"LOVE from Near or LOVE from FAR, the LOVE that never got fulfilled lives the longest, because it has survived soul onslaughts and hence is worthy of soul prize and that's you"
It was a longest night for me, I never been in the same position any time in my life. I don't know why I was awake and for whom I was awake but I was missing someone, someone is going away from me and I felt vacant again and something is going to change for sure. So here welcome 2009 with change.
I remember each and everything which we have communicated, I wanted to keep all things but I don't wanted others to think irrational things so here again I am expressing my self, because I want to preserve sweet memory of this precious moments.
It was hard for me to listen you, without speaking a single word because I was not used to it and you never spoke all those things. You never told me that what you have did for me, you never told me how its difficult for you, you never told me that some expectation are out of your reach But I like that call, it has some surprises for me and it has cleared many doubt of mine.
I wanted to tell you many things; I wanted to express many things before it's too late. It was test of my patience, it was test of my feelings, it was test of my understanding for you, it was test of my trust on you, and all got checked in the early morning where we got time to communicate.
I know it is difficult for you, it is out of reach, there are many questions needs to be answer for every action of yours but it is also not too easy for me. I was loosing something and frustration always part of looser. I know you did try your best possible things to satisfy me. But expectation and satisfaction are directly proportional as your satisfaction is fulfilling same time your expectation also increasing so by end of the day you never feel satisfied. Its complex math but I think you will understand.
I was talking about my magic words, yes you did said those words to me, you did kept your hands on my shoulder and said I am always with you, you did said that how much I am important for you, many things u said which I wanted to hear from you. And I was felt satisfied with all those words. But the pain which I was feeling was not making me happy.
It is strange, we were playing with our emotions, heart and mind and it was dangerous game to play indeed. In this game no one will win because in this game nothing to achieve its only we have to feel, its Feel Good Game, where we are trading with our emotions.
Well one thing is sure here and that I have to be emotionally stronger and I want to be emotionally stronger. I don't need to redefine the things which already have been defined. But sometime it makes so much frustrated that i become rude with every one. Plz understand at that time, plz support me at that time.
It seems to be funny and rhetoric to express everything in words but some things which we can't express in words are the feelings.
I don't know it is given take kind of things or not? But that is sure there is always two way communication and you expect same amount in return which you have put into this.
I still remember your last sms where you told me that I am very important part of your life; well I am still feeling glad and thinking that do I deserve that place?? Ans me here….
By the way many things are pending from your side, a testimonial for me, five rules of communication, to find a something for me, my gift and one more thing which I can't tell you here
I hope you are fine and enjoying, God Bless You
Enjoy the song
"Banwara Mann dekhne chala ek sapna
Banwara Mann dekhne chala ek sapna
Banware se Mann ki dekho banwari hai baatien
Banware se Mann ki dekho banwari hai baatien
Banwari si dhadkane hai banwari si saanse
Banwari si karvato se nindiya dur bhage
Banwara Mann dekhne chala ek sapna
Banwara Mann dekhne chala ek sapna"
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