Monday, August 24, 2009

My Long Lost Song Playlist


After almost 18 months I got my PC working and being into this long weekend I decided to renew my playlist on my system. So I delved into my hard disk, into folders that had been long forgotten, lying untouched since ages like your good old books which lies dumped in the shelve once you grow up.

Folders that had been lying embedded deep in the disk like abandoned Umrao Jaan (my fav Rekha ji). Some of the hidden folders which only bachelor guy can find out (well don't tell to my mom it's in E drive-program files-file submit-folder lock- software-new folder, even james bond might have found difficult to find out those movies . . .heheheh) but well this post is about my playlist so doston kaunsi kaunsi movie phir kabhi bataunga.

Now I was looking into my songs and a found a folder that contained songs which once made my heart dance like a drunken monkey who just left alone in the house. So I rediscovered some old classic songs which were once played at every tea shop in this country.

Songs which define the times I grew up in a mid 90's. songs which contained the gut wrenching grief of a lost love, the cute joy of a blossoming love, the mischievous naughtiness of a lover's wink. Songs which embodied the emotions, which fill the developing heart of every Indian boy when he is growing up. Songs which have made many hero and heroine a star. So ladies, gentlemen and Bobby Darlings, not wishing that these gems ,which have played such an important role in the making of this sophisticated, refined and tasteful young generation go unrecorded on this blog , I give to you, a few of these life changing creations.
"Kahan Gir Gaya Dhoondho Sajan Button meri kurti ka"

English translation, for the benefit of my overseas readers (Yes, I have many visitors from US. A girl from Oman visits sometimes, too.)

(Where has it fallen, please search Darling, The button of my shirt)

This extremely naughty and imaginative song sensitively captured the anxiety and terror of a young girl who, due to a unskilled tailor who used a cheap thread, has lost a very crucially located button on her shirt. To make matter more intense, she is dancing dangerously close to the young hero of the film, the purpose of whose existence is to tease the young girl and belt out bone bending pelvic movements at the same time. It doesn't take much to notice the anguish on Mamta'a face. You gotta be anguished when you got Mithun with you and your shirt button is missing.
Ohh mithun da without you I cant even imagine my playlist. I am you were sole represented certain communities over this country like nariyal paniwala, dalal, autowala, kanoon ka rakhwala heheheh

Hey Saala ! Teri Jaat ka paida maaru ! Mamta meri hai , kya !

The song was picturised on a well fed Mamta Kulkarni along with a clearly uncontrolled Mithun Chakraborty ,who looked as dapper as ever in his wet swept back hair. Now you know why Mamta was so terrified. On a personal note, the song left a huge dent on the contents of my skull , and taught me a lot about what to do when life presents you with a lady who has lost a button on her shirt.

~~

Hero-

Angana mein Baba , dware pe Ma Kaise aau gori , main tohre ghar maa

Heroine-

Khet gaye baba , bazaar gayi ma Akeli hu ghar maa , tu aaja saajna

(Hero-

Your dad is in the court yard; your mom is at the door

How do I enter your house, oh fair one?

Heroine-

Dad is (defecating?) in the fields, mom is in the market

I am Home alone, come in Darling)

If the previous song carefully brought out the issue of cheap buttons and improper tailoring, this song points its finger at the age old problem faced by every young couple – Parents. The song starts off on a touching note where a troubled Govinda is itching to enter the residence of a rather conservative Shilpa Shirodkar.

But at the same time, Govinda is concerned about his physical safety as he believes Shilpa's parents are at home too. As the song progresses and tightly captures the longing of Govinda, the mood is relieved when Shilpa coyly informs him that her father is in the fields and her mother has gone to the market.

