More I know you....More I love you

Yesterday we had a discussion where you ended it with this line “Most important for me is you else apart everything”. Well do you know how much effect this statement have on me? Isn’t it enough that it forced me to write again something for you.

Wondering with the line when we say “I’ll always be there for you”. Don’t you feel that we feel secured when we heard this from each other. And even if the rain is pouring hard and thunder storm shattering earth but we will never leave each other so we won’t feel alone. Even if the friends and people around us left, but we would stay each others side, just not to feel alone.

You will have me who will be willing to listen you, understand you in your every frustration, in your every depressing moments, every down moments, every self worthless realization moments, I will be there, not because you want me to be with you, but because I want to be with you. I want this world around us feel agony of our bonding not just to show how much we love but to tell them how much we understand and how much happiness we can share in every aspect of the life.

I will be always appreciating you for your every little effort, every little thing you will do, if not in public then don’t get disappointed because in heart. Even a smile of your would mean a lot to me, just because you own that smile, and that even if no words are expressed as long as the eyes understand, you’d be able to communicate, just like now, hug me.

You remember I told you that I love you for who you are. I may not have an answer when you ask me why, but really I don’t have to have any reasons for loving you.

I am grateful to have you. We It may just be coincidence or fate but whatever the reason is, I have to be thankful in having you the same way you are thankful for having me.

I know how difficult these days for you. And when you feel that you are on verge of giving up the things you’ve worked hard for, I know you wont give up but still in those moments look at me, I wont just help you to carry that weight but I will carry it on my own because I’d also be in pain when you are in pain. And then you'll realize, trials would all be worth it as long as you have me, not because I would do things for you, but because you gather all the strength you need, in me and my love.

One compliant you are having that I am not expressing explicitly my feelings for you but believe me when we’re apart, and days seem to be long. I miss you. We fight over that feelings because we are looking forward to seeing each other, and that’s something to be happy about. Isn’t it?

I care and I care enough to think of you and what you will be someday. But of course, I also want you to be part of my thoughts. You to be part of my journey. You to be my crorepatni.

You know, you can be who you really are with me. No pretend, no lies, no hypocrisy, because I accept you for who you are. You can be funny, you can be embarrassed, you can be fat or mad but it won’t matter now coz it doesn’t matter to me. Trust and faith in each other keeps us alive. And it will always do.

There will be days, moments that because of distraction, you may not hear my inner voice, my love for you but as long as you feel it, my efforts will paid off. And when you will feel the same way as I do…. I would feel as if I’m the luckiest person alive. I know for sure, you will feel absolutely same way.

Being Master of the Market? Nope

Wondering with the stint I had have with the market or I say bazaar, share bazaar J. Market itself is the universe where you learn a lot with in yourself. Believe me markets makes you learn so much that you wont ever find out anywhere.

Whatever you are trader, investor, hedger or speculator every one wants their bets (oopss did I used right word) should go right. Everyone wants to be master of market. But you can not be a good trader, investor, hedger or speculator till you really want that you should mastered/ will master the market.

A simple question pop up in my mind “can you ever become GOD?” Nope. You can only become one with him and that happens only when one surrenders the ego. Yes “ego”.  Why we all are so fond of god? Because we know that we can not be god ever. Same way have you ever wondered why do markets have this crazy attraction? I myself getting crazy towards it. Why do people become so addicted to them? The first reason may be the elusive and illusive nature of the market. Whatever we can’t master becomes attractive to us; be it God, market or a beautiful lady!

We want to KNOW the market, something that we can’t do. All the efforts to master the market are driven by our egotism. But one must remember: Market is a place where you become the master through a complete surrender. There is no place for ego here. You accept all the commandments of the market. If you had thought that it would go up and it goes down; accept the fact wholeheartedly without feeling any injury to your ego. Don’t say: how can the market contradict ME! If you don’t accept the markets as they are, you will be left an emotional wreck.

Make one thing sure that you are not controlling the market, Market is controlling you. Up, down, bull, bear whatever be the market your emotions gets controlled by the market. One universal rule I want to mention here is that “Money can not be created in market, it just transferred from one person to other” so for every happiness you have in market, there has to be sadness to rebalance.

