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Part - 9
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She looked into his eyes. He was looking towards moon but tears were rolling from his eyes to his chin. She saw that and she couldn’t control herself anymore and she also started crying.
“Plz, don’t cry. I know you. I had seen your face almost every night. I am also vulnerable to the pain which you are going through” she said to him.
He responded to her but this time a frustration was clearly visible in his words. “What do you know about me? What is that you know? What do you know of my pain? All you see is my face.” He responded
“Why are you feeling pity about yourself??” she said
“Self-pity? Yes, I pity myself. I pity the way I suffered. I pity the way I burned those nights. Time didn't give my share of mourning and it stayed all inside. It still is there, burning. It burns me every night. No matter how loud I laugh, how high I jump, how much I cry, it stays there” He said
“Why are you getting so much angry? Don’t you see sympathy for you in my eyes? Don’t you??” she looked into his eyes
Yes, I am angry. Fucking angry. To hell with all your sympathy. Live a single night that I lived and you will crumble.
“Do you think is that all easy for me?? Just compare your fate and mine?? You will see the difference” she lose control on herself
All you know is compare. You, a part of this race that compares everything, jealous of everything, of even sadness. All you do is compare your sorry fate with mine and then fling verdicts at me but don’t feel proud of yourself?
“Yes, I am proud of myself. I am proud of the way I faced everything. I am proud of my coldness, of my fake smiles, of my strength. See the sights I saw and your walls of strength will crumble to dust. Your eyes will well, your heart will pound against the ribs, your lungs will scream for a breath. But wait, you have to smile through all this! You can't cry, not even sob; you have to hold everyone. You have to be strong. And I am proud of myself.” She defended herself
He couldn’t able to utter a single word, he kept listening to her.
But God it hurts. It hurts like hell. I want to speak out. Let go of everything. Someone who would hold me and ask, "Tell me everything. Tell me what all happened to you. Tell me and I will listen." I let no one see me burn but today I need someone to know all that. No, I don't need any sympathy. But I want everything out of me. But how will I make sure that all that's out? Only when someone will tell me, "It's okay. It was not your fault. It has all passed. Stop crying." She continued.
“I was always there standing alone to help you.” He said
“Can you help me measure my pain? Help me please. I beg. Take my life but help me live for a moment. I feel so drowned. So alone. So tired of pretending that I have got over everything”
“Even I want my everything back. I want my innocence back, my life free of worries. I am afraid that in my attempt of running away from my past, from my worries I am running away from the ones who love me the most. They remind me of everything. I am so far from them now. I want to get close to them. I want them”. He said
He responded to her but this time a frustration was clearly visible in his words. “What do you know about me? What is that you know? What do you know of my pain? All you see is my face.” He responded
“Why are you feeling pity about yourself??” she said
“Self-pity? Yes, I pity myself. I pity the way I suffered. I pity the way I burned those nights. Time didn't give my share of mourning and it stayed all inside. It still is there, burning. It burns me every night. No matter how loud I laugh, how high I jump, how much I cry, it stays there” He said
“Why are you getting so much angry? Don’t you see sympathy for you in my eyes? Don’t you??” she looked into his eyes
Yes, I am angry. Fucking angry. To hell with all your sympathy. Live a single night that I lived and you will crumble.
“Do you think is that all easy for me?? Just compare your fate and mine?? You will see the difference” she lose control on herself
All you know is compare. You, a part of this race that compares everything, jealous of everything, of even sadness. All you do is compare your sorry fate with mine and then fling verdicts at me but don’t feel proud of yourself?
“Yes, I am proud of myself. I am proud of the way I faced everything. I am proud of my coldness, of my fake smiles, of my strength. See the sights I saw and your walls of strength will crumble to dust. Your eyes will well, your heart will pound against the ribs, your lungs will scream for a breath. But wait, you have to smile through all this! You can't cry, not even sob; you have to hold everyone. You have to be strong. And I am proud of myself.” She defended herself
He couldn’t able to utter a single word, he kept listening to her.
But God it hurts. It hurts like hell. I want to speak out. Let go of everything. Someone who would hold me and ask, "Tell me everything. Tell me what all happened to you. Tell me and I will listen." I let no one see me burn but today I need someone to know all that. No, I don't need any sympathy. But I want everything out of me. But how will I make sure that all that's out? Only when someone will tell me, "It's okay. It was not your fault. It has all passed. Stop crying." She continued.
“I was always there standing alone to help you.” He said
“Can you help me measure my pain? Help me please. I beg. Take my life but help me live for a moment. I feel so drowned. So alone. So tired of pretending that I have got over everything”
“Even I want my everything back. I want my innocence back, my life free of worries. I am afraid that in my attempt of running away from my past, from my worries I am running away from the ones who love me the most. They remind me of everything. I am so far from them now. I want to get close to them. I want them”. He said
“I want that cuddle of friends, that warmth of my parents, those nights I shared with listening to you. I want you back. I want your shoulders to lean on. I want you please.” He continued.
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