Happy Birthday !!

Well, The day was 1^st August 1984, normal day as other 364 days in a year but for me it’s important day. It’s my birthday. Happy birthday shankar!!

It has been 26 years now, I came into this earth. Since then, many 1^st August have gone but I am still finding the real purpose and real moments of life to make my parents and sibling proud of me. Different phases of my life with the different such incidences of the same day… today is one more such day…goes by the name “Birthday”.

So, last year I had promised myself to write a blog exclusive for “me” on my birthday. So, today is my Birthday. A day of celebration ... A day where all wish you a "Happy Birthday" ... A day where you party ... A day which goes cheerfully and pompously ...

Again, needs to thank my own people.

“Ya mummy, I know you are happy at last you got your daughter in law. Well I can’t say thanks to you I am afraid that did ‘Thanks’ will cover all things which I owe you….it won’t. but mom, I love you and I may not be able to show you how much I respect you but your place in my life is inevitable”.

“3 pillars, well I can say them core foundation of my life, my belief, sometimes my strength, sometime my defense, my attack, my words, my statements. It will be impossible for me to return things which you all 3 have had done for me. Sometimes I just fabled up with the thoughts that how much impact you all have in my world. Just want to thank you in a grand way….waiting for the day when I will be capable of doing that”

Finally welcoming to one more member into the family, my love. Bachha shank is incomplete without Ankita, you are my world Bachha, there will be many more birthdays to come, and I promise we will be always together to celebrate those birthdays. Do I say thanks to you for coming into my life? Well again thanks will not be covering up all things you have done and you will do for me but Bachha, your all things will not and will never go into vein. Your each effort to make me and people around me happy will be counted darling. I am so grateful to you Bachha.

I have climbed up one more step, flirting with the target. I really don't know what is the target and in which step, I am going to get that; but, whatever these may be, the fact is that I have neared by one step. So, I have to be alert! And, I am focused, I know I have to struggle. Then, this is not new to me either; I am already on the 26th step now. I have struggled a lot to reach here. I have to continue this journey, struggle in the path; may be little harder than the past. But, I can do that... I am ready to take that challenge. I have faith on me, I believe myself, above all, I love myself. I CAN and I WILL ...

Finally, Wish me "Happy Birthday" and Wish me "All the best" for my future ...

Yours Truly ...

Shankar

You and I .....

Lets go to a place,
away from all,
lets hold our hands,
and let the leaves fall.

Lets have a conversation,
but don't utter a word,
and let the eyes speak,
all the words unheard.

Lets feel the life,
lets feel the death,
lets come closer,
and feel the breath.

lets go to the other world,
and lets see all its color,
lets forget everything,
and let this busy world go blur.

lets sing a silent song,
lets have a tearless cry,
come and take me to a world,
where there's only YOU AND I...!!!

You and I…. In this beautiful world :) :)

I got my 'someone' - My Love

It has been long time now I was telling myself that there will be ‘someone’, but now I got my someone, My love :)

someone whom I can take for a coffee
someone whom I can ask for date

someone whom I can ask for ride
someone with whom I can walk openly

someone who become my world
someone who is so special

someone who will give me her shoulder to lean on
someone who will cry when I am hurt

someone who will listen my all crazy talks all day
someone who will read my all crazy stuff

someone who will listen me silently
someone who will see me even when I am not there with her

someone whom I trust more than myself
someone who prays for me every time when I am down

someone whom I can trust blindly
someone for whom I think when I am alone

someone whom I can see even when I close my eyes

someone whom I can’t forget even for a second

someone whom I say you look beautiful
someone who says me I Love You

someone who makes me smile
someone who makes me happy

someone with whom I feel strong
someone without whom I feel weak

I just feel..god knows what but I got someone whom I can say you are my life, my love, my friend, my partner, still searching for right words J for my anki :)

Shhhh…Just don’t ask me how it feels, you know I never forget to keep my hand on my heart after hearing this from you “Bacha, Love you 2 3 4 …” Believe me, It works for me like magic.

Love you bachha.

Getting Committed :)

I am writing Happy, yes happy words once I loved most back on my blog. The words, I had promised to build my life with… Oopsss sorry our life. Pick up your pen SHANK, dip it into the chalice of reveries, let it suck as much as happiness it can and let go and write the story which emits happiness into our own world.

Let me write my dreams today, like we always wanted, like we are born out from those dreams. Isn’t it wonderful, to see dreams together and then see them to come true. Let our words speaks our story, don’t try to controlling them, don’t try to distorting them with beguiled metaphors-let them what they want to be and you will not be disappointed.