In a shocking display of modernity, she not only informs but invites Govinda inside her home. What followed after his entrance his beyond the scope of this post, though of deep interest to the author of this blog. On a parallel note, I strongly believe that we should not draw our head into their personal matters . . lolzz

~~~~

"Tera kale kale lambe lambe naagin se baal ,

Dekho Ankhiyon se goli mare ladki kamaal"

(Your hair is dark dark , long long and like a cobra

Look, The fantastic girl shoot bullets from her eyes)

A trend setting number of its times, this track was the first of its kind which made a girl sound like a weapon of mass destruction. Govinda, who sported a dress which was strikingly similar to an art gallery, first compares Raveena Tandon's hair to a serpent of deadly virtues – The Cobra.

As the audience lies stunned and little babies in the hall start wailing, he proceeds to bravely declare that Raveena has the ability to fire bullets using her eyes. A totally novel and unique concept, this became a talking point across the nation and the Indian Military ranks and if this concept is implemented and we can cut down our defense budget.

So, my fellow music connoisseurs', these were just three of the gems which have offered so much to our lives, to my life. I have laughed, cried, chuckled, sobbed and done a lot of strange things listening to these songs. I hope to showcase more songs soon. But for now, just download this song from Google and enjoy "Jab tak samose mein rahega aaloo.."





Thursday, August 20, 2009

Dhan Te Nan . . Na..Na..


Dhan Te Nan
Dhan Te
Nan

Aaja Aaja dil Nichode..
Raat ki Matki tode

koi good luck nikale..
aaj ghulak to fode.

Hai dil dil dara
mera teli ka tel..

kodi kodi paisa paisa..
paise ka khel..

chal chal sadko pe hogi
Tan Tan…

Dhan Te
Nan
Na..Na..

Dhan Te
Nan
Na..Na..

aaja aaja..

Aaja Aaja dil Nichode..
Raat ki Matki tode
koi
good luck nikale..
aaj ghulak to fode.

aaja aaja..
aaja aaja..

Aaaj ki
hai one way
hai yeh zindagi ki ghadi
ek hi chance
hai
agar hawa hi hawa
hai
agar saans
hai toh yeh romance
hai..

yehi kehte
hai
yehi sunte
hai
jo bhi jaata
hai.. jaata
hai..
Woh phir se aata nahi..

aaja aaja kal nichode..
Raat ki Matki tode
koi
good luck nikale..
aaj ghulak to fode.

hai dil dil
dara
mera
teli ka tel..
kodi
kodi paisa paisa..
paise ka khel..

chal chal sadko pe hogi
Tan Tan…

Dhan Te
Nan
Na..Na..
Dhan Te
Nan
Na..Na..

Koi chaal Asi Chalo Yaar,
Ab ke Samundar bhi Pul par chaley,
Phir tu chaley uspe,
ya main chalu..
shehar ho apne pairo taley..

Kai khabrey
hai..
Kai kabrey
hai..
Jo bhi soye
hai Kabro mein..
unko jagaana nahi..

aaja aaja Dil nichode..
Raat ki Matki tode
koi
good luck nikale..
bollyAdda.com
aaj ghulak to fode.

aaja aaja...

hai dil dil
dara
mera
teli ka tel..
kodi
kodi paisa paisa..
paise ka khel..

hai dil dil
dara
mera
teli ka tel..
kodi
kodi paisa paisa..
paise ka khel..

chal chal sadko pe hogi
Tan Tan…

Dhan Te
Nan
Na..Na..

Dhan Te
Nan
Na..Na..

Monday, August 17, 2009

Sach ka Samna


1. Pick out a scars you have, and explain how you got it.

Abey pahela hi bouncer!! Abey thodi to sharam rakho yeh public hai!! Let me think, I have a strong belief that any decent young man without a history of police encounters or public beatings should not have any scars on his 'jism' (Waise compared to the word 'body', the word 'jism' sounds as cheap as the from first row ticket of Uday Cinema Hall (ghatkopar west)). So after a prolonged examination of the wonderland that my body is, I proclaim I have no scars on my body. I know the question demands I find a scar and even talk about how I got it as if it's the world cup trophy , but then what do I do if I have no scars ? Ab blog post ke liye I won't go around and flirt with girls and get some scar on my face!! Do i?? no na . . .

2. What does your phone look like?

Whats this yaar I mean yeh to 100% girly question hai!! who screams 'Cho chweeeeeeet' everytime looks at a baby (Itni excite ka 'cho chweeet' bolti hai ki baby diaper mein susu kar deta hain). I mean, no male, unless he is under the influence of alcohol, would ask a question like "What does your phone look like?". But anyway , my phone looks like..umm..surprise...a phone!. If you are still amazed, it has a keypad and a screen too!. Nokia connecting the people. Chalo ho gaya. Ab phone ke baare mein aur kya documentary banau? Phone hai ustaad, Bombay Stock Exchange nahi hai!!