Trading in the markets is a journey in self-discovery. You venture out to discover the secret of the market and end up discovering yourself. You discover your impatience, your inner fears, your greed etc. In sum, you are forced to reassess yourself. After all these aspects of your personality are discovered, it is up to you whether you have the guts to come to terms with all the universal human emotions. I don’t say that you will eradicate these from your system. Here also only an acceptance of these will lead to a position when you do not resign to these temptations. The key is to gain objectivity. Courage is not the absence of fear but its conquest. When you are able to withstand your own frailties and become successful as a trader, you will realize that all through your own self was the biggest obstacle and the markets never stopped you from being successful. You yourself were the impediment. Even after this success, you realize that you have still have not mastered the market but conquered your own self. You can even find God through surrender of the self. 

Remember: Market like God is not mastered/its realized.

Know then thyself.

It is all in your mind

The business executive was deep in debt and could see no way out.

Creditors were closing in on him. Suppliers were demanding payment. He sat on the park bench, head in hands, wondering if anything could save his company from bankruptcy.

Suddenly an old man appeared before him.

"I can see that something is troubling you," he said.

After listening to the executive's woes, the old man said, "I believe I can help you."

He asked the man his name, wrote out a check, and pushed it into his hand saying, "Take this money. Meet me here exactly one year from today, and you can pay me back at that time."

Then he turned and disappeared as quickly as he had come.

The business executive saw in his hand a check for $500,000, signed by John D. Rockefeller, then one of the richest men in the world!

"I can erase my money worries in an instant!" he realized. But instead, the executive decided to put the uncashed check in his safe.

Just knowing it was there might give him the strength to work out a way to save his business, he thought.

With renewed optimism, he negotiated better deals and extended terms of payment. He closed several big sales. Within a few months, he was out of debt and making money once again.

Exactly one year later, he returned to the park with the uncashed check. At the agreed-upon time, the old man appeared. But just as the executive was about to hand back the check and share his success story, a nurse came running up and grabbed the old man.

"I'm so glad I caught him!" she cried. "I hope he hasn't been bothering you. He's always escaping from the rest home and telling people he's John D. Rockefeller."

And she led the old man away by the arm.

The astonished executive just stood there, stunned. All year long he'd been wheeling and dealing, buying and selling, convinced he had half a million dollars behind him.

Suddenly, he realized that it wasn't the money, real or imagined, that had turned his life around. It was his new found self-confidence that gave him the power to achieve anything he went after.

Use your imagination and create the world you want to be in...it is the easiest choice you can make to turn your life around and make a huge shift in your life style.

- Input from Unknown source.

Kuch Baatein - Dil se

Ehsas mohobatt ke leke in ankhon mein jab nikal pade the hum

Ladte, struggle karke dilon mein chaap chhoda karte hai hum

Par ab wohi chaapo ko yaad karte hue hum

Kabhi has aur kabi ro padte hai hum

Khwabo-khayalo ki baatein karte hai hum

Aur kabhi inhi khayalo mein kho jate hai hum

Dil se dil ke awaaz sun lete hai hum

Aur kabhi yehi dil ko rula dete hai hum

Din bhar baat karne ko taraste hai hum

Aur ratko who hi baat pe jagad padte hum

Jagadte jagadte kuch thak se jate hai hum

Aur phir ekduje ko manaya bhi karte hai hum

Phir subah hote hi khush ho jate hai hum

Aur phir se pyari batein kiya karte hai hum

Phir ehsas mohbatt ka leke ankhon se baat kiya karte hai hum

Ladte struggle karke dono dilon mein chaap chooda karte hai hum

SHANK

Why retail Investor lose his money in share market ?

(1) He is among the last few people to enter into the Bull Run. 

(2) He keeps on changing a single stock 

(3) Never put the Stop Loss in the System. 

(4) Always the first one to exit from stock which are in Bull Run, with minimum profit.  

(5) Don't have a Habit of trading by Robotics mechanism 

(6) By doing the emotional Trading, Holding the positions in Loss and cutting down the positions early in profit

(7) Lack of home work before entering in a stock. 

(8) Lack of resources about the movements and news which affects the Stock market. 

(9) Too much greed from a single Stock.

(10) Day dreaming in stock market also makes him suffer huge losses.

(11) never traded with the trend of the market.

(12) Fear in going shorts in stock.

(13) Was not able to stay away from the market when it is sideways.

(14) Didn't invested money in sectors which are outperforming the Index

(15) Listening to rumors and investing money there.

Lazy Day !!

Early Morning Dew on leaf, but her eyes last nite could hardly sleep. Day is bright, but her sinchan nature is on strike. Birds are singing song, but she is mum with a tongue which is long. Sun is shinning, but she is hardly smiling. Roads are crowded, but her mind silently shouted. Sir in class is teaching, but  her  mind cheating. At home all are having breakfast, but she is having fast. At office all are busy, but she is still lazy. Itz tym 2 go, Its tym 2 go. Hey Lazy mind wake up, Hey Long tongue speak up, Sinchan get up, coz 2day is wednesday so heart's pump up. :-) ------ From Her to me :)

A letter to Heart !!

