face infront of my eyes; I am happy I see her face, I fail I see her face and when I am doing nothing I see her face. And then there is her voice. My heart pounds and throbs. Have you seen a bird flutter and cry in a cage? Well thats what happens to it. It shouts and cries in desperation from inside. Feeling shy to share it with anyone. But if I know there's nothing in it then why am I searching for "something" Is it the boyishness in me that's trying to break out? I love it when she say No to me, I love it she talks childish with me. I have gone mad for sure. May be I am searching for someone to blame for all the mishaps. Throughout my life I have closed the doors on my "beating" heart. When its hurt I just try to switch it off, try every possible way to stop it from beating. I turn it into a machine that only beats to pump the fluids through my body; yes few drops of tear do soften the chains that bind it. But still I do blunders and this what i get. Hah! I know it will pass. Its just that under current of "desires" that's breaking ripples at the bay of my heart. Its nothing, few days of loose work, so after few days with new work profile i will off her-completely by dissolved in work. (But is it so?)

For You :)

I don't know how it happened but I started thinking about you in between the breaks, my hands automatically search your name in my mobile and then I didn't have that courage to call you. You know I am a short of words in front of you. But I hear the sound of violin when I see you on-line in my G-talk. What does it mean? Can you tell me?

So many times in last few days, my eyes met your eyes in my dream and every time my heart missed a beat, so question I asked myself is it love or something else?

So many times in last few days, I had felt your eyes on me and I saw that calm and distant look in your eyes, so question I asked myself is it love or something else?

So many times in last few days, I saw smile on her face and that spark in your eyes, is it for me, so question I asked myself is it love or something else?

I don't know what it is but I know it's not me who has so much patience for things, but it's you who is making me to wait so much and I am waiting for it also. I don't know if I had chosen this way to approach you the way you have shown to me. You know what exactly you are doing, you know what exactly you need to do next, you have that control and you have that rhythm.

You know sometimes I resemble you with my basanti. I am trying to find my basanti in you and somewhere I am finding her also but still long way to go.

You know what I liked most so far, clarity of thoughts about what you want and they way you say no for anything. Sometime I just love to hear NO from you.

I am still searching for the things which I don't like in you so far. I don't know what will be the crest of this friendship, where it will end but I am so sure that I got the one good friend.

I am thinking beyond the sky, beyond the stars, beyond the whisper of my silent hours,

I am thinking beyond the darkness of this stoic night, beyond the glow of the morning light,

I am thinking beyond my thoughts, beyond my screams, beyond the picture of this wonderful dreams

I am thinking beyond the embrace, beyond the lust, beyond the limit of this unplugged trust.

Well its already 2 of the early morning but i am no where near to sleep and it is too early to conclude anything also :)

What do you do when . . .

When clicking on submit button makes you feel "void", it just takes you to the state where the amount of work you have done so far bartered with the money.

Well this is what "Corporate Culture" means. Plz understand that there is no value of emotions and now even i am melted into this environment.

I am Happy!! I am Happy for New Job!!

Thank you every one.

My perfect date for 2010.....!!!!

My idea of perfect date is be different for different seasons... here it is my ideas of perfect date for 2010

My perfect date in Rainy season would be:

"Long drive on highway....listening something real romantic and just getting completely wet as kids & dancing in the middle of the road in pot holes, flashing of rain, that coldness, feeling sensuality after drenched completely into water, enjoying every bit of rain without caring about this world...."

My perfect date in Winter would be:

"Njoying each others company after a long trek through jungle on a isolated hilltop, sitting along with the friends next to campfire, feeling alone between whole crowd...playing eye game & just completely lost in each other...holding each other hands and a kiss on the forehead saying "I w'll be always with you" ....

My perfect date Summer would be:

"Spending whole day on some isolated beach together enjoying...listening old country songs & chilled drinks...hypnotized by each others aura...sharing and cherishing special moments together, Moonlight Dinner by the beach surrendered in each others arms & cold water just touching your feet......

My ideas may change but romance won't....!!!!

wann grow up once again

Saari Umr Hum
Mar Mar ke jee liye
Ek pal to ab humein
Jeene Do Jeene do


Saari Umr Hum
Mar Mar ke jee liye
pal to ab humein
Jeene Do Jeene do


Na Na NANa Na NANa Na NANa Na NA


Give me some Sunshine
give me some rain
give me another chance
wana grow up once again


Give me some Sunshine
give me some rain
give me another chance
wana grow up once again

Na Na NANa Na NANa Na NANa Na NA

Thank you 2009. Welcome 2010.

Year 2009, was a year of memories indeed. And it ended on a very high node, I received offer letter on last day of the year. What an end!! Happy New Year!! Thank You 2009!!

It was a year which I like to keep in the list of best years in my life so far. I love the way things went on till last day of the year. I am all excited for 2010.

2009 is one of the years where I had strived for discipline and more hard work than ever. I realized importance of envisage what you want to be rather than what you will be. Its difficult no doubt in that but sometimes you have to go for it.

Change was theme of 2009 and things got changed a lot during the whole year. A year started with emotionally down node then a Fight with the fate, desire, dreams, destiny than a decision to take CFA exam and then realizing amount of efforts needs to put, moving from one orbit to another, balancing work with the study, in between some of the personal problems, finally there was a sad demise of grandfather just before two days of my CFA exam, holding a nerve, faith on a god, exam day, result day, shivering I had while checking out my result, a sigh of relief when I pass the exam. But life is not exam where you read books and clear it but it’s all about practical’s, realized what I want and amount of struggle I would have to put in to get that.

Some old friends twittering in my mind and some new friends but in all it was an emotionally challenged year. But being surrounded by family is always a pleasure. Things have shaped up nicely in year 2009 but now its turn to give the direction to that shape in 2010.

2010 will not going to be easy, it will be most difficult year I would have ever faced so far. Many of the important decisions of my life need to take during this year. And many of my dreams will also get into shape both professionally and personally. I hope I can do it!!

One of the resolutions for 2010 is to support couple of child to get their education. Understanding nature of difficulties financially child goes through, and also importance of education I will try to provide support best as I can.

Theme of the 2010 will be hard work. Its very important for me to give everything for first six months of the year.

In short, 2009 has shown me the door but in 2010 I need to open that door. I hope this year will also be memorable for me and my family. Thank you 2009. Welcome 2010.

Wish you Happy New year.