I am within My Self !!

Last night, I was having a conversation with a friend. Since i was a part of the conversation, it was of shameful intellectual standards. We were talking about the kind of girls we had in our batch through out our engineering years. Suddenly in an awful display of veering of conversation, the talk moved onto a rather philosophical plane. Within a matter of minutes of an animated discussion, my friend asked me this

"Have you ever thought what kind of person are you?"

I promptly coughed, murmured something about India and Bangladesh match, and then started talking about his engagement. The conversation ended soon after. (Itne heavy questions poochega to end karni hee padegi na). But then I got back to my room , jumped in my bed , drew my bedsheet over the eyes, stared into the darkness and thought "What kind of person am I?"

Now I am as confident as a Himesh Reshmiya confident about his acting and when I say that around 4 people on this planet would be interested in knowing about the what person I am, assuming my family would be interested in that. But I guess thinking about oneself once in a while clears up things, and then why should only celebrities get to talk about themselves and their favorite colors and favorite dishes? (Priyanka Chopra says "she is geeky". I am too trying to be "geeky" things I do for Piye)

So now I will talk about what I think of myself as a person. I remember one famous quote

"The most uncomfortable person in this world is a person who is not himself."

But over the years, I have tried to practice what this quote said. So I have learnt to listen to myself . I have learnt to develop a sense of self security so I don't need to do things which makes me 'cool' or 'happening' or 'smart'. So I don't drink or smoke, even though guys around me gulp gallons of alcohol and call me 'sissy' and 'mama's boy' while I sip a coke. So I don't stand around the boss during the office meetings and exclaim 'Excellent Idea' when the boss describes a business idea even a pantry guy wont approve. I wont play a rock number on my win-amp just because every cool dude with colored hair says it 'ossssssssummmmm man'.

Improvement is something that belongs to my priority list, but pretending to please your senses is not exactly on my things-to-do list. In short, I am uncool, stuck-in-old-times, and strange to a lot of people, but I have learnt to be myself. And i love myself more than anyone else.

And a contract killer is more spiritual than me, and I dozed off on the second shloka of Bhagvad Geeta, but as the years pass me by, I am beginning to understand the importance of searching for happiness in the right places. Achievements, salaries, accolades, shallow relations serve as a rocket fuel for the ego, but an ego boost is as different from happiness.

I am learning from life, that things change, people change, and clinging onto anything is selfish and as useless as gynecologist gives investment ideas.

Anyway, talking about oneself in words is like i am again trying to fit Adnam Sami again in Priyanka Chopra's low vest jeans. I have done before that also but today I have already destroyed every limit of self indulgance by talking about myself so long, so I will wrap up now.