Dear Heart,

I know you’re being very happy and satisfied right now, I feel it too. Things happen in last couple of weeks are seems to be like a dream coming true. I am sorry now, you have to be with her because your place in me has been already taken by her heart. I’m very sorry I can’t do anything much to stop her heart taking place of yours. But do you know that both hearts are dancing on the same beat? Don’t worry she will protect you same way as I do.

Do you know that you never ever follow the rule where mind do. The mind thinks where you only feel. Emotions, feelings, love, they are always around you and now you got someone with whom you can share all your emotions, I am feeling jealous of yours.

You know with the time, lot of responsibility will be come on you, you have to make everyone happy specially to her. So, don’t make any mistakes, even though you are human heart but take care of every situation artistically. You can’t turn back time and do a correction because you don’t have eraser to do that.

Trust your innocence, trust your love, trust on trust someone else have on you, see the dreams someone have seen with you, you don’t want to break them at all, don’t you? Play on the safe side, Heart.

And you know what, you have your own grace and that’s the reason you are getting admired by her. You don’t have that flamboyance kind of attitude but you have insane sweep of emotions, flicking of expressions. You are just a heart of a man and she is the only woman who provoked the desires that no other woman has ever been able to do. It may sound indecent but if you look at the honesty of it then you won’t find anything wrong in it. It’s just a wish, one of the countless wishes I will carry to live with her.

Heart, you know she is now intriguing part of my life. Why? Very few relationships grows so strong very fast. People say relationship that grew fast are shallow kind of. But I don’t think that’s hold true for us. I can’t say how much of our nature/behavior helped it and believe me I am not afraid of anything at all. Because we have started this relationship with what we are , not we pretend to be. May be it was planned for us to stay this way, may be it is destined to stay this way.

You have been the reason behind many of my smiles. I thank you for everything.  God bless you. Bbye. Take care.  :-)

Second Inning officially!!

Guys before you run your mind somewhere else let me tell you that don’t think anything else after reading the title of the blog, come along with me I will take you where I want you all to go. Sorry to disappoint many people (or many had felt good about it) otherwise :D. ok still you don’t know what I am talking about than check out my previous posts…. Getting committed :)

At this point of time, I am in a very different state of mind where I can’t believe that I have already taken up the decision with whom I will be sharing my rest of life. Just few days back, every morning I wake up and wonder how life will take a turn and where it will go? Who will be going to share my life, everyday after returning back from work watching TV and wondering with the emptiness for the rest of the day. Now people don’t think that I am very pathetic and sad person, this is just highlights of the thoughts I had but now I am so excited, I know she will not make me feel alone any moment, she will be there to listen me, talk with me, to make me happy, to keep me busy…..hehehe

I have been completely enjoying every moment of the post-official engagement preps. Here are some fun moments -

The Father-in-Law   (Dharmendra Paaji)

Very first day after retaliating so much they went for shopping and that too for me : ) and that too in RAYMOND shop (read Raymond in bold)..lolzz.. He call up me from the shop

FIL : Hello, why you were not picking up my call?

Me : (Abhi inko kya bolun mein) Hello, I was getting refreshed.

FIL : Refreshed for what? (in mind he might be thinking that I am going for date with his daughter)

Me : Just came from office. So tell me how come you call me up today? (cutting down the conversation)

FIL : I am in Raymond shop to buy clothes for you (read Raymond in bold) just wanted to know your choice

Me : (wondering what was real purpose of calling me) it’s ok, I am fine with any of your choice (unless it is really from Raymond)

FIL : They won’t exchange afterwards

Me : (I am not mad to come back to you with clothes again) I am confident with your choice… ddaa…..dd :P

The Mother-in-Law  "Eat Eat Beta... How Thin You Are"

MIL Scene no 1 - "Shankar, eat more... so thin you are... else you won't look good in shaadi"

MIL Scene no 2 - “Shankar, take some more… so thin you are... else you won't look good in shaadi"

MIL Scene no 3 (looking at me from head to toe) - "… so thin you are... else you won't look good in shaadi"

The Subconscious Sixth Sense

Do you know that I am a very good listener? I will listen to you even if you talk to me while I am asleep.  : ) No, really! I can listen you and now I have to listen you quietly all the time. Obviously, kaun dimag kharab karega apna : D

Stop Confusing Me!