I never saw it happening

I'd given up and given in

I just couldn't take the hurt again

What a feeling

I didn't have the strength to fight

Suddenly you seemed so right

Me and you

What a feeling

Let the rain fall, I don't care

I'm yours and suddenly you're mine

Suddenly you're mine

What a feeling

Suddenly from you, me and I, WE seems to be most perfect, I am using OUR more than you and me. Is it the feeling I was missing? is it the feeling I never felt before? There is kind of accomplishment inside me which I just cant capture in a words. There is lot more than smile but those stuff don’t deserve the place here.

Intehaah junoon ki kya hoti hai,
Jab dil ki baat muh se nahi, sabdo se bayaan hoti hai.

Last night, I was walking along with night, and I see the stars so bright. I wish I has you in my sigh and we would fly like a kite J

Hey bachha, thanks a lot coming into my life. I know this post is not enough to cover all thing but my bachha, story will continue forever happily and never ending.

I know now what is Love...

It is you...

It is me...

It is the purity of our souls...

And the Love that is called….. SH(ankar)ANK(ita)

cafe coffee day girl !!

You can admire a person with all your senses. And we humans, use just one or two of our sense. There was a time when we truly used all our senses to communicate love, affection, hatred and what not. But with time, we decided to stick to the easiest-vision. Thanks to Social networking :)

There's a beauty in every smell. You have to learn to smell someone to admire the complexities in which she (or he) is created. Every person is created to wear a smell, artificial or natural, and that smell is actually a part of her which the body realizes later. It's like some eyes look beautiful and can only be truly appreciated when lined with light kohl. Never mind- face, eyes, complexion that's it for you!

Now a crowded place like a mall proved great hunting grounds for me. You could get the elitists, the non-elites, the working class, the innocent ones, the arrogant ones, the fair ones, the dark ones; the fruity, the chocolaty, the strong and repulsive and the usual talcum. Some flaunt their fragrances by standing still and letting it spread like incense from a lobe while a few rush through leaving behind lingering strands of perfume.

Let me delve deep and pull out the best fragrance of the lot. The fragrance that made me swoon and do a pirouette on my feet for more of that intoxication.

I was at the CCD, Inorbit mall Vashi.

There I was brooding over a cup of coffee and frowning over my decision to order an Espresso (Nescafe is better J). I was waiting for a friend who being a girl was exercising all her feminine rights to arrive late. And then I saw the lady of my dreams. Fine, she was not even close to the one I dream about, she was just out of my reach even in my dreams but at that moment she was the one I would have loved to dream about. (Aha! My subtle justifications!)

I was inside the coffee shop surrounded by the glass walls and she was seating across the diagonal couch, talking to a friend of hers. She was facing me and I was facing her. What coincidence, we faced each other.

Now, do I need to tell you that the moment I saw her I fell for her smile? Ok, I need to tell you that. I fell for her smile. Today I am not in a mood to describe beauty at its marvelous best, beauty that could astound you to the extent of delusions,  so cut to the chase. I took out my mobile, went to the text editor mode and I wrote a long "something" about her. I had to lift my head and look at her after every five seconds. She noticed that and even I noticed her noticing my "intended to go unnoticed stupid staring". Anyways, I think she knew what was I doing and even the waiter. The bugger kept grinning at me which made me grin back at him.

Soon she finished her coffee. She stood up, gave one of those fleeting glances (sigh!) and walked towards the counter. Her friend waited their at the table, with those empty cups. I wondered why was she coming to the counter to make the payment. But then I decided to make everyone wonder as well and walked to the counter, to pay the bill even before it was handed over to me. And then, something unmistakably amazing happened. As I was standing close to her, someone gave me a push. It was the same waiter. And exactly at the same time, she turned to return. Her eyes, nose, lips, the entire face came dangerously close to mine and at the exact same moment she whispered before I could, "Oh, sorry!"

Ah! the beauty of the word "Oh!" lies in the 'h'. Without the 'h', it would be just an 'O'. The way it makes the throat open up and the lungs to constrict for that gasp to so rightfully come out. My gratitude to the word 'h' that her breath, deep from within her lungs carrying with itself the fragrance-la-unforgettable, crashed against me.

It was the most beautiful fragrance of a female-smeller's life. It was a revelation, a discovery, a ground-breaking but also heart-breaking moment for me.

The smell of coffee with a hint of mint. YES! The mint had survived the exploits of something as strong as a coffee and lived beyond what was expected to produce the unexpected. I almost tasted the smell. And the sensations enlivened the images- her smile, two empty coffee cups, glass walls, a grinning waiter and her smile and me. A complete cycle.