3. What is on the walls of your bedroom?

Yaar yeh sting operation paltan tho bedroom tak chale gaye . Arre miyan , shareefo ka mohalla hain yeh , ek jawan ladke ke bedroom ke baare mein poochna kahan ki sharafat hain ?

Aaj bata detein hai bass , dobara mat poochna ( Oye yeh tho chlormint ka ad ho gaya.) - I have on the walls of my bedroom the face of an AC sticking out, baba aadam ke jamane ka wall watch hai and paint hai!! Hehehe . . na koi photo nai hai . . . hehehehe

4. What is your current desktop picture?

Abhi mom gharpe hai isliye Blinking Krishna Bhagwan hai!! Agar mein akela hota tho u might have got colorful reply . . . hehehe

5. Do you believe in gay marriage?

Huh? Kya double meaning wale sawal puch rahe ho bachhe ko. "Do you believe?" I believe a marriage is a union of two minds, who then commit to tread the path of life together, facing all adversity and celebrating all joys together, and helping each other grow in the process. Gay or other wise, the essence of a marriage is unaffected by such trivial issues. Subhan allah, ekdum miss world waala answer diya na!

6. Last person who made you cry?

Rajesh Khanna . . . kal hi maine Anand dekhi thi!! Heheheh but real ans is Me. I believe no one else can make me cry . Tears arise out of what I do with the thoughts in my head. (Kaafi profound hain yeh jawaab , samajh na aye tho koi baat nahi . . kabhi kabhi mein bhi senti ho jata hoon )

7. What is your favorite perfume / cologne?

Yaar main koi Page 3-socialite-fashion designer types hoon jo itna perfume conscious hunga ? Apna 100 rupye mein axe deo lekar use karta aa raha hoon saalo se .Ladkiyan tho ad mein hee attract hoti hain. Real life mein tho sirf 'Namaste Bhaiyya' hee kehti hain who bhi dur se!!!

8. What are you listening to?

'Bol na Halke Halke' from 'Jhoom Barabar Jhoom'. The first time someone told me there is a song which goes "Bol na Halke Halke" , I thought it was about a couple of engineering students whispering answers to each other during an exam.

9. Do you get scared of the dark?

Not if there is Priyanka Chopra in the same dark room.

10. Are you too shy to ask someone out?

Hehehe . . . mein to sawal sun ke hi sharma gaya. . . . oyye hoyye!!!

11. Is anyone in love with you?

Girls, this question is for you. Aaju baaju mat dekho, baat dil ki bol do aaj.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Thank you Bro!! I am Happy!!

I am happy. We were waiting for this moment from last many years. This is best of three moments i had in my life so far!! Its wonderful feeling when someone who is so close to you reach his destiny. what you say Mr. CA !!
----------
I mean i know how he did it infact i was a part of his journey till his exam and i can understand that when you put everything on a stake by working hard and when its time to ripe fruits of that hard work how he feel that. I mean its emotions you feel when you experience it.
------
I still feel fascinated by thinking of that first call he did to me. My Parents had priceless expression on their faces. They were so much happy with the success of thier child. First time i felt that they are satisifed with our effort. I know still long to go but this is a start of new journey.
--------
Need to thank many people here but still bro yeh dil mange more!! "Agar rank aata tha to maja aa jata tha"
----
Once again Thanks bro!! You did it again. Happy for you. I am happy!!


Tuesday, August 11, 2009

" The day after tommorow "


This is rare opportunity so far in my lifetime where everyone around me talking about a day "D Day"

I mean everyone around me, my bro and my family is thinking about the day after tommorow. So many expectation so many wishes so many hopes and so many faces sometime it just makes you scare with the burden of all when you sum it up together.