She (to me) : “You are such a nice person! Be like this after marriage also okay?”

She(to me the very next day) : “will you be like this after marriage also kya?”

Lesson learnt : Only listen, don’t think :)

Me (deciding to join in action) - "I miss you so much that I started missing you even if you are with me…lolzz just kidding baccha…love you shona!!"

That's all folks!

Will update you all after some days. I am on a month (probably) long (I wish this new feelings stay longer period) post engaged period, let me enjoy the most beautiful time of the love, when you get love without asking for it :):)

Color's of Life

What makes me to write this? Even I don’t know. But sometimes you just feel burden of the unknown weight on you own shoulders and you feel everything is interconnected. And then sometimes they don’t. one would wonder how that happen. There aren’t answers to all questions. Some questions demand no answers. Rhetoric.

Yet, in a life something always remains so absurd, abstract. Wondering why this happen? Is that one needs to think about only good side of everything? Or one just needs to ignore bad side? Our perspective in life are so blunt to someone else, it also gives monotonous impression to but one need to understand for that person that perspective may be a way to see those coming changes.

There aren’t two sides to a coin. It has faces, curves, vertices. Sometimes in a life we presumes that things are either black or white, either true or false. But we forget that there exist shades of grey, blue, yellow, red…. Same way something is true for someone and may be false for someone else. Versatility. Individuality. Radiance. They depict so much character, one would almost a expect a pause. Almost. But it’s not.

Yet somehow, you try to pause everything around you. They energize, depress, anger, infuriate, calm, soothe.... They do all this and more. Yet, we can't give them life. They do that to us. Personification, you say. Suit yourself.

The irony, however, remains so volatile. When they choose to get together, stick together, join hands and support your goal they fuse and transform into a lovely, peacefully soothing white. When they revolt, argue, contradict, rebel and repel, they bounce away, reflect off, dissipate and diffuse to leave behind a dark, gloomy, almost toxic black.

One would wonder why that happens, what happens to the shades and colors. What happens to them? What happens to you? You'd think they are not interconnected. And then again, sometimes, they do...

"Live life big not Long"

It’s Monday morning blues and I am sitting in front of my PC unaware of what to do. This is because of you. You are roaming in my mind. I woke up early in the morning today because of some messages in my inbox. I took my cell, browse through the inbox and read all the sms’s one by one. I want to believe that these all can be dream and you know dream dreamt early in the morning really come true. J

But you know at the moment I am not holding on to any hopes. I know you don’t believe in words. So you should relax now, you will not be stand on any wrong side because of anyone’s hopes. Strange isn’t it!! How I am thinking about you now. Well with the time you even come to know more about it.

You know, you are the one who I think has everything that I hoped were in ‘Sukanya’ and you does not posses a lot of the things that I hated in ‘Sukanya’. From last two days I tried to see ‘Sukanya’ in you, but than I realized there is something more than ‘Sukanya’ lies inside you. Believe me, for few more days I will think on the same line until I start liking you more than a friend J. Well I don’t want to think much beyond the limit as of now but sheer existence of yours in last couple of days making me so much happy. Thank you.

Do I need to explain now how my imagination has drawn a sketch of yours idiot? Tell me how am I to tell you what makes me to write this? whatever you have had shared with me so far doesn’t define you conservative girl at all. But I like to say you ‘a traditional forward girl’. Yup it says everything which you wanted me to understand. Isn’t it?

I will start with the your hairs, well what makes you to say that you highlight your hair regularly and that too with the red, yellow and now gold….. well I need to have smile on it….its fine re unless it goes with your personality and doesn’t look weird on you J And about ring…well I am only concerned with your left hand 4^th finger who touch your heart directly. Remaining all fingers are yours J

You know I have a habit of building a castle with the hope out of sand and I did always intentionally. Things that crumble easily don’t hurt when destroyed, they come with their share of bleak chances of survival. And if it survive than the emission of happiness from that will be altogether of different level.

The line which I liked most so far is ‘Live life big not long’ and it goes with your personality. I mean swimming, skating, badminton, karate, yogic, etc what not yaar… I mean this stays how you have grown wisely. I mean you may not be expert but still you know what it means ‘spirit of sports’ and you know that will make you unique in whole crowd.

There is seed of hope growing in my fertile heart now that someday you will become the one I have always wanted and seriously somehow I will manage to come up to your expectation too.

When I started this, I thought of writing so much but I think I will stop here. A lot of things have remained unspoken between us. It’s our book of secrets where we will write pages after pages together.

