Hey, look your hair beta. They are covering your ears. They trap dust and pollens. They hold sweat. They keep the air from getting to the scalp. All this can cause a lot of medical complications. And ya with this hair tell me, "kounsi ladki tumse shaadi karegi?"
And when all this is said in a cold, technical, documentary, scary voice, and that too by a man who has brought you on this earth and still controls your expenses, your many future decisions, you have no choice but to appreciate how important a haircut is. So when dad "asked" me to get a haircut, I got a haircut by donating my hair and 30 bugs to Maruti Saloon (Air condition)
The barber was religiously follower of all cricket matches, and more than my hair cut he was wrenchingly interested in the ashes series on the star cricket as he swiped scissors around my head and looking into TV where Australians batting like a brunch of grandmothers wasn't helping his mood. I was particularly scared when he mouthed "Saalo kee gardan kaatni chahiye" and picked up the razor to work on me.
------------
It is such close shaves with death which help one appreciate how precious life is. When it ended, I ran back to home and hugged my mom. I swear I will never go to any saloon when any cricket match is going on.
The weekend at home was chatting with ma while I sat on the kitchen floor, telling dad I do have future plans but I do not know what they are, but there are certainly, sachhi mein pa!! Suddenly my dad was staring me and what came out was a slip with this written on it - "beta, what are your wedding plans?" (beta, shaaadeee wadeeee ka kya socha hai ?)
To be honest, my only responsibility till now has been to study, to complete my assignments in office, to pay my EMI dues on time and to come back home in the evening and help mom up to some extent, and since I am coming late now, even the last have gone missing. But "life mein twist" will come soon enough.
If responsibility is war, marriage is the America's responsibility. If responsibility is money, marriage is the RBI's responsibility. If responsibility is salary, marriage is my employer's responsibilities. To my under developed brain, marriage is a state of the art, cutting edge, ultimate responsibility.
And even though I am just 25, the 25 number was mouthed around millions times by my parents during last month. As per reliable sources, a couple of aunts and uncles trying to hijack my freedom with some of their dur ke ristedaar. They have been bringing in some wedding proposals for me. I read in the newspaper about Chhota Rajan being a diploma holder in kidnappings. I searched "how to contact Chhota Rajan for getting a few of them kidnapped" on Google. Not much information so far.
If by mistake some girl ready and when I do marry, it's like a responsibility of keeping someone happy for life. If some girl leaves her home, parents, family, neighbors, pet dogs and boyfriends obviously to marry me and come to my home, it is automatically becomes my responsibility to keep her happy. I have seen hindi movies. I have seen that the elders leave the boy and the girl "alone" for some time so that "wo ek doosre ko jaaan le, pehchaaan le, samajh le". I will try my best to warn her about how sincere stupid I can be, and I will tell her about her too. But asking me to understand a girl in such a short time makes giving a bath to a crocodile looks easy, including soaping its back. And like I do not expect to know her completely, she won't know me.
And at a later stage, she may find that I am not serious even at her uncle's condolence meeting, that I like to watch rajnikant movies, and insist that she watches it too, that I hate attending her dad's brother's daughter's son's engagement, that I look at the ceiling fan when her uncle asks me about why reliance charge him so much in call, that I watch Tom and Jerry with my kids when I should be making them study, that I am perfectly incapable of holding any intellectually stimulating discussions with her, and all this may leave her feeling cheated for life. Don't you think??
And even if I ever need someone, I need someone who thinks it's perfectly human to talk with yourself; someone who appreciates reading books freely at nearby mall, and may even like to do window shopping. Someone who thinks bliss is a silly little evening with me, no outings. Someone who is not irritated if I narrate all my blogs 35 times in a month. Someone who doesn't run away if I tell her the latest dialogues I picked up from the last hindi flick I watched. Someone who doesn't act like some comet hit our home when I forget to wish her birthday consecutive years. In short, I need a girl as sincere stupid and dumb as me, and like stupid and dumb people.
And considering how incompletely a boy knows a girl when the marriage happens, I do not want to go ahead with a responsibility I am not sure I can fulfill. I do not want some girl to marry me and then discover she needed someone more civilized and refined and social. I do not want the girl to feel that she is the unluckiest wife on this planet, along with Hillary Clinton maybe. If you think Hillary Clinton is not so unlucky, try managing someone like Bill Clinton with monica levensky.