I know exam has been over and result also might be ready by now, whatever he can do he has already done that and believe me he had worked really hard but still we feel that anxiety, bubbles in belly. I am really amazed by how ones success makes everyone happy around him. I want to see face of my parents, my siblings, my relatives, those priceless expressions, those precious smiles. I am so much eager to live that moment right now i am aroused with those thoughts.

Right now i am so much nervous that i wont write much here, its like from ages we are waiting for that moment. I know nothing is so much important in life but you live your life for some moments and i am waiting for that moments " The day after tommorow "

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Will You Marry Me?? I don’t think so!!


Hey, look your hair beta. They are covering your ears. They trap dust and pollens. They hold sweat. They keep the air from getting to the scalp. All this can cause a lot of medical complications. And ya with this hair tell me, "kounsi ladki tumse shaadi karegi?"

And when all this is said in a cold, technical, documentary, scary voice, and that too by a man who has brought you on this earth and still controls your expenses, your many future decisions, you have no choice but to appreciate how important a haircut is. So when dad "asked" me to get a haircut, I got a haircut by donating my hair and 30 bugs to Maruti Saloon (Air condition)

The barber was religiously follower of all cricket matches, and more than my hair cut he was wrenchingly interested in the ashes series on the star cricket as he swiped scissors around my head and looking into TV where Australians batting like a brunch of grandmothers wasn't helping his mood. I was particularly scared when he mouthed "Saalo kee gardan kaatni chahiye" and picked up the razor to work on me.
------------
It is such close shaves with death which help one appreciate how precious life is. When it ended, I ran back to home and hugged my mom. I swear I will never go to any saloon when any cricket match is going on.

The weekend at home was chatting with ma while I sat on the kitchen floor, telling dad I do have future plans but I do not know what they are, but there are certainly, sachhi mein pa!! Suddenly my dad was staring me and what came out was a slip with this written on it - "beta, what are your wedding plans?" (beta, shaaadeee wadeeee ka kya socha hai ?)

To be honest, my only responsibility till now has been to study, to complete my assignments in office, to pay my EMI dues on time and to come back home in the evening and help mom up to some extent, and since I am coming late now, even the last have gone missing. But "life mein twist" will come soon enough.

If responsibility is war, marriage is the America's responsibility. If responsibility is money, marriage is the RBI's responsibility. If responsibility is salary, marriage is my employer's responsibilities. To my under developed brain, marriage is a state of the art, cutting edge, ultimate responsibility.

And even though I am just 25, the 25 number was mouthed around millions times by my parents during last month. As per reliable sources, a couple of aunts and uncles trying to hijack my freedom with some of their dur ke ristedaar. They have been bringing in some wedding proposals for me. I read in the newspaper about Chhota Rajan being a diploma holder in kidnappings. I searched "how to contact Chhota Rajan for getting a few of them kidnapped" on Google. Not much information so far.

If by mistake some girl ready and when I do marry, it's like a responsibility of keeping someone happy for life. If some girl leaves her home, parents, family, neighbors, pet dogs and boyfriends obviously to marry me and come to my home, it is automatically becomes my responsibility to keep her happy. I have seen hindi movies. I have seen that the elders leave the boy and the girl "alone" for some time so that "wo ek doosre ko jaaan le, pehchaaan le, samajh le". I will try my best to warn her about how sincere stupid I can be, and I will tell her about her too. But asking me to understand a girl in such a short time makes giving a bath to a crocodile looks easy, including soaping its back. And like I do not expect to know her completely, she won't know me.