NB: This post has been written couple of months back : )

Something for You :)

Today I met you I found more than a friend And we are in relationship that I pray will never end Your smile - so sweet And so bright - Kept me comforting When day was as dark as night. You never tried to judged me, You understood my sorrow. Then you told me it needn't be that way And gave me the hope of a better tomorrow. You are always there for me, I knew I could count on you. You will give me advice and encouragement Whenever I didn't know what to do. You helped me know what love means You made life seems so good. You said I can do anything for you And suddenly I knew even I could. There were moments when we didn't see eye to eye And there were days when both of us cried. But even so we made it through: Our Relationship hasn't yet died. Circumstances will pulled us apart, We can separated by many mile Truly, the only thing that keeps us going Is treasured trust of WE will smile whatever we shared Is so precious to me, I hope it grows and flourishes And lasts unto infinity. You are so extra-special to me And so this to you I really must tell: You are my true love, My Guardian Angel, I love you all !!Shank!!

What "Mother" Means:

"Mother" is such a simple word,
But to me there’s meaning seldom heard.
For everything we're today,
Our mothers' love showed us the way.

I’ll love my mother all my days,
For enriching my life in so many ways.
She set me straight and then set me free,
And that’s what the word "mother" means to me.

She stood behind me, Even when I were wrong.
She felt proud of me, Even when I hardly won.

She held my fingers, When I wanted to run fast.
She taught me to walk, When I was dumb like a block.

I owe you more then my love to you,
And i know this love is also 'so much due'..

I love you Mom, I truly do.. I love you Mom, I really Love you..

Happy Birthday !!

Well, The day was 1^st August 1984, normal day as other 364 days in a year but for me it’s important day. It’s my birthday. Happy birthday shankar!!

It has been 26 years now, I came into this earth. Since then, many 1^st August have gone but I am still finding the real purpose and real moments of life to make my parents and sibling proud of me. Different phases of my life with the different such incidences of the same day… today is one more such day…goes by the name “Birthday”.

So, last year I had promised myself to write a blog exclusive for “me” on my birthday. So, today is my Birthday. A day of celebration ... A day where all wish you a "Happy Birthday" ... A day where you party ... A day which goes cheerfully and pompously ...

Again, needs to thank my own people.

“Ya mummy, I know you are happy at last you got your daughter in law. Well I can’t say thanks to you I am afraid that did ‘Thanks’ will cover all things which I owe you….it won’t. but mom, I love you and I may not be able to show you how much I respect you but your place in my life is inevitable”.

“3 pillars, well I can say them core foundation of my life, my belief, sometimes my strength, sometime my defense, my attack, my words, my statements. It will be impossible for me to return things which you all 3 have had done for me. Sometimes I just fabled up with the thoughts that how much impact you all have in my world. Just want to thank you in a grand way….waiting for the day when I will be capable of doing that”

Finally welcoming to one more member into the family, my love. Bachha shank is incomplete without Ankita, you are my world Bachha, there will be many more birthdays to come, and I promise we will be always together to celebrate those birthdays. Do I say thanks to you for coming into my life? Well again thanks will not be covering up all things you have done and you will do for me but Bachha, your all things will not and will never go into vein. Your each effort to make me and people around me happy will be counted darling. I am so grateful to you Bachha.

I have climbed up one more step, flirting with the target. I really don't know what is the target and in which step, I am going to get that; but, whatever these may be, the fact is that I have neared by one step. So, I have to be alert! And, I am focused, I know I have to struggle. Then, this is not new to me either; I am already on the 26th step now. I have struggled a lot to reach here. I have to continue this journey, struggle in the path; may be little harder than the past. But, I can do that... I am ready to take that challenge. I have faith on me, I believe myself, above all, I love myself. I CAN and I WILL ...

Finally, Wish me "Happy Birthday" and Wish me "All the best" for my future ...

Yours Truly ...

Shankar

You and I .....

Lets go to a place,
away from all,
lets hold our hands,
and let the leaves fall.

Lets have a conversation,
but don't utter a word,
and let the eyes speak,
all the words unheard.

Lets feel the life,
lets feel the death,
lets come closer,
and feel the breath.

lets go to the other world,
and lets see all its color,
lets forget everything,
and let this busy world go blur.

lets sing a silent song,
lets have a tearless cry,
come and take me to a world,
where there's only YOU AND I...!!!