She turned and walked away leaving behind the smell that not lingered, but deeply flushed into the fibrous origins of my lungs. All I could get of the divine creator of that fragrance was the number of her Scooty! A true admirer always keeps his chances afloat.

I am again going to that CCD and I wish when I order a coffee at CCD out of nowhere a fragment of that fragrance crosses me, and out of nowhere, I see her walking past me, to the counter. Same thing which I had dreamed of from last couple of days.

But I still have her Scooty number. A true admirer always keeps his chances afloat.

pehli mulaaqat se pahele

Aaj unse pehli mulaaqat hogi..

phir aamne saamne baat hogi..

phir hoga kya, kya pata kya khabar..

I am adding to the chorus of this Kishore da’s melody. However, unlike the song there is no excitement in my mind. I guess I am anxious. Or should I say nervous?? Not sure..

I am going to meet someone. This is not the first time ever I am meeting any one but still this is completely different moto. Yup I used the word “moto”.  For the first time ever in my life I am meeting someone to see for whole life or not? I don’t know. Don’t know will I be able to talk properly? Will she think I am khadus? Will she like my voice?? God!!  What is happening? Why am I thinking all this? Relax... Take a deep breath and cool down. It will be fine.

OK, I think you want little back ground of the story….Yes story!! We know each other. We know each other well all through a text, voice etc but all I could say that I never seen her before. Isn’t it madness?? Without seeing a person how can you speak hell of your personal matters? But I did, somehow it happened. Even though in the climax we always see some obstacles comes in picture same will happen here too but …. You know what I want to say right? That’s enough for you to gaze what I am saying isn’t it?

Now coming back today, the day when I am going to meet someone who is going to be special for me for my entire life. Many questions popped out in my mind, will she like me?? How will be her reaction? What she will speak first? With what word I should start to talk?? Shall I speak in English or mother tongue will be fine? What if she thinks I am flaunting too much?? What if she don’t like me?? God! Please grant me strength to handle this.

I know I never thought like this, but what should I wear, a formals or casuals? What she likes? All I say I look good in casuals. God! Please let me have the right gait with it on.

Sometimes I speak out what comes in my mind although sensible enough but it give impression that I am flaunting. Well with her I should be more composed with all things. God!! Please control me.

"Humare zamane mein ladkiyan badi sharmili hoti thi.. aur aaj-kal ki kudiyan...." Oh this is my mother's voice echoing in my mind. I know I am bold and my friends says confidence shows on my face. Will she like that? What if she bold and very open? What if she is too much forward? I am not sure. God! Please conceal it and portray me as a timid person.

Well something which I needs to tell is about my work profile. I know she won’t ask me but still. I agree overall package I have is not much handsome but I will try to rebalance everything. Again my desire to study further that too full time where I won’t be earning anything. Is it fine with her? What if she don’t agree with me?? And suppose I can’t present my case strongly. God!! Please help me live with this.

You know while writing this I am getting all the words we had spoke in last few days…..well I am afraid too…but I am hopeful too….well adding here one phrase “Agar miya bibi raji toh kya karega kazi”. It is as simple as mathematics 2+2=4 only don’t try to make it 5. Hope you will able to make your family understand the simplicity of life and growth starts from root not from the leafs J

Just Hold on… Why am I being so paranoid? Will she too be thinking the way I am? And with the same intensity? Let me just revisit my thoughts...

What’s wrong if the I speak my heart out? And also try to flaunt my thoughts? She knew it already.

What’s wrong with the casual? And even she will be in same casuals right jeans and tee??

What’s damaging about my thoughts? In fact I feel they are the main force of attraction isn’t it??

What’s unethical if I will get to much comfortable with talking her?? As a matter of trust that would make her to comfortable!!

What’s immoral if my package is not handsome enough? But she know that as a family I can manage everything….and if she desires more than what else can be a better inspiration to work and earn harder?

And what’s wrong if I tell her that I wish to study further more to give her better future!!

Why should I let these inhibitions accompany me and mask the “essence of myself”? Why should I change something which has been built over past 25 years just to ensure that a girl who meets me for 25 minutes says a YES?

Why shouldn't I present the "me" as I am? But at least I'll be sure that my core is not lost in the process. After all that’s what marriage is all about right? Accepting the differences and respecting the individuality??

It’s not worth troubling the Almighty with these silly problems. Let me handle the issue myself :) and leave the rest to Destiny.

SWEETS AT MY DESK.!

Subha Utha, Nahaya...Mast Deo Lagaya...
Usko Yaad Kiya Aur Muskuraya...