And at a later stage, she may find that I am not serious even at her uncle's condolence meeting, that I like to watch rajnikant movies, and insist that she watches it too, that I hate attending her dad's brother's daughter's son's engagement, that I look at the ceiling fan when her uncle asks me about why reliance charge him so much in call, that I watch Tom and Jerry with my kids when I should be making them study, that I am perfectly incapable of holding any intellectually stimulating discussions with her, and all this may leave her feeling cheated for life. Don't you think??

And even if I ever need someone, I need someone who thinks it's perfectly human to talk with yourself; someone who appreciates reading books freely at nearby mall, and may even like to do window shopping. Someone who thinks bliss is a silly little evening with me, no outings. Someone who is not irritated if I narrate all my blogs 35 times in a month. Someone who doesn't run away if I tell her the latest dialogues I picked up from the last hindi flick I watched. Someone who doesn't act like some comet hit our home when I forget to wish her birthday consecutive years. In short, I need a girl as sincere stupid and dumb as me, and like stupid and dumb people.

And considering how incompletely a boy knows a girl when the marriage happens, I do not want to go ahead with a responsibility I am not sure I can fulfill. I do not want some girl to marry me and then discover she needed someone more civilized and refined and social. I do not want the girl to feel that she is the unluckiest wife on this planet, along with Hillary Clinton maybe. If you think Hillary Clinton is not so unlucky, try managing someone like Bill Clinton with monica levensky.

So I really need Google to help me to publish my post. So any girl thinks for me can read this post and when she meet with me, that time she shouldn't think that how GOD can make such mistakes. So Google, you can save a girl's life.

So what you think??

hahahahahah . . . .


Saturday, August 8, 2009

!! Absolved !!

I uttered those petty words
When you were busy in your world

You did heard them
As a part of a strange blame

You look still confused now

With my open but veiled bow

Will not back till you believe

This is way only i will relieve

Free of guilt; yet not judged

This what i wanted to confessed

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Share - O - Shayari

Hasratien dil me dabane se kya haasil hoga
Apne hoth hila kar to dekho


Khamoshi se kab hoti hai khwahishein poori
Dil ki baat bata kar to dekho


Jo hai dil mei use kar do bayaan
Khud ko ek baar jata kar to dekho
-------------------------------------
Hasratien dil me dabane se kya haasil hoga
Ek baar khul kar jee kar to dekho

Monday, August 3, 2009

My Girl Friend, Basanti !!


I am young, a youth member of this rising economy but I am not social economist, not a social activist who stand with megha patkar, I am not a intellectual liberated youth instance who sips coffee and holds an opinion on everything from "Rakhi Sawant ka swyamwar" to indo-pak on Baluchistan issue and to double India's GDP over night. Actually I am a simple guy with views as superficial as John Abraham's acting skills and my understanding of social trends runs as short as the skirt of the kareena kapoor in kambakt ishq. But lately, I am beginning to notice the subtle extermination of a rather happy social species - The Single male

Having a girlfriend says two things about a guy
  1. On a look index, guy ranks somewhere between Hrithik and Shahrukh
  2. On a financial index, guy ranks somewhere between two ambani brothers
Not having a girlfriend also says two things about a guy
  1. He is a gay.
  2. He is definitely a gay.
Array yaar kuch to sharam kar, Abu Salem ki bhi girl friend hai and Mika, uski to do-do girlfriend hai. I mean Guys who aren't even close to respecting a woman have girlfriends. Its seems that every one is going around now days.