You and I…. In this beautiful world :) :)

I got my 'someone' - My Love

It has been long time now I was telling myself that there will be ‘someone’, but now I got my someone, My love :)

someone whom I can take for a coffee
someone whom I can ask for date

someone whom I can ask for ride
someone with whom I can walk openly

someone who become my world
someone who is so special

someone who will give me her shoulder to lean on
someone who will cry when I am hurt

someone who will listen my all crazy talks all day
someone who will read my all crazy stuff

someone who will listen me silently
someone who will see me even when I am not there with her

someone whom I trust more than myself
someone who prays for me every time when I am down

someone whom I can trust blindly
someone for whom I think when I am alone

someone whom I can see even when I close my eyes

someone whom I can’t forget even for a second

someone whom I say you look beautiful
someone who says me I Love You

someone who makes me smile
someone who makes me happy

someone with whom I feel strong
someone without whom I feel weak

I just feel..god knows what but I got someone whom I can say you are my life, my love, my friend, my partner, still searching for right words J for my anki :)

Shhhh…Just don’t ask me how it feels, you know I never forget to keep my hand on my heart after hearing this from you “Bacha, Love you 2 3 4 …” Believe me, It works for me like magic.

Love you bachha.

Getting Committed :)

I am writing Happy, yes happy words once I loved most back on my blog. The words, I had promised to build my life with… Oopsss sorry our life. Pick up your pen SHANK, dip it into the chalice of reveries, let it suck as much as happiness it can and let go and write the story which emits happiness into our own world.

Let me write my dreams today, like we always wanted, like we are born out from those dreams. Isn’t it wonderful, to see dreams together and then see them to come true. Let our words speaks our story, don’t try to controlling them, don’t try to distorting them with beguiled metaphors-let them what they want to be and you will not be disappointed.

I never saw it happening

I'd given up and given in

I just couldn't take the hurt again

What a feeling

I didn't have the strength to fight

Suddenly you seemed so right

Me and you

What a feeling

Let the rain fall, I don't care

I'm yours and suddenly you're mine

Suddenly you're mine

What a feeling

Suddenly from you, me and I, WE seems to be most perfect, I am using OUR more than you and me. Is it the feeling I was missing? is it the feeling I never felt before? There is kind of accomplishment inside me which I just cant capture in a words. There is lot more than smile but those stuff don’t deserve the place here.

Intehaah junoon ki kya hoti hai,
Jab dil ki baat muh se nahi, sabdo se bayaan hoti hai.

Last night, I was walking along with night, and I see the stars so bright. I wish I has you in my sigh and we would fly like a kite J

Hey bachha, thanks a lot coming into my life. I know this post is not enough to cover all thing but my bachha, story will continue forever happily and never ending.

I know now what is Love...

It is you...

It is me...

It is the purity of our souls...

And the Love that is called….. SH(ankar)ANK(ita)

cafe coffee day girl !!

You can admire a person with all your senses. And we humans, use just one or two of our sense. There was a time when we truly used all our senses to communicate love, affection, hatred and what not. But with time, we decided to stick to the easiest-vision. Thanks to Social networking :)

There's a beauty in every smell. You have to learn to smell someone to admire the complexities in which she (or he) is created. Every person is created to wear a smell, artificial or natural, and that smell is actually a part of her which the body realizes later. It's like some eyes look beautiful and can only be truly appreciated when lined with light kohl. Never mind- face, eyes, complexion that's it for you!

Now a crowded place like a mall proved great hunting grounds for me. You could get the elitists, the non-elites, the working class, the innocent ones, the arrogant ones, the fair ones, the dark ones; the fruity, the chocolaty, the strong and repulsive and the usual talcum. Some flaunt their fragrances by standing still and letting it spread like incense from a lobe while a few rush through leaving behind lingering strands of perfume.

Let me delve deep and pull out the best fragrance of the lot. The fragrance that made me swoon and do a pirouette on my feet for more of that intoxication.

I was at the CCD, Inorbit mall Vashi.

There I was brooding over a cup of coffee and frowning over my decision to order an Espresso (Nescafe is better J). I was waiting for a friend who being a girl was exercising all her feminine rights to arrive late. And then I saw the lady of my dreams. Fine, she was not even close to the one I dream about, she was just out of my reach even in my dreams but at that moment she was the one I would have loved to dream about. (Aha! My subtle justifications!)

I was inside the coffee shop surrounded by the glass walls and she was seating across the diagonal couch, talking to a friend of hers. She was facing me and I was facing her. What coincidence, we faced each other.