So I really need Google to help me to publish my post. So any girl thinks for me can read this post and when she meet with me, that time she shouldn't think that how GOD can make such mistakes. So Google, you can save a girl's life.
So what you think??
hahahahahah . . . .
It is such close shaves with death which help one appreciate how precious life is. When it ended, I ran back to home and hugged my mom. I swear I will never go to any saloon when any cricket match is going on.
The weekend at home was chatting with ma while I sat on the kitchen floor, telling dad I do have future plans but I do not know what they are, but there are certainly, sachhi mein pa!! Suddenly my dad was staring me and what came out was a slip with this written on it - "beta, what are your wedding plans?" (beta, shaaadeee wadeeee ka kya socha hai ?)
To be honest, my only responsibility till now has been to study, to complete my assignments in office, to pay my EMI dues on time and to come back home in the evening and help mom up to some extent, and since I am coming late now, even the last have gone missing. But "life mein twist" will come soon enough.
If responsibility is war, marriage is the America's responsibility. If responsibility is money, marriage is the RBI's responsibility. If responsibility is salary, marriage is my employer's responsibilities. To my under developed brain, marriage is a state of the art, cutting edge, ultimate responsibility.
And even though I am just 25, the 25 number was mouthed around millions times by my parents during last month. As per reliable sources, a couple of aunts and uncles trying to hijack my freedom with some of their dur ke ristedaar. They have been bringing in some wedding proposals for me. I read in the newspaper about Chhota Rajan being a diploma holder in kidnappings. I searched "how to contact Chhota Rajan for getting a few of them kidnapped" on Google. Not much information so far.
If by mistake some girl ready and when I do marry, it's like a responsibility of keeping someone happy for life. If some girl leaves her home, parents, family, neighbors, pet dogs and boyfriends obviously to marry me and come to my home, it is automatically becomes my responsibility to keep her happy. I have seen hindi movies. I have seen that the elders leave the boy and the girl "alone" for some time so that "wo ek doosre ko jaaan le, pehchaaan le, samajh le". I will try my best to warn her about how sincere stupid I can be, and I will tell her about her too. But asking me to understand a girl in such a short time makes giving a bath to a crocodile looks easy, including soaping its back. And like I do not expect to know her completely, she won't know me.
And at a later stage, she may find that I am not serious even at her uncle's condolence meeting, that I like to watch rajnikant movies, and insist that she watches it too, that I hate attending her dad's brother's daughter's son's engagement, that I look at the ceiling fan when her uncle asks me about why reliance charge him so much in call, that I watch Tom and Jerry with my kids when I should be making them study, that I am perfectly incapable of holding any intellectually stimulating discussions with her, and all this may leave her feeling cheated for life. Don't you think??
And even if I ever need someone, I need someone who thinks it's perfectly human to talk with yourself; someone who appreciates reading books freely at nearby mall, and may even like to do window shopping. Someone who thinks bliss is a silly little evening with me, no outings. Someone who is not irritated if I narrate all my blogs 35 times in a month. Someone who doesn't run away if I tell her the latest dialogues I picked up from the last hindi flick I watched. Someone who doesn't act like some comet hit our home when I forget to wish her birthday consecutive years. In short, I need a girl as sincere stupid and dumb as me, and like stupid and dumb people.
And considering how incompletely a boy knows a girl when the marriage happens, I do not want to go ahead with a responsibility I am not sure I can fulfill. I do not want some girl to marry me and then discover she needed someone more civilized and refined and social. I do not want the girl to feel that she is the unluckiest wife on this planet, along with Hillary Clinton maybe. If you think Hillary Clinton is not so unlucky, try managing someone like Bill Clinton with monica levensky.
So I really need Google to help me to publish my post. So any girl thinks for me can read this post and when she meet with me, that time she shouldn't think that how GOD can make such mistakes. So Google, you can save a girl's life.
So what you think??
hahahahahah . . . .
Hey I just came across your blog while surfing... a really good one! I liked the subtle humor in this article... ur writing style is nice and original... keep writing!
ReplyDeletehey why not i m ready .
ReplyDeleteThanks Anonymous
ReplyDelete