And this social development confuses me and poses an intriguing question - When everyone around me is "going around" , and I am single, and not gay, why do I feel a girlfriend is a pretty ( or not-so-pretty) friend who eats up personal independence and hikes up phone bills? To make things more rational, let me imagine I have a girlfriend, whom I shall call Basanti as a mark of respect to dream girl (Dharam pa ki) Hema Ji.

Now let me see how 'going around' with Basanti can dent my life.

1. "Kis se baat kar raha tha?"


Basanti calls me up and finds my number to be busy. Basanti again calls me up after 1 min and 37 seconds again finds my number to be busy. She can't wait any more she again calls me up after exactly 43 sec And even though she heard the pre recorded Reliance voice says "The number you are trying to call is currently busy. Please try after some time", but Basanti hears "The guy you are trying to call up is highly cheap. He is talking to Shruti (kaun hai ye bhai??) right now and is expressing is undying love to her. He may claim he was talking to his mother. Don't trust him."


Soon after I disconnect the call to maaaa, Basanti calls me up and before I can say a hello, yells a "Go to Hell! And take Shruti along with you!" shattering my eardrum. The insecurity of Basanti. Sigh.


2."Wo kurti bhi pack kar deejiye and wo salwar bhi"


So it is second anniversary of the day me and Basanti first had sms each other and she expects a gift. It's not just a gift, but a sweet 'nishani' which carries the perfumed memories of that lovely day, she says. So I go over to the Palm Beach gallery and searched everything in girls compartment, while in my single days, I would have spent the same time watching CNBC. After a couple of hours, I finally buy a pink kurti which costs me more than the price from which I can come back from goa. All the gifts a Basanti demands/requests/expects.Sigh.


3. Sniff. Sniff.


A fine lazy Sunday afternoon. I lie on the couch flipping between ESPN and HBO. The phone rings.


Me: "hello?"

Basanti: "Sniff. Sniff."
Me: "Abbe kaun hai? agle saal bolega kya?".
Basanti: "Sniff. It's me, calling from my friend's mobile, Basanti. Sniff.".
Me: "Oh ok. You have a cold?"
Basanti: "I am....crying. sob sob.."
Me: "Oh. It sounded just like a running nose though. And I saw Kambakt Ishq yesterday. The movie was so much terrible that even the chairs wanted to leave the hall." I decided to change the topic....as soon as i realized flood is coming my way....and she interrupted
Basanti: "You will never understand...sniff...sniff..."

The "emotional intelligence" and "understanding" a Basanti needs from me. Sigh.


4. "Mouth close karke kha!"


Me and Basanti are digging into a Grill Sandwich at the corner. While trying to balance a sandwich slice on its journey from the tray to my mouth, a particularly big onion piece slides off its surface and lands on the table with a plop.


Basanti: "Chee. Theek se kha na. Table manners!"


I scoop up the onion piece from the table with my finger put it in my mouth and say cheerfully:


"Table manners gaye bihar , sandwich khane de yaar"


Basanti: "Sheesh. You are disgusting".


While in my single days I could have asked for extra sauce and chatani to make the overall cost of the sandwich little bit lower and chew as noisily as a i never seen it before, now I need to take care I don't embarrass the great manners ki dukaan, Basanti . The silly changes a Basanti demands from me. Sigh.


5. "Five missed calls and seventeen mails"


Sorry for the abrupt speed breaker, but chal wapas real world mein aa jata hoon. Actually I am in office but so much scared with the thoughts of Basanti that I couldn't recognize call and mails.

Hiaaalllaaaa…….three miss calls from my manager……F***

About Basanti, I have around 197 more points I can write against her. But still, saara zamaana, girlfriend's ka deewana, so there must be something good about Basanti. Just that I don't see it.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Change . . .


Today's the day I want to change
The day that I make me exist
Or so I tell myself
Everyday I think the same thing
Not once has it happened
Until today
I was determined to change
I miss the old me
Everyone does
How can I blame them?
They were right
Only you make your destiny
Me MySelf and I !!
And that's how I like it


Happy Birthday Shank !!!