Now, do I need to tell you that the moment I saw her I fell for her smile? Ok, I need to tell you that. I fell for her smile. Today I am not in a mood to describe beauty at its marvelous best, beauty that could astound you to the extent of delusions,  so cut to the chase. I took out my mobile, went to the text editor mode and I wrote a long "something" about her. I had to lift my head and look at her after every five seconds. She noticed that and even I noticed her noticing my "intended to go unnoticed stupid staring". Anyways, I think she knew what was I doing and even the waiter. The bugger kept grinning at me which made me grin back at him.

Soon she finished her coffee. She stood up, gave one of those fleeting glances (sigh!) and walked towards the counter. Her friend waited their at the table, with those empty cups. I wondered why was she coming to the counter to make the payment. But then I decided to make everyone wonder as well and walked to the counter, to pay the bill even before it was handed over to me. And then, something unmistakably amazing happened. As I was standing close to her, someone gave me a push. It was the same waiter. And exactly at the same time, she turned to return. Her eyes, nose, lips, the entire face came dangerously close to mine and at the exact same moment she whispered before I could, "Oh, sorry!"

Ah! the beauty of the word "Oh!" lies in the 'h'. Without the 'h', it would be just an 'O'. The way it makes the throat open up and the lungs to constrict for that gasp to so rightfully come out. My gratitude to the word 'h' that her breath, deep from within her lungs carrying with itself the fragrance-la-unforgettable, crashed against me.

It was the most beautiful fragrance of a female-smeller's life. It was a revelation, a discovery, a ground-breaking but also heart-breaking moment for me.

The smell of coffee with a hint of mint. YES! The mint had survived the exploits of something as strong as a coffee and lived beyond what was expected to produce the unexpected. I almost tasted the smell. And the sensations enlivened the images- her smile, two empty coffee cups, glass walls, a grinning waiter and her smile and me. A complete cycle.

She turned and walked away leaving behind the smell that not lingered, but deeply flushed into the fibrous origins of my lungs. All I could get of the divine creator of that fragrance was the number of her Scooty! A true admirer always keeps his chances afloat.

I am again going to that CCD and I wish when I order a coffee at CCD out of nowhere a fragment of that fragrance crosses me, and out of nowhere, I see her walking past me, to the counter. Same thing which I had dreamed of from last couple of days.

But I still have her Scooty number. A true admirer always keeps his chances afloat.

pehli mulaaqat se pahele

Aaj unse pehli mulaaqat hogi..

phir aamne saamne baat hogi..

phir hoga kya, kya pata kya khabar..

I am adding to the chorus of this Kishore da’s melody. However, unlike the song there is no excitement in my mind. I guess I am anxious. Or should I say nervous?? Not sure..

I am going to meet someone. This is not the first time ever I am meeting any one but still this is completely different moto. Yup I used the word “moto”.  For the first time ever in my life I am meeting someone to see for whole life or not? I don’t know. Don’t know will I be able to talk properly? Will she think I am khadus? Will she like my voice?? God!!  What is happening? Why am I thinking all this? Relax... Take a deep breath and cool down. It will be fine.

OK, I think you want little back ground of the story….Yes story!! We know each other. We know each other well all through a text, voice etc but all I could say that I never seen her before. Isn’t it madness?? Without seeing a person how can you speak hell of your personal matters? But I did, somehow it happened. Even though in the climax we always see some obstacles comes in picture same will happen here too but …. You know what I want to say right? That’s enough for you to gaze what I am saying isn’t it?

Now coming back today, the day when I am going to meet someone who is going to be special for me for my entire life. Many questions popped out in my mind, will she like me?? How will be her reaction? What she will speak first? With what word I should start to talk?? Shall I speak in English or mother tongue will be fine? What if she thinks I am flaunting too much?? What if she don’t like me?? God! Please grant me strength to handle this.

I know I never thought like this, but what should I wear, a formals or casuals? What she likes? All I say I look good in casuals. God! Please let me have the right gait with it on.

Sometimes I speak out what comes in my mind although sensible enough but it give impression that I am flaunting. Well with her I should be more composed with all things. God!! Please control me.

"Humare zamane mein ladkiyan badi sharmili hoti thi.. aur aaj-kal ki kudiyan...." Oh this is my mother's voice echoing in my mind. I know I am bold and my friends says confidence shows on my face. Will she like that? What if she bold and very open? What if she is too much forward? I am not sure. God! Please conceal it and portray me as a timid person.

Well something which I needs to tell is about my work profile. I know she won’t ask me but still. I agree overall package I have is not much handsome but I will try to rebalance everything. Again my desire to study further that too full time where I won’t be earning anything. Is it fine with her? What if she don’t agree with me?? And suppose I can’t present my case strongly. God!! Please help me live with this.