Muskurahat Ka Kaaran Tha , Kya Sapna Liya Tha Raat Ko
Main Company Ka CEO Aur My Dream Girl Was My PMO.

Mann to Kiya So Jaun, Swapn Ki Duniya Mein Laut Jaun...
Phir Socha Uski Jhalak Paani Hain Office Mein, Kahin Late Na Ho Jaun...

Goggles Lagaya Style Mein, Sutta Niptaya,
Bike Kiya Self Start, Accelerater Maara

Pahooncha Office...Card Swipe Kara..
Khola Pc ...Outlook Express Top Par Mail Uska Paaya...

Mailbox Dekh Sanatta Chaya..
Uska Mail Ka Subject Humien Na Bhaya..

Ek Baar Phir Kiya Mail Ka Subject Check
Oh No ..Not Again..Same Words..."Sweets At My Desk"

Darte Darte Khola Mail...Andar Wedding Invitation Paaya...
Lo Bhaiya Lut Gayee Duniya...Mandraya Kala Saaya...

Dukhi Mann Se Socha ...Chalo Ek Baar Contents To Padd Le..
Naam Kya Hai Ladke Ka...Details Se Rubaru To Ho Le...

Phir Ek Baar Mann Chakkar Khaya...Uska Naam Kahin Naa Paaya..
Mail Ka Phir Se Audit Kiya...Dil Ko Ncr Report Acha Aaya...

Mail Ke Subject Se Achi Mail Ke Body Nikli..
Jiski Shaadi Thi ..Woh To Uski Sister Nikli...

Bhujti Hui Lau Phir Phadphadai...
Ek Umeed Jaagi..Asha Ki Ek Kiran Nazar Aayee.

Josh Bhare Kadmon Se Rukh Kiya Uske Cubicle Ki Aur...
Ab Sirf Uskee Jhalak Nahin ..Yeh Dil Maange More..

Aaj Tak Cubicle Ki Diwaron Se Dekha Tha Usko..
Dekhte Hi Usne Bola ..Lo Dear, Sweets Lo..

Humne Suna "Dear" , Humne Kaha Ab No Fear.
Kiya Jhuki Aankhon Se Usko Stare, Uthaya Sweets Ka Apna Share..

"Dear" Shabd Kitna Acha Lagne Laga Tha....
Uske Aur Mere Beech Ka LOC Ab Mitne Laga Tha...

Baton Hi Baton Mein Usko Bataya Mail Padke Hua Confusion Tha
Reply Jo Bataya Usne, Phir Se Chida Kargil Tha..

Phir Se Lau Bhuj Gayee Thi, Ummeed Mit Gayee Thi ....
Uski Sagai Ki Mail To Ek Hafte Pahle Hi Bounce Back Ho Chuki Thi...

---- Forwarded mail :)

 

Game known as "LIFE"

I am wondering again with the game life playing with me. I mean, from last so many days my mood swings are getting very frequent. They are so volatile like Nifty index. Sometime I feel that what’s wrong with me? Is that my mind is so unstable or I am not able to concentrate on one thing? Its randomness of my life driving me crazy.

Life is a wave, Life is a tide,
Sometimes its low, sometimes its high.
What should you do, what you shouldn't.
You have to think, you have to decide.

There has been time when I am surrounded by my friends, close friends, my family but suddenly on a day I find myself alone in the midst of all people. Is that something wrong with me? Why I am not able to keep same kind of chroma with everyone. Why I get lingered with same person so often that I find myself difficult to stay without them and when that person goes away why do I feel that pain?

Sometimes its glee, sometimes its pain,
Sometimes you lose, sometimes you gain,
Every new day is a battle for you
Life never gives any chance again.

Why there are so many people, out there in the middle of this world find so easy to manage their life? Why only I need to fight? Is that I am on wrong path or I am still novice? But I am not….I have been thinking on a level above my capability always! I have been so understanding….then why do I feel discourage now??

Though its easy to sit keep quiet
But you have to stand, you have to fight
The ride is tough, you have to be audacious
The life is for those who are courageous.

Life is the game which I need to understand deeply now. I mean I can’t wait for something to happen, it’s like I need to stand up and make those things happen which I desire. We are into the game which has random rule, you can’t change time but you need to change with the time. You can make it to wonder if you believe yourself. Try to find out realm of your soul. It’s game where you have to make your team happy and if your team is happy then you will be happy.

So play the game of life, play the game of time,
just follow the rules and all would be fine.
Life is all about, the upshot of your deeds,
So act as a Champion and one day you'll succeed.