You know while writing this I am getting all the words we had spoke in last few days…..well I am afraid too…but I am hopeful too….well adding here one phrase “Agar miya bibi raji toh kya karega kazi”. It is as simple as mathematics 2+2=4 only don’t try to make it 5. Hope you will able to make your family understand the simplicity of life and growth starts from root not from the leafs J

Just Hold on… Why am I being so paranoid? Will she too be thinking the way I am? And with the same intensity? Let me just revisit my thoughts...

What’s wrong if the I speak my heart out? And also try to flaunt my thoughts? She knew it already.

What’s wrong with the casual? And even she will be in same casuals right jeans and tee??

What’s damaging about my thoughts? In fact I feel they are the main force of attraction isn’t it??

What’s unethical if I will get to much comfortable with talking her?? As a matter of trust that would make her to comfortable!!

What’s immoral if my package is not handsome enough? But she know that as a family I can manage everything….and if she desires more than what else can be a better inspiration to work and earn harder?

And what’s wrong if I tell her that I wish to study further more to give her better future!!

Why should I let these inhibitions accompany me and mask the “essence of myself”? Why should I change something which has been built over past 25 years just to ensure that a girl who meets me for 25 minutes says a YES?

Why shouldn't I present the "me" as I am? But at least I'll be sure that my core is not lost in the process. After all that’s what marriage is all about right? Accepting the differences and respecting the individuality??

It’s not worth troubling the Almighty with these silly problems. Let me handle the issue myself :) and leave the rest to Destiny.

SWEETS AT MY DESK.!

Subha Utha, Nahaya...Mast Deo Lagaya...
Usko Yaad Kiya Aur Muskuraya...

Muskurahat Ka Kaaran Tha , Kya Sapna Liya Tha Raat Ko
Main Company Ka CEO Aur My Dream Girl Was My PMO.

Mann to Kiya So Jaun, Swapn Ki Duniya Mein Laut Jaun...
Phir Socha Uski Jhalak Paani Hain Office Mein, Kahin Late Na Ho Jaun...

Goggles Lagaya Style Mein, Sutta Niptaya,
Bike Kiya Self Start, Accelerater Maara

Pahooncha Office...Card Swipe Kara..
Khola Pc ...Outlook Express Top Par Mail Uska Paaya...

Mailbox Dekh Sanatta Chaya..
Uska Mail Ka Subject Humien Na Bhaya..

Ek Baar Phir Kiya Mail Ka Subject Check
Oh No ..Not Again..Same Words..."Sweets At My Desk"

Darte Darte Khola Mail...Andar Wedding Invitation Paaya...
Lo Bhaiya Lut Gayee Duniya...Mandraya Kala Saaya...

Dukhi Mann Se Socha ...Chalo Ek Baar Contents To Padd Le..
Naam Kya Hai Ladke Ka...Details Se Rubaru To Ho Le...

Phir Ek Baar Mann Chakkar Khaya...Uska Naam Kahin Naa Paaya..
Mail Ka Phir Se Audit Kiya...Dil Ko Ncr Report Acha Aaya...

Mail Ke Subject Se Achi Mail Ke Body Nikli..
Jiski Shaadi Thi ..Woh To Uski Sister Nikli...

Bhujti Hui Lau Phir Phadphadai...
Ek Umeed Jaagi..Asha Ki Ek Kiran Nazar Aayee.

Josh Bhare Kadmon Se Rukh Kiya Uske Cubicle Ki Aur...
Ab Sirf Uskee Jhalak Nahin ..Yeh Dil Maange More..

Aaj Tak Cubicle Ki Diwaron Se Dekha Tha Usko..
Dekhte Hi Usne Bola ..Lo Dear, Sweets Lo..

Humne Suna "Dear" , Humne Kaha Ab No Fear.
Kiya Jhuki Aankhon Se Usko Stare, Uthaya Sweets Ka Apna Share..

"Dear" Shabd Kitna Acha Lagne Laga Tha....
Uske Aur Mere Beech Ka LOC Ab Mitne Laga Tha...

Baton Hi Baton Mein Usko Bataya Mail Padke Hua Confusion Tha
Reply Jo Bataya Usne, Phir Se Chida Kargil Tha..

Phir Se Lau Bhuj Gayee Thi, Ummeed Mit Gayee Thi ....
Uski Sagai Ki Mail To Ek Hafte Pahle Hi Bounce Back Ho Chuki Thi...

---- Forwarded mail :)